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      choose your words

      Manners are all about communication, so put some thought into

      the words you use to express yourself.

      Those magic words people have been telling you about all your life

      really are sort of magic. Say “please” and people cooperate. Say “thank

      you” and get a smile. These words make everything a little easier and

      happier—both for others and for you.

      Other words are better avoided entirely. Junk words, for instance. Words

      that have nothing to do with the sense of a sentence can be, you know,

      like, so annoying, like, if you, like, use them constantly, you know? So don’t.

      Then there are all those lazy words—hmm, nah, eh, huh, yeah. We all

      use them, but overdo it and you’ll give the impression that you dragged

      yourself out of a deep sleep to have this conversation and wish you

      were still in bed.

      Lots of kids use put-downs when they’re kidding around with their

      friends. “So what?” “Who cares?” “Shut up.” Put-downs are supposed

      to be funny. Maybe. But a put-down always makes another person feel

      a bit dumber than she did before you said it. Put-downs sting—maybe

      a little, maybe a lot.

      Keep in mind that words that work with one kind of person

      might not work with another. For instance, you and a close

      friend may say “duh” just in fun. But if you use “duh” with a kid you

      don’t know well, it’s hurtful. And if you use it with an adult, it’s insulting.

      Swear words: You don’t need them. With

      hundreds of thousands of words to choose

      from in the English language, why use the ones

      that were designed to insult and offend people?

      Finally, pleasant words don’t count if the tone

      of your voice says something entirely differ-

      ent. Yell “I’m sorry,” and it means you’re not.

      respect

      It all boils down to respect.

      Your manners tell other people that you respect them. Your manners

      also say that you respect yourself.

      You’re strong and self-reliant—you don’t have to put yourself first.

      You’re in control. You’re poised. You know that offering respect to

      people who are older than you are and people in authority doesn’t

      take away from the respect you have for yourself.

      In fact, you know that the more respect you give, the more

      you get.

      In a world with a lot of selfishness, you choose kindness and honor.

      Who wouldn’t respect a person like that?

      let’s talk

      introductions

      It’s open house at your new school, and the place is packed. You spot

      a girl you knew in preschool, a boy from the pool, even your old babysit-

      ter. So many familiar faces! What do you do when you end up in the

      library with friends who don’t know each other? Introduce them.

      Say both names and get things started by offering a little information

      about each person. There are a few rules about how to do this, but if

      you forget the rules, it’s not the end of the world. The worst mistake is

      not to make the introduction at all.

      Address the older person first.

      Mr. Kander, I’d like

      to introduce my friend

      Freddy Ebb.

      Freddy,

      Mr. Kander

      works with my mom.

      Address a woman before a man.

      Lynn Fontanne,

      I’d like to introduce

      my swim coach, Al Lunt.

      Al, Lynn used to

      babysit

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