LITMIR.BIZ

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      “Tony, I’ve been hearing a lot of rumors about people claiming they saw me in one place or another and sometimes two places at the same damned time. It’s all bullshit, Tony. I don’t even know how all this stuff got started. It’s crazy! Who told you it was me, huh?”

      “Oh hell, Charlie, it was Tommy Peterson. He said he was sure it was you and that he would never forget the woman you were with. C’mon Charlie, level with your old buddy. You got a new love in your life?”

      Charlie wondered whether to try to brazen this one out or simply confess. Tommy Peterson had been his next-door neighbor when they were kids. He definitely knew what Charlie looked like and would not have mistaken someone else for him. Besides, he had been at the Ritz-Carlton on Saturday and he had been there with Gina. And Gina was everything that Tommy said she was. He decided that it was too risky to try to deny. Tommy probably did see him. He decided to take the hit.

      “OK, Tony, you got me. Yeah, I was at the Ritz-Carlton Saturday. I was with a friend of mine.”

      “Yeah? Well based on what Tommy said that was some friend. He said nobody in this town ever saw anything like that except on a movie screen. Has she got a sister?”

      “Tony, you know Tommy. He probably exaggerated. I mean it was a good-looking girl I was with, but Tommy’s description sounds a bit over the top.”

      “Yeah, maybe so, but he did say that if he ever saw her again he would sure as hell know it was her. He said you don’t forget a woman like that! C’mon Charlie, what’s the score?”

      “No score, Tony. I was just out with a nice looking lady. Is that a sin?”

      “Hell no, Charlie, not for a good-lookin’ bachelor like you. It’s just that, well hell Charlie, you have become a kind of a game in this town.”

      Charlie felt a sudden discomfort. “Game, Tony? What kind of game have I become in this town? What’s going on, Tony?”

      “Aw hell, Charlie, you know. This town’s so goddamned boring that when you got divorced everybody figured after a couple of years you’d be married to some other local girl. Well, it never happened. Then you started disappearin’ on weekends. Everybody figures you’re pissed or embarrassed, right? Goes on for another year. Now all of a sudden nobody sees you around in Shoreville on weekends, right? You go to softball practice on Saturday morning and then you disappear. Soooo, all the wives get to talking. ‘Charlie’s never gonna get married again.’, ‘Didn’t Charlie like Evelyn Patterson? He never called her back after the Durkens invited them both to dinner.’ You know what I’m talking about, Charlie. You know the kind of trash people talk around here. All of a sudden the thing got blown out of proportion. People started betting…”

      “Betting?” Charlie almost shouted it. “Betting on what, Tony? Wait a minute. Let’s go down to Jimmy Balsamo’s place and have a drink. This sounds like a long and complicated story.”

      They walked down Broad Street to Jimmy Balsamo’s bar and restaurant and got a booth. Tony started his story.

      “It’s like this Charlie, you’re kind of a celebrity in Shoreville. At least people made you one. Hell, the last time anything exciting happened here was when Frankie Phillips tried to shoot off Tommy Porter’s prick because Tommy was screwing his wife. People talked about that for years.”

      “Yeah, I remember, but keep going, Tony. How did all this get started?”

      “It’s like I told you. Folks thought you would get married after a while. When you didn’t they tried to fix you up. When that didn’t work everybody kind of forgot about it for a while. You started disappearing on weekends and most people figured you had a gal stashed away. But then you still didn’t get married. Fact is, for a while people even forgot about you. But then one day, aw, I forget who it was, said they saw you coming out of an Italian restaurant in South Philly. They said you were with some really great looking broad. That started people talking again. Then there’s all those company affairs, art shows, concerts, you know, and you still show up alone and go home alone. You take off on weekends, and you still don’t show up with a woman.”

      “Well, so what, Tony? I mean it’s not like I have to, right? I mean, hell, everybody knows I’m normal. Everybody knows I’m not gay. What’s the big deal?”

      “If you lived in a bigger town, Charlie, it wouldn’t be a big deal at all. But this is Shoreville. You aren’t the most eligible, mature, good-looking bachelor in this town. You’re the only eligible, mature, good-looking bachelor in this town. See what I mean, Charlie? Every divorced woman, every unhappily married woman, and every woman with hot pants is talking about you. The thing just kind of snowballed. Hell, it even got to the point that Sharon Gallagher said she was going to follow you to Philly one of these days. I heard that she did but lost you around Chester. In fact, I think that’s how the drinking rumor got started.”

      “DRINKING rumor?! Tony, what the hell are you talking about?”

      “Well, I think it started with Sharon. When she lost you in Chester she figured you were doing something in Chester. What do you do in a town with nothing but docks and cheap bars? You drink, I guess. I guess Sharon just figured that was what you were doing there and you know how it is. Something starts along the chain as speculation and ends up as fact.”

      “Jeez, Tony, did you buy that story? How long have you known me?”

      “No, Charlie, I didn’t believe it and I even said so to people who asked me about it. I’ve known you since grammar school and drinking alone in sleazy bars is not your style. In fact, I don’t think you even drink much at all to be honest. But who the hell goes to Chester on a Saturday morning, Charlie?”

      “Who the hell cares, Tony?”

      “Yeah, I know, but don’t take it out on me, Charlie. I didn’t do anything, so help me. Like I said, you just started being a hot topic around town and then people started guessing about your life. It didn’t take much for gossip to become fact when some people started saying they saw you with a gal who looked like a movie star. I mean, that’s how peoples’ minds work in a town like this. People start living other people’s lives and building fantasies. You know that. Hell, you make good money, you live modestly so you probably have a big stash, you’re free, and you’re young and good-looking. Jeez, Charlie, are you surprised that you would be the subject of a lot of crap?”

      “Nah, I guess not, Tony, but please do me a favor.”

      “Yeah, what’s that?”

      “Next time you hear that kind of nonsense, just tell people that my life is none of their damned business. Will you do that for me, Tony? I don’t need this kind of stuff. There is nothing going on in my life that is worth all that conversation and speculation. I’m just a single guy, who was seen dating a good-looking woman in Philly. I’m not breaking any laws, not putting the make on anybody’s wife. I mean when you think about it, I am not doing anything at all unusual or weird, right? I’m just not discussing or showing off my private life to Shoreville! There’s no big secret out there, Tony.”

      “I’ve done that already, Charlie. But I’ll be glad to continue doing it. You’re right. Those women would do far better to just take care of their own business and not worry about yours. And some of the guys are no better. But you know that this town has no secrets and when people think you have some kind of secret life, they start getting nosey and stupid. It’s even worse when you are a well-to-do eligible bachelor in a small town.”

      “Yeah, OK Tony, I know what you mean. Just do what you can to try to put a stop to this shit, OK? It’s inconvenient as hell and it’s my private life that when you analyze it is nothing terribly special. So, if you hear anything else just ask whoever is talking to you why they give a damn about Charlie Mullins’ personal life. Just tell ‘em you’re my friend and you are sure I don’t like it.”

      “Will do, Charlie, how about one for the road?”

      “Fine Tony, and thanks!”

      They

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