LITMIR.BIZ

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      Yeah, she was trying to hug me.

      She began murmuring in her silky voice, “Please, please, please, my love … don’t be weird.”

      She let go of me and walked back toward the party. At the doorway, she stopped, two men shouted her name at the same time. She bent her knees and shook her ass, holding the sides of the door, then propelled herself forward and was dancing inside the strobe-light colors that were tearing holes into the room. Everyone danced like bodies being resurrected in gunfire. I licked the blood off my finger and told Janka to come dance with me.

      *

      So our pubic hair had begun to grow in enough to shave it off. Jana did like I asked her and stole her dad’s razor.

      We took turns with it in the bathroom, sliding the razor in and out over our cunts and all the way back to our assholes, and all around, pulling the lips out one by one to get it good. We wiped away the flecks of blood and looked at the curled black and brownish strands floating in the toilet bowl, then flushed and faced each other, with our underwear and jeans still down at our ankles.

      I ran my hand over my bald cunt and said, “Agnus Dei.” Like the Lamb of God, like they were teaching us, in the Book of Revelations: “Slain but standing.” That was my cunt’s name.

      Jana did like me and ran her fingers over hers and thought about it. I thought about it too. But we couldn’t think of a name for hers. I crouched down and looked at it head on to get some ideas, pulling apart her cunt’s lips with my fingers and having a good look around and then I saw it!

      “Woah!” I announced. “It’s the Jan boys in there!”

      “What?”

      “Jan Palach and Jan Zajíc, you know! The divine heretics, hello, our shooting stars, our punk meteors, our—” I plucked the air like an electric guitar and sang out, “Great balls of fire!”

      I reached out my hand and Jana helped me up.

      “Agnus Dei and the Jans,” I said. “That is, number one, a great title for the past and the future, and number two, an even greater band name, which is our cunts, Janka, jamming like—” I crunched my eyes and got the high notes of the air guitar, “like … hell no, hell nooo, Hell FUCKIN NOOOOOO …”

      “Agnus Dei and the Jans,” Jana repeated as she hit some air drums around her.

      Then we straightened up and took each other by the shoulders and leaned in close. Our jeans and everything were still bunched at our feet, it was just us, all bare, all shaved, just in our sweaters, me in my bright-red turtleneck and Janka in her blue-and-tan striped. I told her to close her eyes and I closed mine.

      “You see us?” I whispered. “We’re floating above, you see it?”

      “Yeah …” Jana whispered back. “Above … everything …”

      “Below us … everything’s in flames …”

      “Yeah. I see it.”

      “See our ugly apartment building there …?”

      “Yeah … there’s fire … in the windows …”

      “And our ugly school …”

      “The side just collapsed.”

      “And our ugly kolotoč in the park …”

      “The horse leather is broiling and the wooden bodies are splintering off their poles …”

      “And look!”

      “What?”

      “You see it?”

      “Yeah … I think so …”

      “The Vltava …”

      “The river …”

      “The water’s even on fire!”

      “And … the trees too!”

      “And the birds.”

      “And the gravel roads …”

      “And even us!”

      “Us?” Jana asked.

      “Yeah us … You see us?”

      “Sure … where are we?”

      “Look … There we are … I mean just our ugly bodies, that is …”

      “Yeah … our ugly bodies.”

      “They’re burning. You see that?”

      “There’s flames on my eyelashes—but it doesn’t hurt.”

      “We’re running across Wenceslas Square …”

      “And all our ugly limbs, like hands like shoulders like knees, and our ugly clothes, all on fire …”

      “There’re the benches … and the row of yellow taxis … and the saint on his horse in front of the National Museum … And there’re people all around us, stupid people, flocks, people and pigeons and cars honking. And the stupid police blowing their whistles …”

      “And we’re running across in flames …”

      “And the more we burn the higher we get! Look now: There’s our ugly city, and our ugly country, and our ugly world! … Even the stuff we thought was okay or even nice or really beautiful, it wasn’t, it’s not …”

      “It’s all the same. It’s all on fire.”

      “And now we’re just … finally … essential …”

      “And it feels good …”

      “It feels so good.”

      “Fuck off, ošklivý svět … ugly world, peace out. Agnus Dei and the Jans have risen, baby!”

      *

      When I opened my eyes, we were already kissing. Maybe we were doing that the whole time. Janka’s tongue was strong, I remember. I thought, wow, so that’s where she keeps all her strength then. I remember it, strong, in my mouth.

       Girls only

       0_hotgirlAmy_0 has joined the group <GIRLS ONLY>

      Dominxxika_N39: Hey hotgirlAmy, A/S/L?

      0_hotgirlAmy_0: 15/f/Milwaukee. U?

      Dominxxika_N39: 35/f/Prague.

      Dominxxika_N39: … too old?

      BabyBoi_whatup8: For real.

      0_hotgirlAmy_0: Whatev BB. It’s hot.

      Dominxxika_N39: *smile

       Dominxxika_N39 has left the group <GIRLS ONLY>

       Dominxxika_N39 has joined the group <GIRLS ONLY>

      Dominxxika_N39: Sorry hotgirlAmy! I sign off quick cuz I thought husband come home.

      0_hotgirlAmy_0: Oh …

      Dominxxika_N39: But its OK, is just bird outside who make noises.

      BabyBoi_whatup8: Ummmm Dominxxika, it’s GIRLS ONLY—If u not a dyke—GOODBYE>>>

      Sexy_Kimmie_: Not everyone here’s a dyke, btw, gross.

      69Beachgirl69: Seriously BabyBoi. Go back to the butch/femme chatroom.

      ~GlitterCrush~: F U Kimmie & Beachgirl. BabyBoi stay.

      BabyBoi_whatup8: Holla GlitterCrush.

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