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All this technology is beyond me. Basically our BGAN means we can hook up to the net anywhere, as long as the unit can ‘see the sky’ and talk to the nearest available satellite. And to think that a few years ago I could hardly send an email.

      Neither of us has really started packing properly and there is equipment strewn all over the house—GPS units, the BGAN, DV tapes, cameras, water filters, maps, guide books (I think we need a special bookshelf in Ting Tong to accommodate our fleet of weighty travel tomes), insect repellent,WD40, Ultraseal, solar panels…it’s amazing all the weird and wonderful things we have to take with us. Luckily, Jo’s pa Bob is coming to see us off in Bangers so we can give him some of our equipment and thus avoid being stung for excess baggage.

      Wednesday was possibly the maddest day of my life—here’s how it went:

7 a.m. Drag ourselves out of bed. Jo and I are both rubbish in the mornings.
7.30 a.m. Live interview with BBC Southern Counties Radio.
8 a.m. BBC breakfast reporter and cameraman rock up to do a piece on us and Skype for the news.
10.30 a.m. Meet Colin Cameron from the Financial Times for an interview. He’s doing a piece in the November How to Spend It magazine on ‘adventure philanthropists’.
12 p.m. Haircut. Essential!
5.30 p.m. Get to the Cobden Club for our Skype Press launch. Jo’s forgotten to wear a bra and they want us to wear white Skype T-shirts.
6 p.m. Press launch.
8 p.m. Our Tuk Off launch party starts.
2 a.m. Bed…yawn!

      I’m still feeling grotty and have a filthy cold, which is not ideal.

      Thanks again to everyone who has helped us so far. You’re all amazing, and none of this would have been possible without you.

       Chapter 2 Lift Off

      

Tuesday 23 May, Sawasdee Hotel, Bangkok, Thailand

      

Sawasdee ka from Bangkok

      We arrived in Thailand on Sunday and it is all starting to feel a little bit more real, like we are actually going to drive home in a tuk tuk after all. It was quite sad saying goodbye to Mum and my brother Nick, because I knew I wouldn’t see them for over three months and I love my family so much. Dad took us to the airport and I wasn’t sad to say goodbye to him—not because I don’t love him to death, but because he will be joining us in Bangkok in a few days.

      Ants and I both had insomnia on the plane and I had really bad restless legs, which in the confines of cattle class is no fun. I purloined a selection of pillows and blankets and made myself a bed by the emergency exit. I had just settled down comfortably when a stewardess politely told me that I had to return to my seat. Instead, Ants suggested a novel form of sedative and after a few shots of Night Nurse we slept like babies for the rest of the flight.

      We’d arranged to meet Anuwat at the airport and after a few phone calls found him outside having a cigarette. He and his wife Dow then drove us to our hotel and I started to feel seriously excited that we were in Bangkok. The bright lights, sounds and smells of Thailand welcomed us and there were tuk tuks everywhere.

      The following morning we met Stuart from Travelfish, one of our sponsors. He spent a few hours with us to do an interview and take photos for his website. Anuwat picked us all up from the hotel and we drove to his factory to meet Ting Tong for the first time. We were both feeling full of nervous anticipation. When we first saw Ting Tong it was a bit of an ‘Oh shit!’ moment, because she had no wiring, no seats and no roof and we had assumed that she would be totally finished when we arrived. However, she is bright pink and absolutely beautiful and we have both fallen madly in love with her.

      My friend Hannah is out here at the moment and we met up with her, her boyfriend André and her friend Jess on the Khao San Road. For those of you who have not been to Thailand, the Khao San Road is the traveller’s ghetto in Bangkok, full of tourists, bars, restaurants, stalls and flashing neon lights. I think you either love it or hate it. It was quite fitting though, because I was with Hannah four years ago when I first came up with the idea of driving a tuk tuk back to England, and now here we are about to turn my crazy dream into reality.

      We have got so much to sort out this week, and I still have no idea about tuk tuk mechanics. Anuwat is going to give me a couple of lessons in his factory later this week. God, I hope I pick it up quickly. It is really weird not being here as regular tourists, staying on the Khao San Road and going out partying every night. We’ve got too much on our plates to be doing any of that.

      One of our big decisions at the moment is deciding where we want to start our adventure. Possibilities so far include the Khao San Road, the British embassy,Anuwat’s factory and Pattaya, a resort over 50 miles away. I think the Khao San Road would be a fun place to begin, but it’s really hectic and therefore may not be the best bet. We really ought to start from Bangkok, but then we would have to drive out of the city and neither of us has even driven TT yet. The traffic here is mental and the driving bordering on suicidal.

      Poor Ants is feeling ill at the moment. She had a cold before we left home and now seems to have a nasty virus that is making her feverish. I hope that she feels better soon, because we are leaving in a few days…aaaagh!

      

Wednesday 24 May, Sawasdee Hotel, Bangkok, Thailand

      

The true meaning of Ting Tong

      So much to write and so little time. It’s 10 p.m. and Jo and I have just got in after another hectic day in Bangkok. I want to write a megablog but I also need to lie down and chill out…so I’ll just include the highlights of today.

      Today we had a very amusing lunch with Jim Short, the political secretary at the British embassy. Poor Jim was subjected to Jo’s usual barrage of questions—How old are you? How long have you been here? Where is your wife from? Do you earn much? What size are your shoes? But he still managed to be a paragon of charm and British cynicism. Thanks, Jim, for your words of wisdom and amazing tolerance to the Spanish Inquisition.

      Having had lunch with Jim, we eventually got in touch with Mrs Fall, the wife of British ambassador, David Fall. Mrs Fall and her husband have very kindly agreed to let the tukathon begin at the embassy on Sunday morning and Nuttanee, their press officer, is going to rustle up some press interest. We hope some of the Thai press people will have nothing better to do than wave off a pair of Ting Tong farangs (foreigners) in a pink tuk tuk.

      Which leads me to my next point: we’ve discovered that Ting Tong in fact means ‘crazy’ or ‘nuts’ in Thai. Although we were careful to ascertain that it didn’t mean some vile Mandarin obscenity, we omitted to check its Thai meaning. Oh well, it seems quite fitting really. Although, when our tuk tuk driver last night laughed, and exclaimed ‘Ting tong!’ while gesturing

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