LITMIR.BIZ

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and gentry. The bill contained the fare which was to be provided, and intimated the hour of the performance, and the prices to be paid for the seats. The performance was to take place in a very large room attached to the inn, which, previous to the decadence of the town, had been used as an assembly-room. A platform was erected on the outside, on which were placed the musicians, and where we all occasionally made our appearance in our splendid dresses to attract the wonder of the people. There we strutted up and down, all but poor little Fleta, who appeared to shrink at the display, from intuitive modesty. When the music ceased, a smart parley between Melchior and me, and Philotas and Timothy, as the two fools, would take place; and Melchior declared, after the performance was over, that we conducted ourselves to admiration.

      “Pray, Mr Philotas, do me the favour to tell me how many people you think are now present?” said Melchior to Num, in an imperative voice.

      “I don’t know,” said Num, looking up with his idiotical, melancholy face.

      “Ha! ha! ha!” roared the crowd at Num’s stupid answer.

      “The fellow’s a fool!” said Melchior, to the gaping audience.

      “Well, then, if he can’t tell; perhaps you may, Mr Dionysius,” said I, addressing Tim.

      “How many, sir? Do you want to know exactly and directly?”

      “Yes, sir, immediately.”

      “Without counting, sir?”

      “Yes, sir, without counting.”

      “Well then, sir, I will tell, and make no mistake; there’s exactly as many again as half.”

      “Ha! ha! ha!” from the crowd.

      “That won’t do, sir. How many may be the half?”

      “How many may be the half? Do you know yourself, sir?”

      “Yes, sir, to be sure I do.”

      “Then there’s no occasion for me to tell you.”

      “Ha! ha! ha!”

      “Well then, sir,” continued Melchior to Philotas, “perhaps you’ll tell how many ladies and gentlemen we may expect to honour us with their company to-night.”

      “How many, sir?”

      “Yes, sir, how many?”

      “I’m sure I don’t know,” said Num, after a pause.

      “Positively you are the greatest fool I ever met with,” said Melchior.

      “Well, he does act the fool as natural as life,” observed the crowd. “What a stupid face he does put on!”

      “Perhaps you will be able to answer that question. Mr Dionysius,” said I to Tim.

      “Yes, sir, I know exactly.”

      “Well, sir, let’s hear.”

      “In the first place, all the pretty women will come, and all the ugly ones stay away; and as for the men, all those who have got any money will be certain to come; those who hav’n’t, poor devils, must stay outside.”

      “Suppose, sir, you make a bow to the ladies.”

      “A very low one, sir?”

      “Yes, very low indeed.”

      Tim bent his body to the ground, and threw a somerset forward. “There, sir; I bowed so low, that I came up on the other side.”

      “Ha! ha! capital!” from the crowd.

      “I’ve got a round turn in my back, sir,” continued Tim, rubbing himself. “Hadn’t I better take it out again?”

      “By all means.”

      Tim threw a somerset backwards. “There, sir, all’s right now. One good turn deserves another. Now I’ll be off.”

      “Where are you going to, sir?”

      “Going sir! Why, I left my lollipop in the tinder-box, and I’m going to fetch it.”

      “Ha! ha! ha!”

      “Strike up, music!” and Master Jumbo commenced tumbling.

      Such was the elegant wit with which we amused and attracted the audience. Perhaps, had we been more refined, we should not have been so successful.

      That evening we had the room as full as it could hold. Signor Velotti alias Melchior astonished them. The cards appeared to obey his commands—rings were discovered in lady’s shoes—watches were beat to a powder and made whole—canary birds flew out of eggs. The audience were delighted. The entertainment closed with Fleta’s performance on the slack wire; and certainly never was there anything more beautiful and graceful. Balanced on the wire in a continual, waving motion, her eyes fixed upon a point to enable her to maintain her position, she performed several feats, such as the playing with five oranges, balancing swords, etcetera. Her extreme beauty—her very picturesque and becoming dress—her mournful expression and downcast eyes—her gentle manner, appeared to win the hearts of the audience; and when she was assisted off from her perilous situation by Melchior and me, and made her graceful courtesy, the plaudits were unanimous.

      When the company dispersed I went to her, intending to praise her, but I found her in tears. “What is the matter, my dear Fleta?”

      “O nothing! don’t say I have been crying—but I cannot bear it—so many people looking at me. Don’t say a word to Melchior—I won’t cry any more.”

      Part 1—Chapter XII

      It is very easy to humbug those who are so eager to be humbugged as people are in this World of Humbug—We show ourselves excessively disinterested, which astonishes everybody.

      I kissed and consoled her; she threw her arm round my neck, and remained there with her face hid for some time. We then joined the others at supper. Melchior was much pleased with our success, and highly praised the conduct of Timothy and myself, which he pronounced was, for the first attempt, far beyond his expectations.

      We continued to astonish all the good people of – for five days, when we discovered the indubitable fact, that there was no more money to be extracted from their pockets, upon which we resumed our usual clothes and smock-frocks and with our bundles in our hands, set off for another market town, about fifteen miles distant. There we were equally successful, and Melchior was delighted with our having proved such a powerful acquisition to his troop; but not to dwell too long upon one subject, I shall inform the reader that, after a trip of six weeks, during which we were very well received, we once more returned to the camp, which had located within five miles of our last scene of action. Everyone was content—we were all glad to get back and rest from our labours. Melchior was pleased with his profits, poor little Fleta overjoyed to be once more in the seclusion of her tent, and Nattée very glad to hear of our good fortune, and to see her husband. Timothy and I had already proved ourselves so useful, that Melchior treated us with the greatest friendship and confidence—and he made us a present out of the gains, for our exertions; to me he gave ten, and to Timothy five, pounds.

      “There, Japhet, had you hired yourself I should not have paid you more than seven shillings per week, finding you in food; but you must acknowledge that for six weeks that is not bad pay. However, your earnings will depend upon our success, and I rather think that we shall make a much better thing of it when next we start, which will be in about a fortnight; but we have some arrangements to make. Has Timothy a good memory?”

      “I think he has.”

      “That is well. I told you before that we are to try the ‘Wise Man,’—but first we must have Nattée in play. To-morrow we will start for —,” mentioning a small quiet town about four miles off.

      We did so, early the next morning, and arrived about noon, pitching our tents on the common, not far from the town; but in this instance we left all the rest of our gang behind. Melchior’s own party and his two tents were all that were brought by the donkeys.

      Melchior and I, dressed as countrymen, went into the town at dusk, and entered

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