Secret Child - Andrew Crofts

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regaling her with tales of the city and the wonders of fine restaurants, shops and theatres, as if hoping to tempt her to follow his example. Sometimes he would enclose money to help see them through the week. Cathleen devoured every detail that he wrote and talked often to her mother about following Christie to Dublin.

      But her mother was always adamant. ‘No, no, Cathleen, it wouldn’t be right for a respectable single woman to live and work in Dublin. Your father would never have allowed it. You need to find a nice local man, like everyone else, and settle down here. You have no shortage of admirers and you know that.’

      She did indeed know that, being proud of her long blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but none of the men who had shown an interest had been able to offer her the sort of life that she wanted. All they had to offer was more of the same. Then, in the late summer, she received an extra letter from Christie, addressed specifically to her.

      Dear Cathleen,

      Just a short letter to say I have a good friend who works in the Four Courts Hotel in the city centre. There is a job going for a chambermaid. The position comes with accommodation. You will need to come to Dublin next Thursday for an interview if you are interested. Take a chance …

      All my love

      Christie

      Cathleen felt her heart rate quicken at the thought of finally taking such a plunge into the unknown. Having Christie already living in the city meant that she wouldn’t be completely alone, but it was still a giant step, and she knew exactly what her mother’s reaction would be. She decided there was no point in telling her at this stage, since she might not even get the job and would then have worried her mother unnecessarily. So, for the first time in her life, she concocted a lie.

      ‘Do you remember my friend, Mary?’ she asked her mother casually that evening.

      ‘Which Mary would that be then?’ her mother asked.

      ‘Oh, you remember,’ she swept on, avoiding catching her mother’s eyes in case she gave herself away. ‘She’s asked me to help her move house on Thursday, so I’ll be taking the day off from work.’

      She quickly changed the subject and spent the following few days rehearsing all the answers she would give to the questions that might come up at the job interview.

      Although Lucan was less than fifteen kilometres from the centre of Dublin, it was a full day’s walk along winding roads for most of the villagers, who couldn’t afford to buy tickets on the bus or the train. With increasing excitement and a feeling that everything in her life was about to change, Cathleen bought herself a return ticket on the bus and made sure her best clothes were clean and pressed.

      The Four Courts Hotel, which was attached to the city’s court main buildings beside the mighty River Liffey, was the largest and best business hotel in Dublin. The grandeur of the old buildings took her breath away as she walked back and forth in the street outside until it was time to go in for her interview. She was committed now, and as good as a million miles away from everything that she was familiar with.

      When the hotel manager looked up from his desk and was confronted with an attractive, personable 29-year-old woman with a dazzling smile, he didn’t take long to make up his mind to offer her a job. Cathleen was considerably more mature and self-assured than the sort of girls who normally responded to advertisements for chambermaids.

      ‘Can you start in a week?’ he asked after a few formal questions.

      ‘I can,’ she heard herself reply, hardly able to believe that she had made such a momentous decision so quickly, and suddenly nervous about how she would break the news to her mother that not only was she moving to Dublin, but that she had also lied to her about what she was up to that day.

      ‘Then I would be delighted to offer you the job,’ the manager said.

      As she walked out of the hotel Cathleen wanted to shout for joy. Despite her reservations about defying her mother, she felt she had suddenly been released from her past. It was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders and all the opportunities of the wider world had opened up to her. The decision to leave home had been made, and now all she had to do was go through with it. As she walked along the bustling streets, filled with prosperous, busy-looking people, she knew that she would never be able to go back to living in countryside, working in the same shop, marrying one of the men she had known all her life and bearing his children – ending up exactly like her poor mother.

      Eager to share her excitement and in no hurry to go home, she met up with Christie, who was as overjoyed as she was at the thought of having his beloved little sister joining him in the big city.

      ‘How are you going to tell Mammy?’ Christie asked, once the initial euphoria had worn off.

      ‘Lord knows, Christie,’ she said,’ she’s never going to be happy about it.’

      ‘You mustn’t let her talk you out of it,’ he said, ‘otherwise you will never escape. There’s a lot more to life than Lucan, Cathleen. This is a rare opportunity.’

      ‘I know that,’ she said, squeezing his hand, grateful to him for his support and understanding.’ Don’t worry. I won’t let you down. I’m grateful to you for making me do this.’

      She had every intention of confessing the whole story to her mother the following morning, but somehow there was never an appropriate moment, so she decided to wait till the next day, promising herself that she would sit her mother down and break the news gently. All the time she was practising how she would phrase it in order to make it sound like good news rather than bad. There would be the money that she would be able to send home for one thing, and better chances of meeting a good man in a big city. She found it increasingly hard to look her mother in the eyes and was obviously not behaving like herself.

      ‘Is there something the matter, Cathleen?’ her mother asked several times.

      ‘No, Mammy,’ she assured her, ‘there’s nothing the matter. Why should there be?’

      She could tell that her mother was not convinced. Another day passed and she told herself that she really was going to have to come clean the next day.

      ‘Mammy,’ she said, when the moment finally arrived, ‘there’s something I need to tell you.’

      ‘What would that be, Cathleen?’ her mother asked, with a look in her eye which suggested she had been expecting something like this.

      ‘I’ve got myself a job in Dublin,’ Cathleen spoke quickly, as if jumping into cold water and wanting to get the shock over with quickly, ‘starting next week.’

      ‘What sort of job would that be?’

      ‘In a hotel.’

      ‘Oh no, Cathleen. If your father was alive today he would not allow such a thing to happen. You don’t want to be going to a city all on your own. It’s too dangerous. You wouldn’t know a soul apart from Christie. Get that silly idea out of your head right now.’

      ‘But it will mean that I will be able to send you more money,’ Cathleen said. ‘I’ll be earning double what I earn in the shop.’

      ‘You don’t need to be doing a thing like that. We’ll get by, just like we always do.’

      ‘Mammy, this is my big chance to better myself. I’m not getting any younger and I have to do more with my life than just stay in the village. I want to be independent. I’ve never asked you for anything before, but I am asking this of you now. Let me work in Dublin. If things don’t work out I promise to come straight back home.’

      Her mother fell silent. She knew her daughter well enough to know that she would not have taken such a decision lightly. The thought of losing her hurt terribly but she understood why she wanted to go. Deep inside she had known that this day would eventually come, and at least Christie would be in the city to watch over his little sister.

      ‘I can see you’ve made your mind up,’ she said eventually, ‘and I don’t want to be keeping

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