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in the area that provided space and referrals, and with the help of an interpreter, Frank began a weekly meeting for men dealing with homosexuality. Unlike the LIA men, most Filipino men who came to Bagong Pag-Asa were married but engaging in homosexual behavior. In these sessions, Frank said he became aware that homosexuality was linked to deep cultural feelings of shame. He contended that the issues for men in Manila were similar to the men at LIA, but then conceded, “Certainly there's this different twist. The shame is greater. They don't even have words to talk about homosexuality. They have only dirty words, street words, because they don't talk about this.” The unremitting fear of divine retribution for participating in same-sex behavior rather than any hope for complete heterosexuality brought men to Frank's fledgling ministry. Frank also found that his ideas about the “gay lifestyle” were inapplicable in the context of Manila, where the men he encountered did not identify as gay. For many men who had never called themselves “gay” or attached an identity to their sexual behavior, Bagong Pag-Asa created an identity for them, giving the name “ex-gay” to what had only been a series of sexual practices.

      At the end of the three years, Anita returned to California because her son's partner was dying of AIDS-related illnesses, and she wanted to help care for him. Although she was working to establish an ex-gay ministry abroad, this did not create an obstacle for her in terms of supporting her son, Randy, through the last years of his lover's life. Frank had planned to come home, but Exodus sent one of its board members over to request that he remain in Manila another two years because the board felt Bagong Pag-Asa could not yet stand on its own feet. He reluctantly reached a compromise with them and stayed an additional year. When Frank finally left Manila, the residential part of Bagong Pag-Asa ended due to a lack of funding, but the ministry still exists under the leadership of Rene Gomez, a Filipino man who now attends Exodus's annual conference and events in the United States. In 2001 Frank and Anita returned for a ten-year reunion to see whether the ministry they planted had been able to endure (see below).

      Before leaving for Manila, Frank had officially turned Love in Action over to a former program member and house leader named John Smid.Smid, who bears an uncanny resemblance to the actor Jeff Goldblum, albeit with blond hair, had an air of severity, but LIA continued to thrive under his leadership. Frank had hoped to return to California for a year's sabbatical to rest and recuperate: “At that time I had had twenty-two years of ministry without a break and I was longing for some time off.” Then Frank planned to proceed to Hong Kong, where he had made some initial contacts through occasional visits to the Hong Kong branch of his Manila church. He was contemplating the establishment of another ministry there. His plans were foiled, however, when in mid-1994 an Open Door pastor phoned him with the news that John Smid had decided to relocate LIA to Memphis, Tennessee, where he had received a lucrative offer from a church to house the program. “At first I thought he was joking, so he had Mike Riley phone me to tell me it was really happening. It was quite a jolt.” Even though John Smid had the right to move the ministry because Frank had ceded control to him, Frank asked him to delay for one year so that the transition would be gradual and Frank could enjoy a year of sabbatical, but Smid felt he could not wait that long.

      The LIA residential program operated out of Frank's two apartment complex properties, and Frank lived on that source of revenue. When LIA moved, Frank lost his income from the program, making a sabbatical and work in Hong Kong impossible. Frank recalled, “It was a very traumatic time for me.” He described himself as “depleted, emotionally, physically and especially financially.” Frank returned to California in time to see about thirty people affiliated with LIA and Open Door Church pack up and move to Memphis. He defined this period as one of the lowest points in his life because the ministry was stripped bare of people and resources. Smid had taken everything, including cabinets from the walls. Joined by several carpenters from Church of the Open Door who worked without compensation, Anita and Frank were able to rebuild the properties that had been modified for group living and rent them over a period of several months. Frank said that because he had always been very responsible financially, it pained him to run up his credit cards and his equity loan. Hank arrived at New Hope during this transition period and quickly became Frank and Anita's right-hand man. Some of the people who had followed Smid to Memphis returned, and Frank officially renamed the ministry New Hope on January 1, 1995. After several false starts, Frank and Smid achieved a rapprochement, and Frank participated in the twenty-fifth anniversary of LIA in Memphis in 1998, even though most of the twenty-five years occurred under Frank's leadership in California. However, their relationship appeared strained, judging from my encounters with both of them. At the annual Exodus conference in 2000, LIA and New Hope held separate information sessions for men and women interested in a residential program. At the LIA session, Smid was defensive when someone asked how his ministry differed from New Hope. “We're a professional therapeutic program with staff and clients,” he replied. The only time I ever saw Frank evince stress and frustration in the entire time I knew him was when he mentioned this period of LIA/New Hope's history. Still, Frank invited John to fly out and join New Hope in their thirty years of ministry celebration in May 2003.

      Despite LIA's awkward move to Memphis, Open Door and New Hope have maintained a symbiotic relationship since the early 1970s due to Frank's long history with Pastor Mike. New Hope meant a steady stream of new congregants at Open Door, and the church provided spiritual support and refuge for the ex-gay men and women in the program. Beyond Open Door, New Hope's relationship with other churches has been tentative, and a central preoccupation of Frank's has always been the relationship of the ex-gay movement to conservative churches in general. After LIA moved to Memphis, Frank wanted to find another church to sponsor and build up the program, but he had difficulty locating one willing. Frank organized events in other churches, and he often brought in the men from the New Hope program to sing as a way to familiarize others with the ex-gay program. New Hope consistently had talented singers and musicians in the program—a former gospel singer, a concert violinist, a man who could play keyboards, drums, violin, and guitar, for example—and they were quite impressive as a musical group. However, some of the men privately griped about being on display at the church excursions. Curtis once commented after a church visit, “Hello. It's us, the ex-gay freaks, here for your entertainment.”

      Initially, conservative churches rather than gay organizations opposed the establishment of an ex-gay movement. Frank and Pastor Mike contacted church leaders during the 1970s, and none of them would have anything to do with Love in Action or Open Door. Frank remembers, “Initially, all our opposition came from the Christian community, rather than the gay community.…It will take the church about one hundred years to really understand what we're doing. I think we've made some inroads. But the gay community has made a lot more progress—in the past twenty years, they have almost captured the church.” Frank conveys a sense of feeling embattled, and he frequently complains about conservative churches' refusal to address homosexuality or sexual addiction. Frank worries that the “Open and Affirming” movement in liberal Protestant churches will make mainline churches gradually more sympathetic to gay and lesbian concerns. In the June 1976 LIA newsletter, Bob wrote about how the Santa Clara County council of churches was “institutionalizing sin” when it voted to admit the MCC of San Jose to membership. Frank and others at LIA feared that the culture at large would gradually accept MCCs, while the ex-gay movement would dwindle without institutional church support.

      Today, Church of the Open Door is dependent on New Hope for a large percentage of its membership. However, it sponsors other ministries, like a Christian village in Tanzania, a pregnancy resource center with a pro-life agenda, an alcohol and drug recovery program, and Gilead House, a home for single mothers. Mike Riley is now middle aged, and his offices are cluttered and slightly run down. The church lacks its own building and meets weekly in a community center near the main supermarket downtown. Pastor Mike acknowledges that a church so closely linked to an ex-gay ministry is a difficult calling, but he maintains that this is what God meant for him to do. “We would ask God, ‘Can we do something else?' We'd see other churches that were prospering more and think that this isn't fair. But God always said, If you want to do something different, go ahead; I won't be there with you.” He continued, “I'm not sure we'd exist without the ex-gay part. It's part of our destiny. Sometimes I ask myself, Why do we exist? We're a small church; we could just disband and send people to all the other churches. But we're one of the few churches in the world to do this.” Even though

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