LITMIR.BIZ

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on this level of awareness generally try to just automatically avoid events that they sense to be unpleasant. Their reaction is, to a great extent, unconscious and unpremeditated. Many people go through life this way. And so they can, and get by - perhaps - depending on what category of people they are. People such as are in the support group, they being assailed in life so much more than average, need a more highly developed consciousness of what is happening to them in the kind of world in which they are compelled to live.

      So awareness, more complete awareness, is to be fully conscious of the influences, good and bad, other people are having on you, on your very being, and your response to these influences. It is to be not only fully conscious of, but to be able to discern and understand the influences of others upon you; to be able also to discern and understand their motives as they take their various attitudes toward you, friendly or otherwise, or as they try to either manipulate or befriend you; to be fully conscious of other peoples effects upon you. To be able to discern by keen observation of speech and action another persons motives is not an easy task but one that can be developed with time and experience.

      To have also honest understanding of one’s own motives, actions, and reactions, and coping methods, is another element of more complete awareness. All of these together are the things that bring awareness to its full fruition. Surprisingly few people master this trait.

      But for people such as us, it is a necessity, mused Collin. Then as he looked up and saw Albin Anders and Owen Winslow approaching from a distance, he thought again, yes Albin Anders will have to master this if he is ever to make the grade. How can we best help him? It is really something you grow into but first you have to be introduced to it by oneself, or by others, or by a combination of both. Yes, that’s how we can best help Albin, by continuing to introduce him to awareness, but for heaven’s sake don’t smother him. He has to do the growing himself.

      “Hello Collin,” said Owen and Albin, as they came and sat beside him. “Enjoying the tranquility before you face the problems of life once more?” quipped Owen.

      “Yes,” replied Collin, “just having a period of peace and meditation, before our session begins.”

      “Are you glad you have joined us in the group, Collin?” asked Owen.

      “Oh yes, I really am,” he replied. “If for no other reason than just to have the assurance and support of other people like myself.”

      Then Collin turned to Albin, “Your awareness is beginning to blossom more fully. Am I right on that?”

      “Yes, Collin, you are right, I am beginning to understand about awareness and about many other things many of which I am not sufficiently aware yet to discuss them intelligently, but it’s coming.”

      “Good,” continued Collin. “I would like to point out to you that as your awareness grows, so may the awesomeness and difficulty of the fuller life it opens up to you. But don’t ever let that despair you. As time passes, and you master the art of living in this new sphere, you will gain new confidence, and in years to come you will be able to look back at these more difficult growing years and smile. Will you remember that Albin? It’s like learning to swim. Once you have mastered it to a point, you are at ease in the water.”

      “I will remember,” responded Albin, as his boyish smile broke over his face. “It’s like swimming, difficult at first, then later you are buoyed up by the water and its much easier. I swim quite well Collin. Maybe I can do likewise in this realm of life.”

      Then Albin surprisingly took the initiative of the moment, looked at his watch, and remarked, “it is time to proceed to our group session. Perhaps we should go now.”

      “Sure, sure,” Owen and Collin responded, as all three got up to move toward Room 405.

      Great, thought Collin, as they walked down the hall towards the elevator. Albin is coming on good. He’s not afraid of us any more. He is even showing some initiative among us, although we are very much his senior age-wise. That’s a beginning for him. Just great!”

      They entered Room 405 to greet and be greeted by other group members and Dr. Eldren.

      “In my opinion Dr. Eldren,” said Collin as the time drew near to begin, “it will be good indeed to hear now from Donna, the other woman of our group. There might be an interesting comparison or contrast to Gilda’s experience. If you don’t mind my saying so.”

      “Not at all,” replied Dr. Eldren. “If Donna is agreeable to that and I think she is, it will be an excellent next move. What do you say, Donna?”

      “I’m willing, if you people can take it,” she responded, “but there will be quite a bit of contrast between my story and Gilda’s as we compare them. Basically though there will be likeness, I mean the same underlying problems.”

      Dr. Eldren was enthusiastic again this evening. “Sounds like it will be plenty helpful to hear your story also,” he said.

      Donna Coyne began to tell the story of her life as she had lived it thus far, and as she saw it now at twenty-eight years of age.

      “I wasn’t so fortunate as Gilda,” she began “in that I didn’t have a vivid contrast between my grade five and grade six, that would teach me at so young an age one of the main lessons of life for people such as us. Surveying my school years,” she continued, “I see now that from the beginning I was greatly affected both favorably and adversely by my teachers. Many of my teachers I remember affectionately. The remembrance of others still brings a cloud over my life.

      The earliest I remember now was in grade two where I had a teacher who put me down throughout the year. I am still not sure why, but it seems she was envious of me for some reason, so her attitude towards me was always negative. In her attitude towards the students of the class generally, I was always at the bottom of the ladder. It was an attitude only, and as in Gilda’s case, difficult to describe, but not impossible, I suppose. It was mostly her way of noticeably ignoring me while paying noticeable and friendly attention to the remainder of the class, sometimes some specific student in particular. I got through that class with only a minor sense of isolation, and no other particular harm done.

      Throughout the remainder of my schooling there were similar experiences with teachers, and students. The students that were of the same type as the obnoxious teachers did me considerable harm over the years as did the teachers. Since these students had some teachers as their example in this regard it sort of gave them license to be down on me too. It also caused them to be more numerous. The students of that type did affect me considerably. This was partially offset by my living in the sphere of my own friends as much as possible. However, when I consider now the overall effect of the teachers who were obnoxious in their attitudes towards me, and they by their poor example, in turn, leading some students to be down on me, I believe they affected my life a great deal. The goodness, and the kindness, even the affection of the good teachers was not able to overcome it.”

      Dr. Eldren interjected, “Donna, from Leo’s and Gilda’s stories we now have a good conception of what we mean by the attitudes of obnoxious teachers. Is your concept in that regard, the same as theirs.”

      “Oh yes,” she replied, “exactly.”

      “Perhaps then, Donna,” he added, “we can spare you the pain of relating in detail your experiences in school days. This will enable us to avoid being repetitious in relating experiences. If there are any further really different experiences, or outstanding events which would be of significance in making a particular point, we should hear these. Otherwise I think it would be sufficient now for you to describe to us the overall effect you believe your teachers had on you.”

      Collin added, “and then perhaps we could hear from her, in more detail, her experiences out in the business world where she has worked for the past several years. These would be very revealing too, I am sure.”

      “If you wish!” replied Dr. Eldren. “If it’s all right with Donna.”

      Donna smiled. “Collin must be reading my mind.”

      Leo was

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