LITMIR.BIZ

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foolish? Where did all the love go?” She shook her head. “No. Never mind. It doesn’t matter anymore. We’re who we are and they were who they were.”

      Brendan desperately needed to change the subject before he confessed that he still loved her more than life itself. “Is there something I could be doin’ for you?”

      She blinked, clearly surprised by his offer. “Have you seen Jimmy about?” she asked. “Oh. Forget it. I asked him to help Al build a fence around the garden. I have to remember to order some of the wire Rhia Varga uses around her chicken coop. If it keeps her chickens safe from predators, it should do the same for ours, and keep animals out of Shamrock’s vegetable garden.”

      She wants to order the wire. Brendan stared at her. He’d quickly come to see that Helena knew what she was doing around the ranch. And had to admit how little credit he’d given her. She knew what it meant to work. And it was damn hard work she’d done and still did.

      “I’m sorry for that remark I made about you not knowin’ the meanin’ of work. It’s clear the men respect you and that you often work alongside them.”

      “Don’t be sorry. You’d have been right once. The girl who came here didn’t know what hard work meant.” Her eyes glittered in the sunlight—with tears, he feared. “I’m not that naive, sheltered girl any longer. The truth is, you don’t know me and I don’t know you. Maybe we never did.”

      He nearly protested that of course he knew her, but she turned away and went to her mare’s stall. Paint Box. The silly name made him smile.

      He moved to pat the mare’s blaze at the same time Helena did, and his hand landed atop hers. She gasped and pulled away. Sadness nearly overwhelmed him. Once upon a time she wouldn’t have shied away. And he’d have never left her alone in her bed, either.

      No one understood why he and Helena had gone their separate ways after banding together as they made their way to freedom. It had caused a rift in his family he’d yet to fully repair. Worse of all, Brendan was getting to a place where even he didn’t understand what kept them apart. And now it was too late.

      He’d thrown away her love in a snit—one he still felt had been justified. But he wasn’t sure if feeling justified had been worth what he’d lost. Putting the thought away, Brendan realized he stood with his hand on the mare, staring straight ahead. And Helena was staring at him. “What was it you wanted Jimmy for?” he asked, to cover his discomfort.

      “I wanted him to harness the gig. Elizabeth and Farrah Varga decided to bury Don Alejandro privately. Farrah’s note said they didn’t want to hear a lot of insincere platitudes. I can’t blame them. Some of the men at my father’s funeral were really more like rivals than friends. It made it so much more difficult sorting out who could be trusted and who couldn’t.”

      Brendan frowned. He’d never met Helena’s father, who’d already been killed when she’d stumbled upon Brendan’s favorite fishing hole. Putting aside the precious memory of their first meeting, he brought his mind back to what she was saying.

      “We decided to give them a tea to see them off. They’re going to visit family.”

      That meant a trip into town. “Who are you takin’ with you?”

      “With me? No one. I go to town alone all the time.”

      That wasn’t happening again. “You can’t go alone.”

      “You have no authority over me!” Helena declared. “I go where I want, when I want.”

      As if he didn’t know that. “Jaysus, woman. Can we not speak a civil word between us? You could run into the raiders. Suppose that happened? Contrary to what you apparently think, they don’t just kill the women they come across on these raids. By time they’re done with them, the poor women are probably beggin’ for death. At least Miss Varga had the sense to stay hidden.”

      Helena frowned. “Fine. I’ll take Al with me. The garden is the least important thing going on right now. Jimmy can work alone.”

      Brendan thought about the young buck and his belly tightened with what he refused to call jealousy. Unfortunately, he was at a loss what else to call it. He wasn’t staking a claim to her. At least, that was what Brendan told himself. But even as he thought it, his heart protested. “I heard Mallory tell Al to ride out to check for laboring cows after fixing the fence. I’ll go along with you to town.”

      She looked as shocked as he felt, and shook her head. “No. You said you were going to work on strengthening our defenses. You should have suggestions for Mallory about them.”

      He had a few, but she and the foreman seemed to run a tight outfit. Brendan was here to protect Helena, but didn’t want to admit it to her. “I talked to Mallory about a few changes already. He’s off seeing to them. Right now I’m at loose ends, so I’m riding with you.”

      “Fine! I’ll go put on riding clothes, and change back into my dress at the store. Just don’t talk to me. And when we get into town, go away! I’m sure the ladies at the Garter can keep you occupied.”

      He summoned up a grin. “They usually do,” he lied. Then cursed his contrary nature when he saw hurt enter her eyes. What was it about Helena that made him do and say things he regretted before he could get his big mouth shut?

      While she changed, he readied Harry and her mare for the ride into town. By the time they were halfway there, he was mighty sick of Helena’s stony silence. He managed to honor her demand, though, afraid that if he didn’t she’d sneak out of town for the return trip without him.

      It was an hour of torture until they reached the edge of town. After setting a time and place to meet up, he peeled off without another word, hoping against hope she was as miserable as he was.

      * * *

      The Vargas’ farewell tea had begun to wind down when Helena said goodbye and slipped out the door. She set out for her sister-in-law’s general store to change back out of her dress. Then she’d have to meet Brendan for the ride home.

      “Helena, wait!” she heard Patience Reynolds call as she reached the front of the store. “I wanted to talk with you,” her friend said, a happy grin on her pretty face.

      In the fall of last year she’d married Helena’s nearest neighbor, Alex Reynolds, owner of the Rocking R. They were expecting their first child and were deliriously happy together.

      Helena fought the disgraceful stab of envy she felt. It wasn’t that she begrudged her friends their joy. She didn’t. But it reminded her of all the things Brendan had stolen from her. Envy didn’t mean she couldn’t be pleased for them, though.

      Resigned, Helena walked up the steps with Patience at her side. At the top, her friend stopped and turned to her. “Before I forget, Alex and I wondered if you two would like to come to dinner.”

      “Two?”

      “You and Brendan. We’re both so happy for you. Brendan did so much to help me. Alex has tremendous respect for him.”

      Darn Brendan and his lie! But she trusted her friends and wouldn’t lie to them herself. “We aren’t back together in spite of what you must have heard. He’s moved to Shamrock only because he thinks it may help catch the raiders.”

      Patience blinked. “But when Alex and I met Brendan he was clearly worried about you. And I know you’ve regretted the state your marriage was in. I didn’t understand then, but when I met him, he was so sweet. And kind.”

      Brendan? Sweet and kind? He isn’t sweet and kind to me. Not anymore. I can’t want him back. I’d be a candidate for Bedlam if I did.

      “He’s there to catch the Ghost Warriors,” Helena said. “That’s all.”

      “Are you saying it’s too late? This could be your chance to show him how good life with you would be. Maybe cook him special dinners. You know, show him how much you love him.”

      Helena

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