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Melt. Lisa Walker
Читать онлайн.Название Melt
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781922198334
Автор произведения Lisa Walker
Жанр Юмористическая проза
Издательство Ingram
For some reason this reminds me that I still haven’t heard back from Lucas Nilsson in Hobart about my latest spreadsheet. I flick him off a quick email.
Please respond at your soonest convenience to my latest breakdown. It is imperative that the production schedule is followed to the letter. If you foresee any difficulties the Work Breakdown Structure must be revised before Cougar departs for Antarctica.
I press ‘send’. That should get him moving. By now it is four am – only a couple of hours until I need to get up. I get into bed with the book and turn the pages.
Chapter Six
Igloo builders are in short supply
I wake only when sunlight falls on my face. It is 7.15. I’ve slept through my alarm. The book is open on my chest, but extreme project management will have to wait. My morning routine, that’s what I need to think about. Today’s project plan requires a quick edit. I pick up my laptop and work through the line items, pressing the delete button.
Project: Tuesday morning routine
Objective: Arrive at work on time, healthy, rested and ready for action
6.15: Wake up (exact wake time determined by ‘wake easy’ app to ensure optimal brain function)
6.15–6.25: Visualise day ahead (visualisation leads to peak performance)
6.25–6.55: Morning yoga (remember to stay in moment, breathe, relax)
6.55–7.15: Breakfast (home-made muesli with low-fat yoghurt, goji berries and chia seeds)
7.15–7.45: Wash and dress (outfit laid out the night before to facilitate this step)
7.45: Walk to Chatswood train station
7.58: Catch train to Town Hall (travel pass pre-purchased to prevent delay) On train: Check and respond to email, Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram (remember: one third respond, one third communicate, one third encourage)
8.27: Walk from Town Hall station to office
8.39: Arrive work, change shoes, brush hair
8.45: Work commences
Total time: 2 hours 30 minutes 1 hour 30 minutes
There – look at me, Adrian – extreme project managers are adaptable! I still haven’t made the muesli but I will move on to getting dressed and leaving for work. I have a production meeting at nine and a lot to do to get Cougar’s Antarctic trip on course.
As I slide Extreme Project Management back onto the shelf my eyes fall on Marley’s book. I should read it properly one day.
‘Hi, Summer,’ says Jacinta as I come in. She is wearing a polka-dot dress, like something my grandmother might have owned, but on her – and teamed with black Blundstone boots – it is hip. Her forehead creases as I come closer. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Fine thanks. Adrian and I have separated by mutual consent, so he can pursue his need for rock-climbing with Cougar Gale. This was a surprise as I’d already worked out which universities our children were going to, but I’m fine.’ I smile brightly. ‘Which room are we meeting in for In the Wild?’
‘Oh.’ Jacinta seems lost for words. ‘Room three. Can I get you a chai or something? A juice? Some wheatgrass? Are you sure you’re okay?’
‘Yes, I’m fine. If Cougar wants to rock-climb with a man who thinks the female body is a difficult engineering problem, who am I to stop her?’
Jacinta frowns. I’m over-sharing.
Maxine approaches the glass doors and I decide to move on. ‘Ha, ha,’ I add.
For some reason this does nothing to remove the frown from Jacinta’s face.
I’m the first to arrive at the meeting, which is good. I might have skipped most of my morning routine, but I’m on top of things. The Cone of Certainty is operating at an acceptable level.
I open my project plan and check through the details for Cougar’s Antarctic expedition. It’s only two days until she leaves and there are still a few loose ends.
Antarctic liaison: Australian Antarctic Division will supply scientific talent – Lucas Nilsson.
I snort and check my emails. He has replied: Looks fine, Lucas.
Looks fine? Has he even read it? There are five hundred and twenty actions in my spreadsheet. They can’t all look fine. A second email from him pops up: But you have to remember. This is Antarctica. It’s unpredictable.
Unpredictable? That is completely unacceptable. He needs to be told that’s not how television works. I grind my teeth, make a note to follow up by phone, and continue scrolling through my project plan.
Series storyboard: Script to be finalised by creative team headed by Dianne …
The rest of the production team straggle in.
Another email pops up: PS. Emailing at four am? Sleep is more important than spreadsheets.
Not to me it’s not, I reply.
Maxine’s arrival is heralded by the clack of her heels.
You will see, pops up in my inbox.
I delete Lucas’s email and sit up straight. I’ll deal with him later. Full focus is now required.
Taking her seat, Maxine looks towards Cougar’s chair. Her nostrils flare as she glances at her watch. ‘Give us a run-down on the financials will you, Damien? While we wait.’ She places her phone on the table with a bang. Maxine and Damien the financial controller are at the same level in the station hierarchy, but this is Maxine’s turf and she is asserting her command.
‘The good news,’ Damien says, ‘is we have extensive advertising bought up already for this series.’ Damien is relaxed, confident and full of himself. He presses a button on his laptop and a bar chart fills the screen on the wall. ‘You can see last season’s advertising.’ He picks up a small laser pointer and indicates the smaller bar. ‘And this season’s.’ He points at the larger bar. ‘I think it’s safe to say Cougar on Ice is going to exceed our projections.’
At the mention of Cougar, I grit my teeth, controlling my emotions. I imagine them as three lionesses called Anger, Hurt and Betrayal. At the moment they are well behaved, but that doesn’t make them any less dangerous. Down, girls.
‘What type of advertisers?’ says Maxine.
‘Two car companies, two airlines, white goods …’
Maxine fiddles with her phone.
‘We also have some interest in product placement,’ says Damien.
Maxine looks up at this. ‘What products?’
‘Tim Tams, Jimmy Choo, iPad, Baileys—’
Maxine’s phone rings. She snatches it up. ‘What? But? How long? That’s impossible. Where? Let me talk to her. Very well. As soon as possible.’ Beneath the blusher and foundation her face has paled. All eyes are on her as she puts the phone down. This is clearly bad news. ‘Cougar Gale has’ – she breathes deeply – ‘broken her ankle. While skateboarding down the ramp at