Honor, Face, and Violence - Mine Krause Cross Cultural Communication

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Like their forerunner, Eve,82 all of them got men into trouble” (8). Robin Yassin-Kassab refers to “sexual morality” (221) in general, adding that “[i]t’s the tribal background that turns women’s bodies ←60 | 61→into suitcases of honour” (285) – a trope which hints at the opening and closing “mechanism” of the female body, the former leading to a loss of honor whereas the latter guarantees its remaining innocent. Sema Kaygusuz‘s observation in her novel Barbarın Kahkahası sums up the obsession with a woman’s virginity in honor cultures in a short sentence: “In order to preserve the manhood of men, Mary needs to be chaste.”83

      Among the behavioral codes that need to be respected by women in honor cultures are also rules regarding their decent appearance in public. These indicators of a girl’s or woman’s sexual purity, include “maintaining virginity before marriage, modesty, decorum in dress, and sexual purity in social relations – particularly with men” (Cihangir 3). Vandello and Cohen also claim that “honor cultures often establish norms where female chastity, purity, and modesty are valued” (998). Mayeda and Vijaykumar speak of “honor codes that minimize overstepping of sexual boundaries,” and sum up the the findings of several social scientists by stating that “women may be expected to dress modestly, not interact with male strangers, refrain from initiating separation from a male partner, and/or not leave domestic spaces without being accompanied by a male family member, particularly during evenings” (354). Comparing gender-specific honor codes, Vandello and Cohen conclude that “whereas the code dictates precedence and toughness for males, norms for females stress modesty, shame, and the avoidance of behaviors that might threaten the good name of the family (e.g., adultery or sexual immodesty)” (998). Peter Glick at al. share similar findings, highlighting that “being a ‘good man’ or a ‘good woman’ by enacting gender-traditional traits and roles becomes equated with being a moral, religious individual” (547), but also make it clear that the majority of social codes that need to be respected are meant for women and reinforce patriarchal values including female subordination: “Women maintain honor through obedience to men, sexual modesty, and religious piety” (Glick et al. 543). The expression “modesty,” a recurring one in the context of both social sciences and literary works, refers to the decent, appropriate behavior of women in public spaces, especially when men are around.

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      Ideally, women should not go out without male company, so that they can be immediately admonished in case they walk in a sexy way, laugh loudly on the street, or violate further honor-related codes in any other possible way. The focus here always lies on the “morally appropriate behavior of the female family members” (Caffaro et al. 297) since “the role of a woman is to maintain her man’s and family’s honour by behaving accordingly, regardless of whatever situation she is involved in (including rape and arranged or unhappy marriage)” (297). This limits a woman’s freedom and condemns her to a rather passive existence, as she is always trying to avoid the risk of losing her honor and thus bringing shame to her family.84

      According to Annie George, “subdued body language, dress, and demeanor” belong to the criteria of appropriate female conduct (37). Recep Doğan stresses that a “mere suspicion that their daughters, wives or sisters have defied the accepted social norms by behaving improperly will provide strong grounds for punishing or even killing them” (“Different” 367). Various male participants of this study claim that the “ideal honorable woman” must be “obedient and loyal,” “modest in behavior,” “not on the lips of men,” must “behave in a certain manner,” “not go out without permission from her husband,” “not let unrelated people enter her house,” be “honest,” respectful,” dignified” and “modest in her dress”; furthermore, she must not be “cheeky, or impertinent, or flirtatious.” An unmarried honorable woman should be “respectful, obedient, and modest in behavior and keeping virginity before marriage” (375). A dishonorable woman, however, is “sexually immodest, flirtatious, cheeky, or impertinent,” “adulterous,” not conforming to existing norms with regard to a woman’s “non-sexual behavior and social status,” “unfaithful,” “disrespectful,” “disobedient”; she “leaves the house without permission” or “tells a lie to her husband” (376). In another article, the same author includes interviews with some men who committed an honor killing, among the reasons for which the inappropriate ways the victims used to dress are also mentioned. Statements of different perpetrators such as “[My sister] used to wear a head scarf. But, I saw that she got her hair ←62 | 63→color changed, wore a colored contact lens, make-up and no head scarf” (8) or “[Our mum] wore décolleté clothes on her body or clothes through which you can see her body” (9) indeed show the violation of honor-related dress codes as one source of stained family honor in men’s opinion. Depending on the regions of a certain country, these norms in the respective honor cultures can be more or less strict.

      Sen points out that honor-related codes for women illustrating their decency include “modest sexual behaviour, fidelity in marriage, no pre-or extramarital relationships with men, no unchaperoned rendezvous with men outside the family,85 meeting motherly obligations to children, meeting wifely obligations to husband, meeting daughter’s obligation to parents, meeting daughter-in-law obligations to parents-in-law, and so on” (Sen 47). To make sure that their seductive characteristics are kept to a strict minimum, in various honor cultures men insist on their female relatives’ wearing a veil which covers their hair and sometimes also a part of their face. The notion of “modesty” that is included in the understanding of female honor dictates the covering up of certain body parts that might attract the attention of any men outside the family. Atiq Rahimi explains that “[i];n Afghan society there is the idea that if a woman’s ankle or her hair is visible then it is enticing. […] You have to be sexually obsessed to think that way. So yes, indeed, a woman is reduced to her sexual function” (Grey).

      The veil plays an important role with regard to a woman’s rather limited room for action both indoors and outdoors. Lama Abu-Odeh describes the link between moral purity and the veil as follows:

      To wear the veil was to be a virgin in fact. To wear the veil was to be spatially segregated from men, the walls of the separation now redefined as the boundaries of the veiled body itself. […] [W];hereas the traditional era expanded the hymen from the biological to the spatial, the Islamic condensed its signification to that of the physical. (“Honor” 950)

      The veil thus becomes the public proof and the symbol of a woman’s high morality, showing that she is concerned about protecting her own honor. If she does not correctly cover her hair, however, this indicator makes the men surrounding her assume that she might be willing to break other honor-related codes as well.

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      Comparing the aspect of gender discrimination in Orhan Pamuk’s novel Snow and Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns, Iis Sugianti speaks of the “prohibition and limitation of the role of women in the public area” (43). In a similar vein, Susan Taha Al-Karawi and Ida Baizura Bahar, while analyzing Leila Aboulela’s novel Minaret, give significant sociological insights into the importance of the veil, which serves as a crucial part of a woman’s clothing in many honor cultures: “[The veil] is positively associated with modesty, protection from unwanted male attention and desire, and liberation from the demands of consumerist capitalist economies and their investment in women’s bodies. It signifies security and agency, and functions as a means of mobility in the public sphere” (256). In many novels that deal with the controversial issue of female honor, wearing the veil in an inappropriate manner, not wearing it at all or any other inadequate behavior such as laughing loudly in public quickly turns into a source of honor loss. Only in the case of birth and death are women’s voices allowed to be loud, according to Kamel Daoud’s hints in his novel Zabor ou Les Psaumes: “Curieux renversement: les femmes deviennent visibles, audibles dans les ruelles, exubérantes comme faca à une concurrente (‘La mort est feminine, comme la naissance’)” (192).

      In Ayfer Tunç’s novel Kapak Kızı, Anahit is obviously aware of her immoral conduct when

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