LITMIR.BIZ

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was frankly surprised. Indeed, I did not go into other people’s affairs until they themselves told or asked to help them.

      – About whom and what is it about?

      I asked impatiently.

      “Your Russian cellmate, cannibal!” Rola, prison concepts that you do not always adhere to, they nevertheless warn prisoners against mistakes.

      He meant that not everyone needs to sit at the same table, drink from the same mug or communicate.

      – She, along with an accomplice, killed and ate the corpse of a woman.

      My interlocutor continued by telephone. Lena at this time, was sitting opposite me, in her bunk, reading a book. Apparently she intuitively felt that they were talking about her, or my view of her betrayed me. If you looked at me from the side, then my eyes with every word he said would expand from what he heard. Lena put down the book, took a deep breath and regretted her eyes, waiting for me to finish the conversation on the phone.

      – I did not know how he feeds me.

      She began after I had finished the conversation and silently stared at her. Many sentences passed through me, with terrible crimes, but this has not happened yet. I thought that really it is necessary to be more careful with people, everything climbed into my head, and Lena continued to say:

      – From the knowledge that I killed a man, I was driven crazy, and I washed down, I wanted to be forgotten. I vaguely remember that all the drinking companions ran away over time, Lech fed me meat, and watered me with hawthorn (a chemical agent). How could one think that a person is capable of such. Lech again left to look for a drink, an hour later he comes back and says that children are looking for Arina, and that she needs to hide the corpse. He offered to cut the corpse and lower it into the ice hole of the river. We got drunk and went on a temporary hitch, where we dragged Arina’s corpse. And so, then I saw that there was no muscle part on the legs of the corpse. When Lech saw my amazement, he said, “What did you think, where did the meat come from?!” I vaguely remember what happened next. At night, we could not make an ice hole in the river, so parts of the body were hidden in snow and ice drifts. We were detained on the second day.

      Telling all this, she cried. My soul, I understood that Lena, a woman, washed up and clogged with life. But, the mind did not want to accept the recognition it heard. Full admission of guilt and sincere swaying, and she was assigned ten years in prison.

      All this crime was committed because of a phone worth one thousand rubles. Lena saved up this money for three months, from the sale of knitted things. Neighbor Arina, stole this phone from her. A day later, Lena found her with other drinkers, and she began to drink with them when she found out that Arina had sold the phone for alcohol. In the course of drinking alcohol, others began to persuade her that Arina should be punished for theft, and Lena, with a knife stab in her heart, killed her.

      DEATH HUSBAND

      My dear, from the words of my daughter I know that on the night after the announcement of my verdict, you had a heart attack and that you are in the hospital. This attack threw you completely, at first you lost your speech, then your kidneys refused. It hurt me because I became the cause of your attack, that I can’t be near you.

      Today is August 25, 2012, the fourth night I can’t reach my daughter, I feel that something happened. Finally, my daughter calls and tells me:

      – Mom breathe more air…

      Hearing these words, I already realized that you were dead. I silently hear my daughter, and tears flow down my face, I feel with my lips that the tears are as if salty, bitter.

      – Mom, Uncle Sanya is dead, buried today, you hold on…

      Oh Lord, how painful it is, everything is torn inside, for which it’s all to me that happens to my life. A few seconds before the chapters leaked, our whole life together. I was not so happy with anyone. It really was mutual, strong love. You told me that rarely on earth when people meet their half, it’s like among a lot of cut apples, half an apple found its half. Remember how we met, of course, remember. You told me this repeatedly. I was visiting friends, and now you come in, a tall, beautiful face, light brown hair below your shoulders, pulled in a ponytail with an elastic band. I thought, an elegant and handsome man, a White Guard officer uniform would suit him. For a moment, our eyes met. We were introduced to each other. In the course of the subsequent conversation, I asked you to take me to the country the next day. So our friendship began. You were always there, helping me when my mother was paralyzed, when my brother died. There were no signs of intimacy on your part, and you knew my boyfriends. I consulted with you which of them I should accept as husbands. Two years have passed since we met you. I remember your words:

      “You are in my mind, like the little bee May, Jeanne Dark and Nymph.” You are a very multifaceted person, not like Ira, my wife. She married me, ate fat for herself and on this stopped her development, she became not an interesting person. I am no longer drawn to her, we survived each other. I hope she understands this. Why torture each other’s life if there is no longer any relationship. She is still young, she can find someone for herself. And you, a husband for yourself, are not looking there. Than I am worse than others.

      So, you are married

      “Ah, you don’t see that I’m practically with you and your family, day and night?”

      Yes, indeed you practically lived with us, I could call you at any hour of the day, and you came to the rescue.

      – Do you have a passport with you?

      – Yes

      And we went to the traffic police, where you, without asking for my consent, re-registered the car for me.

      – This is my gift to you. Will you marry me when I divorce?

      – Yes

      This evening, we had the first sex, so began our life together.

      “I’m insanely happy.” God blessed me with such beauty. All the cells of my body, heart and brain are occupied by you. It seems to me that I will stop breathing without you.

      The fact that you left this world with experience for me does not leave me. Your mother, with a feeling of accusation, told me: “Tell her that all the time, until the last breath, he called her”

      My body and heart died, only consciousness lives on.

      BEGINNING MY WAY TO STARS

      Until the morning I cried. Wondered why all this happens to me? Why does God, if any, do this to me?

      Only now, I clearly remember when you told me that the bony came when the living birch broke. So, there are some unknown forces. Maybe there is God, or rather, the power that rules our life. Where to look for the answer?! In the Bible or in Buddhist Judas?

      Once I was interested in religions, even read the New Testaments – I found nothing interesting. Probably, you need to talk with a priest or a llama in order to find the answer. On Monday, I wrote two applications for a meeting with them. A few days later, Father Alexy came from the Orthodox Church, and the Buddhist Lama did not come at all. After several meetings and controversial conversations, I caught something, a weak and yet incomprehensible sensation. She later received Orthodox baptism, in the hope that my prayers from the Acts of the Holy Apostles of Chapter 12 will yield positive results.

      I caught an interesting thing that repeating prayer inspires, gives faith and hope. But to my inquiring mind, this was not enough.

      Earlier, while reading Jack Canfield’s book, Think and Grow Rich. Rules of success”, I did not solve the test. For some reason, right now I remembered this test. So, my dear Sanya, the answers of this test led me to the fact that my mission in this life is to help people. Surprisingly, as I remembered, the words of the Buryat Lama when I visited the Buddhist datsan in Ulan – Uda. He told me that I was born, in the

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