LITMIR.BIZ

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on to study for a degree in psychology. After my first year at university I went to Thailand with two friends, Hannah and Niki. Thailand was a turning point for me in many ways. It was the first time I had done something that felt really independent of my parents, because when I was depressed I had been too scared to ever stray far from home. It was also a time that I began to get used to my self-harm scars and come to terms with showing them in general public. In England I always wore long-sleeved tops, even in the summer, because I felt paranoid about people looking at me. It was so hot and humid in Thailand that I couldn’t bear long-sleeved tops and so I wore T-shirts. I realised that people didn’t stare as much as I thought they would, and I became much less self-conscious.

      It was on this trip to Thailand that I first encountered a tuk tuk. Tuk tuks are to Bangkok what black cabs are to London, and they are definitely the most exciting way to explore the city. We had hired a tuk tuk for the day and gone whizzing around the sites of central Bangkok. At the end of the day the driver let me sit in the front seat and pose for a photo with my friends in the back. It was as we walked down the Khao San Road later that evening that I decided I would one day drive a tuk tuk back to England. Simple as that.

      During the next few years while I was at university, the tuk tuk idea never left my imagination. I purchased an old motorbike to try and learn some mechanics and printed out hundreds of pages of information off the Internet about the different countries through which I wanted to drive. It was a dream that I was determined to make a reality, but the problem was finding a large enough period of time in which to organise everything and actually do it.

      I couldn’t think of anyone I wanted to do the trip with other than Ants. We had always planned to go on a gap year together, but because of my problems it had not been possible. I was thrilled when she eventually agreed, because at last we would fulfil our dreams of travelling together.

      In January 2006, Ants and I started planning for the trip full time. We were sitting in my parents’ front room and just thought ‘Where the hell do we start?’ Although I had first thought of driving back to England in a tuk tuk nearly four years ago, the logistics of an adventure like this were mind-boggling. We had so much to organise, and it was hard to know where to begin. Although we were both seasoned independent travellers, we had absolutely no experience of planning a huge overland trip. The next few months turned out to be an incredibly steep learning curve.

      We knew that we wanted to do the trip for charity and, after much discussion, we decided to support Mind, the leading mental health charity in England and Wales. It wasn’t too difficult a choice as we both had obvious personal reasons for supporting it. During one of my hospital admissions a representative from Mind gave me a leaflet on depression, which really helped me. It was before the Internet was widely available, and I didn’t know much about depression. Reading the leaflet gave me more of an understanding about my illness and provided me with hope and inspiration that one day I would get better.

      Our first experience of driving a tuk tuk was on a freezing day in a field in North Norfolk. We had tracked down a company in Thailand called Expertise, which was prepared to build us a tuk tuk for our adventure. Expertise also had previous experience of producing tuk tuks that could survive long overland journeys. By a strange coincidence, the guy that imported tuk tuks from Expertise to the UK, Scott, lived just a few miles away from Ants in Norfolk. Scott very kindly let us do a photo shoot with his tuk tuk and take it for a spin. Although we were in a huge field, Ants nearly managed to drive the tuk tuk into a ditch at the edge of the field. We worried that if we couldn’t drive a tuk tuk around a field safely, how on earth were we going to drive one back from Thailand?

      

Ting Tong

      In January 2006 Ting Tong wasn’t even a glint in her daddy’s eye, and yet only eight months later she had successfully traversed a small handful of continents and sped into the record books. In the 14 weeks it took to drive from Bangkok to Brighton, she overcame terrains that would make even the most hardened 4×4 turn a funny shade of green: man-sized potholes, quagmires, desert, steep mountains—you name it, she conquered it. She may be pink, she may be a girl, but don’t be fooled—this is one tough tuk tuk.

      Ting Tong was born at the Expertise factory in Bangboo, a small village 20 miles from the centre of Bangkok. It’s here that her lord and creator Anuwat Yuteeraprapa, the scion of an eminent tukking dynasty, has been building tuk tuks for four years. Anuwat’s family has been in the tukking business for the past 40 years, and today he is Bangkok’s undisputed three-wheeler king. Anuwat’s tuk tuks are no ordinary tuk tuks. Not for them the polluted streets of Bangkok and a lifetime ferrying tourists between the Grand Palace and the Khao San Road. Each model is lovingly hand-built and the majority are exported to discerning customers in America, Japan and Europe. These are the crème de la crème.

      Jo made contact with Anuwat for the first time in January 2006. She’d heard of his mastery via the Internet and knew that he was the man for the job. Whether he would agree to get involved was another matter. First, we were total strangers calling from the other side of the word—were we timewasters or the real deal? Second, building a tuk tuk for such a long journey meant a lot more work for him and his mechanics. He should know: only the year before, Expertise had built a tuk tuk for a German couple, Daniel and Susi. They had driven their tuk tuk 23 000 miles back to Germany, via Japan, Mongolia and Libya. Even though Anuwat’s tuk tuks were already a cut above the rest, the experience had taught him that for one to make it this far it had to be custom-built to supersonic perfection. It would need to have a stronger chassis, raised suspension, a special long-range fuel tank, roll-bars, extra lights and special wiring and fuses. He already had a full quota of orders for the year; saying yes to Jo would put a lot of pressure on his factory. But Anuwat is never one to turn down a challenge, and at the beginning of February work began on what would become the most perfect tuk tuk the world has ever seen.

      Meanwhile we pondered over a name for our chariot. Barbarella was mooted, but rejected by Jo on the grounds that she had no idea who Barbarella was. Then, inspired by watching too many episodes of Little Britain, I hit upon Ting Tong, the Thai bride played by Matt Lucas. It was perfect. Not only did it have the right ethnic origins, but also Ting Tong and tuk tuk share the same initials. Ting Tong it was.

      Over the next three and a half months, six experts would work on bringing Ting Tong to life—Anuwat, his wife Dow, and mechanics Thart, Thung, Doung and Karm. The fact that it would be two girls driving this tuk tuk back to England spurred them on to even greater perfection. The steel chassis was reinforced, a 550-cc Daihatsu engine flown in from Japan, the suspension raised by 15 cm to give it extra clearance and roll-bars added at the sides. As Ting Tong began to take shape, her creators turned their attention to the details. More lights were added for increased visibility, special seats were ordered and, most crucially, her body parts were painted a perfect shade of pink. There was no chance this tuk tuk was going to get lost in the crowd.

      Ting Tong’s creation went (almost) seamlessly, and on Thursday 25 May 2006 Jo tuk to the wheel and drove her out of the Expertise factory for the first time. The pinkest, sleekest, hottest three-wheeler in history was ready to be unveiled to the world.

       Ting Tong’s vital statistics

      Engine: four-stroke, water-cooled 550-cc Daihatsu

      Fuel: unleaded petrol

      Fuel tank: 50-litre capacity

      Gears: five forward, one reverse

      Cylinders: three

      Wheels: three, with 12-inch rubber tyres

      Colour: pink

      Top speed: 70 mph

      Electrical system: 12 volts

      Braking system: 11-inch front disc brake, rear drum brakes

       Planned

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