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find that it is the simple day-to-day experiences that bring me sensory gifts – from the sound of the rain to the mist in my garden, anything that is beautiful can massage my senses back to life, even when I’m feeling tired. In the same way, when you are not feeling tuned-in or at home with yourself, it can be revitalising to remember your sensitive experiences. You can also practice the Centring exercise (see page 32) to help ground you when life feels frenetic. It’s important to understand that developing your sensitivity can mean being more sensitive to your own needs as well as those of others.

      My sensitivity gives me information about other people. I try not to judge what I sense; I simply register it for what it is – information. As well as listening to Spirit, I pick up information from a person’s emotional body, or energy – we all do this, and usually call it ‘instinct’. More precisely, this is soul knowledge at work, with one soul picking up information from another without conscious awareness. It explains why we may take an instant like or dislike to someone. In a positive sense, we often express this as ‘love at first sight’.

      I usually sense passionate emotion visually and vibrationally. When I am in a room with someone who is angry for example, I experience their emotions as shards of glass pricking my body, and sometimes I’ll see intense colour around them. If I encounter someone who has just had an argument, their energy feels spiky. Sadness always feels heavy, and looks grey. And if someone unconsciously enjoys being a depressive, you can feel them for a long time after you’ve been in their company. They stay connected to you out of their own need – unknowingly, they have become energy leeches. In the past I have experienced this simply by thinking about them and feeling my energy levels drop. So, honing your senses can help you tell the difference between someone who is habitually down, and a person who is reacting to difficult circumstances. In this way, you can take note of those whose energy is invigorating, and enjoy the stimulation of their company and, where necessary, distance yourself from those who drain you.

      Second sight

      ‘Second sight’ is often used to describe the abilities of psychics and mediums, but taken literally it explains how you can first experience a visual connection with Spirit – by using your secondary awareness. I believe that when your focus is distracted elsewhere, Spirit come in through the corner of your eye. What you see through your peripheral vision is often Spirit getting your attention, not just a trick of the light.

      Those in spirit don’t want to frighten you and so they will only communicate with you in a way that feels natural, rather than disturbing. If you are unused to seeing Spirit, imagine how you would feel if suddenly you saw an apparition standing right in front of you! The reality could be shocking. Because I am accustomed to seeing Spirit, or my spirit guides, they will appear to me in any way they choose. I have seen people in spirit directly before me, just as if I was in the room with a friend. From the corner of my eye, I have seen images above and below a person and, in some cases, superimposed over them. On one occasion, I mistook a spirit image for the person in the room, and only realised this was the case when the appearance of my client altered before my eyes – the form of the person in spirit would look as solid as my living client, but when the spirit began talking, their form would start to fade. I asked these spirits not to manifest, not only because it confused me, but because they would use up all their energy in remembering their physical bodies. I asked: ‘Look, if manifesting takes up too much of your energy, just give me a sense of your character, let me hear you and feel you.’ Consequently, fewer spirits manifest during a reading. Those that do not manifest are able to stay with me longer during a reading. I can still talk to them – I can even tell if they are pulling a face – because I can feel it, and I can describe their appearance, because I have learned to see without seeing.

      So how do you start ‘seeing?’ It can begin with the sense that someone is standing next to you. Commonly, this can happen when you’re engaged in conversation with someone else. Sometimes you may feel that someone was standing there, but had moved away just seconds before. This is Spirit making their presence known in a gentle way. It is never their intention to scare you or harm you, as this would cause you to retreat rather than become more open to communication.

      When I think about Spirit around me, I believe that Spirit stands as an invisible presence on the edge of our senses. When you accept Spirit at your side, subtle visual contact often follows. And when you come around to the idea, Spirit literally comes around to you, moving from the edge of your vision to the foreground. Spirit will only communicate in a way that is comfortable for you. When you are ready, the messages will become stronger – you will see more, feel more. Whatever you see or hear, you will recognise the presence of Spirit by a sense of warmth in you, an inner knowing. You feel love inside, because love is the reason that Spirit will come to you. I have never experienced Spirit in any other way.

      Although I communicate with the deceased every day, I can never assume that Spirit will contact me in a particular way. This is even true of close friends and family who have passed over – I knew them in life, but it doesn’t mean that I will know how they may want to attract my attention after death.

      When my father passed away several years ago, I asked the priest if I could say something about him at the funeral. Even so, I was really unsure if I could cope with standing before everyone and keep my voice steady. I really wasn’t sure what to do. So, the same day, I asked my father in spirit for guidance; and he told me to make my speech.

      At the funeral service, I stood with my family awaiting the priest to beckon me to the pulpit. I turned to look at the coffin, decorated with a wreath of poppies and a union jack, and there I saw my father, crystal clear, having a whale of a time. I was astonished and nearly burst out laughing – he was practically lounging on his coffin, one leg draped over the other. His customary pint of beer was set down next to him. With a whisky chaser in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and a smile all over his face, he nodded at his coffin then looked right at me. ‘Nice’, he quipped.

      I didn’t see my mother at her funeral. I was only twenty-seven when she died, and I was terribly upset. I didn’t know if I could expect to see her or not, but she didn’t appear to me. This was unusual, because I have always seen the deceased at every funeral that I have attended. The recently deceased are always joyful. At one Quaker funeral for a close friend of mine who had sadly died from cancer, I saw my friend in spirit dance down the aisle, free of pain and so happy. I believe that everyone attends their own funeral in spirit: they are always present. I now believe that I didn’t see my mother, because she had already communicated with me in her own way.

      In the days after my mother’s death, before the funeral, I wondered if I would see or hear her in spirit. That day I was missing her terribly. The answer came the next morning, and the two mornings after that. She called the whole family – all five of us – at 7am. I’ve always been hopeless at getting up in the morning, and used to rely on my mother to rouse the household; she would open the door and call up the stairs every day. That morning, when I first heard her voice, she named all of us, just as she used to – me, my husband Michael, my son and two daughters. I momentarily forgot that she had died, and rushed downstairs only to find that she was not there. But then the realisation dawned that this was her way of saying that everything was all right and that things were as they should be. What was particularly unusual, though, was that all the family heard and recognised her voice. Usually, only one person senses someone in spirit, but this was communal.

      So, you can’t always know how Spirit will come to you. It may be the spirit of a loved one, your spirit guides or those of someone close by. You may hear, see, feel, smell or even taste their presence. The key to sensitivity is to be open to communication through every sense you possess.

      Spirits stand at the edge of your vision; whatyou see out of the corner of your eye is notimagination, it is someone letting you knowthey are there.

      THE EXERCISES

      The following exercises demonstrate the sensitivity techniques that I use in my workshops. I know that they have benefited many of my clients. The exercises are remarkably simple – and they work. Sensitivity doesn’t need to be complicated. Each of you reading this book

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