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and try to move on.

      There was a difference in opinion as to the best way to do that. Clive, who admitted he got it wrong in selection and that he should have injected more experience into the team, packed us off to Surfer’s Paradise the following day, saying, ‘It’s not a question of being soft, it’s a question of doing the right thing. The players need a break.’ Mitch had a different take on it. He said that had he had his way the squad would have spent the day running round the paddock hitting tackle bags and being reminded of who they were representing. Sports medicine, he called it. He added that had he played in that match he would have been indoors hiding, not sunbathing on a beach. Most forwards and backs coaches don’t see eye to eye, to be honest, but it was a bit naughty of Mitch to talk out of school – if that’s not the pot calling the kettle black! While I agree with him that humiliation is not easy to accept, the fact is that some players had given their all. It wasn’t good enough, but they had still given everything.

      From that point on we pretty much shut ourselves away from the papers, as every Tom, Dick, Sheila and Bruce had something to say about us. England are everyone’s favourite enemy so there was no shortage of people to rub our noses in it. There were people all over the world absolutely loving it. But you’ve got to be bigger than that. It was humiliating, yet we took it on the chin, learned the lessons and came back better for the chastening experience. In fact, it turned out to be a huge turning point in England’s development; never again will there be such a weak England side. We have now developed from having one competitive fifteen to the point where England’s third XV would probably be better than the team that played against Australia that day.

      A week later we were in New Zealand, the Land of the Long White Cloud and, potentially, even longer nightmare, especially when first up, in rain-lashed Hamilton, was a New Zealand A team coached by Graham Henry and featuring one J. Lomu. But we really got stuck into them and restricted them to an 18–10 win. I wouldn’t say it was a moral victory for us, but it was definitely an improvement. And that’s the path we needed to follow. The pressure on us all was immense as the public and media were waiting for us to fall flat on our faces in the mud. To defend as we did deserved credit, and the forwards turned in an heroic performance in horrendous conditions. The Gloucester boys, who made up five of the pack, felt right at home. I was proud of the grit and determination shown by the team. ‘We can progress with this type of display,’ I told them afterwards.

      To then ship 50 points against the New Zealand Academy team three days later in Invercargill was devastating. It had quickly become clear which players were going to be involved in the Test team and which were not. In fact, the wheat was being separated from the chaff at an alarming rate. Some of the boys found it very hard, not just in terms of the physical pounding on the pitch but the relentlessness of playing and living rugby in a country where the game is king. With hindsight, the Academy fielded a pretty fair team: Daryl Gibson at full-back, Bruce Reihana and Doug Howlett on the wings, Pieta Alatini at centre, Byron Kelleher at scrum-half, and up front more future All Blacks in Greg Feek, Kees Meeuws and Reuben Thorne. By contrast, England’s team contained few players who would go on to have international futures. There’s the story.

      It may seem strange, but even at this low point no parallels can be drawn with the 2001 Lions in terms of failing squad morale. Talk to the boys of ‘98 who are still in the England squad and they will tell you it was one of the best tours they have ever been on. We had a magic time. The initial part in Australia wasn’t too hot, but in New Zealand we really gave it our all. Mitch did get stuck into us and Phil Larder made us do some mindless tackling drills, but we worked hard and played hard.

      By the time we arrived in Dunedin for the first Test on 20 June I could sense which of the players were not up to it and which were resigned to being a little bit out of their depth. Yet, as I said, the other side of the coin was that people were really rising to the challenge. For the weekend games, one forward after another was saying, ‘I might not be a Lawrence Dallaglio or a Martin Johnson, but I’m going to give it my all.’ To do that going backwards is proof positive that attitude was not a problem.

      As captain, I had to decide how best to spend my time. Should I spend it encouraging individuals who were not going to be making an impact on the team in the very short term, or should I concentrate on the top 25 players and really build competition for places? It was a difficult balance to strike. For the most part I played a pastoral role, picking people up, lifting heads, boosting confidence. But there were some players we needed to get right on board because they were going to be an integral part of the Test team. Austin Healey, for instance, will go down as one of England’s great players, but at the time he wasn’t performing and he needed bringing on board.

      We lost that opening Test to New Zealand by a record score and margin, but the 64–22 scoreline doesn’t begin to reflect the way we played. The forwards were nothing short of heroic, especially after Danny Grewcock was sent off on the half-hour, supposedly for kicking hooker Anton Oliver. Danny’s dismissal was significant, as were the double standards preached by All Blacks coach John Hart, which sickened me. On the one hand, Danny got his marching orders for an alleged kicking offence for which there was no clear television evidence; on the other, All Black lock Ian Jones escaped punishment for blatantly stamping on the face of Graham Rowntree at a ruck, his studs getting caught in Wiggy’s headguard as he tried to withdraw his boot. At the dinner afterwards I made a speech which went down like a lead balloon. I said I thought it was fairly poor that New Zealanders were going on at us about discipline. It was unfortunate that Danny had been sent off, I continued, before adding, ‘Unfortunately, there should have been another second row sent off, shouldn’t there?’

      I don’t retract that remark because the situation was farcical – as Mick Cleary put it in the Daily Telegraph, a ‘staggering betrayal of fair play’. Playing in New Zealand is like being a visiting team at Old Trafford. You never get a decision in the Manchester United box, but if Ruud Van Nistelrooy goes down you know he’s more than likely to get a penalty. There seems to be an angelic aura around the All Blacks, one that allows them to get away with committing the same offences again and again without getting penalized. It is so frustrating for the teams playing them. Everyone in New Zealand thinks that England players slow the game and wind scrums and delay passes. Try using the other eye.

      The following day a disciplinary committee – two New Zealanders and an Australian – handed Danny a five-week ban and rejected the allegation of foul play against Ian Jones after the referee, Wayne Erickson of Australia, was shown the video and stated that he ‘would not have imposed a penalty for what he considered to be legitimate rucking as opposed to trampling’. But Ian Jones could clearly be seen rucking on Graham’s face. How can we condone this in the rugby world? Because of the way the tour in general, and the weekend in particular, was going, we just knew that nothing was going to come of it, though that did not prevent the RFU from later lodging a formal protest.

      It was an even more difficult time for Clive Woodward, as on the morning of the match he’d received news that his father had died. He was under a lot of stress at work, and then, with him on the other side of the world, comes the most appalling news about his father. To his immense credit he didn’t let it affect the side, and he left soon after the final whistle to concentrate on what he needed to do at home. Coincidentally, one of my close friends – Mick Owen, my managing director when I worked at Firm Security in Northampton – had been diagnosed with cancer only days earlier, and Clive was aware of that, so he knew I had a rough idea how he was feeling. Both of us were very sensitive with each other as we parted, wishing each other well.

      By the time Clive’s plane headed skywards he was angry as well as upset over what we all saw as the childish carry-on in and around the players’ tunnel by John Hart, and his attempts to distract and intimidate the referee. Hart claims he spoke to Erickson in the tunnel at half-time only out of concern for the safety of the scrummage in light of Danny’s red card; he didn’t, he said, want to be responsible for an injury occurring. But Erickson said he considered Hart’s approach ‘inappropriate’.

      The hostility did not end there. Later that evening Richard Cockerill was involved in a brawl with New Zealand hooker Norm Hewitt. In true captain’s form I knew as much about the spat as anybody else – bugger all. I only caught

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