LITMIR.BIZ

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right, I haven’t,” she agreed, cradling the mug with both hands, letting its warmth seep into her palms. Somehow she managed to go in to work most days, but she’d been late a number of times. Again and again she sat in front of the television and escaped into her favorite movies. Movies her mother had loved, too—romance, adventure, suspense, anything that would take her mind off the lies Virginia had told her. Lies both her parents had conspired in.

      “What do you do here every night?” he asked. “Besides watch Humphrey Bogart and Cary Grant movies.”

      “Do?” It seemed he had only to look around for an answer to that.

      He glanced back into the living room and frowned.

      Lorraine tried to look at the house through his eyes and had to admit its appearance must come as something of a shock. She was as neat and orderly as her mother had been. Both were meticulous housekeepers, yet Lorraine had gone about systematically tearing every room apart. The house was a shambles.

      “What do you hope to prove?” he asked.

      Lorraine was stunned by his lack of comprehension. “I’m not hoping to prove anything. I’m hoping to find what else my mother saw fit to hide from me.”

      He stared into the distance as if it took some effort to assimilate her words. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you thought about talking to a counselor?” he asked gently. He risked glancing in her direction.

      “You mean a mental-health professional?”

      “Ah…yes.”

      Lorraine couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. “You think I’ve gone off the deep end? That I’m losing it?” As her laugh turned to a giggle, she wondered if he wasn’t far from right. At times the sense of betrayal and pain threatened to strangle her. That her parents, particularly her mother, had chosen to lie to her was incomprehensible.

      “I know how difficult this is for you,” Gary added, rushing his words. “I’m trying to understand, and I know the people at Group Wellness are, too, but there’s a limit to just how accommodating everyone can be while you deal with this.”

      “I agree with you.”

      Gary’s eyes revealed his suspicion. “You do?”

      “I’m booking the next month off work.”

      “A month?” She could tell he was taken aback by the news. “That long? I think a week or two should be sufficient, don’t you?”

      “Not for what I have in mind.”

      “I thought we’d decided to save most of our vacation time for our honeymoon and—” He stopped midsentence and his eyes narrowed. “Have in mind? You have something in mind?”

      “I’m going to see my father.”

      It was a moment before he spoke. “When?”

      “My flight’s scheduled to leave at seven o’clock Tuesday morning.”

      Gary stared at her as if he didn’t recognize her any longer. “When did you decide this?” His voice was calm, which Lorraine recognized as a sign of anger.

      “Last week.” She’d known when she bought the ticket that Gary would disapprove. It was one of the reasons she hadn’t discussed her plans with him beforehand.

      “I see,” he said in a hurt-little-boy voice. He reached for his mug and took a long swallow.

      “I phoned the school where he teaches and talked to the secretary.” Communication had been difficult, but the woman’s English was far superior to Lorraine’s high-school Spanish.

      Gary’s silence was comment enough, but Lorraine hurried on with the details, hoping to settle this before she left for Mexico. She didn’t want to slight Gary or offend him, but she had to see her father, talk to him face-to-face. She had to find out what had driven him and her mother apart. Why her parents had allowed her to believe he was dead. There had to be a logical explanation for the lie; she prayed there was. Of all the emotions he’d revealed in his letter, the strongest was love, for her and for Virginia. And all these years they’d deprived her of that love. Why?

      “Have you talked to your father?” Gary asked, his voice devoid of emotion.

      She hesitated before answering, knowing Gary would find fault with this aspect of her plan. “Not directly.”

      “I see.”

      “The phone number is for the school where he teaches.”

      “So I understand.” He sounded downright bored now.

      “And he was in class when I called,” she continued. Surely that made perfect sense. “I left a message giving my flight information and asking him to meet my plane.”

      “Then he returned your phone call?”

      Again she hesitated. “Not exactly.”

      Gary snorted. “It’s a simple question, Lorraine. Either he returned your call or he didn’t.”

      This conversation had been unsatisfactory almost from the first. “I resent your tone, Gary. I was hoping you’d support me.”

      He released his breath in a long-suffering sigh. “I just wish you’d talked to me about it first.”

      “I’m sorry,” she told him, and she was. “I realize this is unfair to you, but I have to find out what happened between my parents. My father’s alive, and I want a chance to know him—to talk to him, to learn why they felt they had to lie. You can understand that, can’t you?”

      He took his time answering. “Yes,” he admitted with obvious reluctance. “But like I said, I wish you’d involved me in this. We’re engaged. I would’ve thought you’d want to talk it over with me before you booked the trip.”

      “I’m going to see my father, not quit my job.”

      “Taking a month off has…ramifications,” he said.

      “What do you mean?”

      “Our honeymoon time,” he shot back. “Group Wellness isn’t going to give you a month off now and then two more weeks a couple of months down the road.”

      “Five months.”

      “Whatever.”

      “Gary, please. Try to see it from my point of view.”

      “See it from mine.”

      “Darling, I’m sorry,” Lorraine said. “I was hoping you’d understand. I have to do this before I can get on with my life—with our life.”

      Slowly he nodded, as if his agreeing to her trip was a gift. “I still wish you’d told me first so I could’ve changed my schedule and joined you.”

      Joined her? Not once had Lorraine thought of asking Gary to accompany her. He couldn’t come anyway, she decided with a surge of relief. Not when he was so recently promoted and training his replacement.

      But that wasn’t the real reason, and she knew it. She loved Gary, but she didn’t want him with her. This journey into her family’s past was her adventure, and hers alone.

      

      Letting Lorraine travel to Mexico by herself had never sat easy with Gary Franklin. He loved his fiancée and realized this was a difficult, unsettling time for her. A measure of his love was his willingness to stand by and let her fly off on her own. Not only that, he’d offered to drive her to the airport—which meant getting up at 4:00 a.m. He glanced at his watch in the dashboard light. Quarter to five now. They’d discussed this trip countless times since the morning she’d sprung it on him, and he was convinced she was making a mistake. But Lorraine didn’t want to hear that and had stopped listening to him.

      Although his only intent was to protect her, shield

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