LITMIR.BIZ

       www.millsandboon.co.uk

      MARIE FERRARELLA

      This USA TODAY bestselling and RITA^® Award-winning author has written over 150 books for Silhouette, some under the name Marie Nicole. Her romances are beloved by fans worldwide.

      To Katherine Orr,

       with thanks.

      Contents

      Chapter One

      Chapter Two

      Chapter Three

      Chapter Four

      Chapter Five

      Chapter Six

      Chapter Seven

      Chapter Eight

      Chapter Nine

      Chapter Ten

      Chapter Eleven

      Chapter Twelve

      Chapter Thirteen

      Chapter Fourteen

      Chapter Fifteen

      Chapter One

      The warm, late-June breeze ruffled Ben Kerrigan’s dark-blond hair as he raised his hand to knock on the door of the rustic, two-story house that stood just outside of the town of Hades, Alaska. This was the house where he had grown up. The house he had abruptly left early one morning seven years ago.

      He’d been standing on the porch for the past few eternal moments, and he’d already raised his hand twice. His knuckles had made no contact with the weathered wood either time. Instead he’d dropped his hand to his side, as if all the energy had drained out of it.

      Cowardice was something new for him.

      For most of his thirty-four years, he’d sailed swiftly and happily through life. He’d had so much zest, it all but oozed out of him. Yes, there’d been mistakes, a whole host of them. God knew he would be the first to admit that, but somehow he managed to continue sailing because somehow, almost magically, difficulties always managed to get smoothed over.

      A rueful smile twisted his lips as he stared at the door. In large part, the “smoothing over” had been due to Shayne, his older brother, the brother who had watched out for him, who’d raised him from the time their parents had died. Shayne had been the one who’d worked like a dog to put Ben through medical school so that when he graduated, he would return and work alongside him in the tiny medical clinic that was the only one of its kind within a hundred-mile radius. It was Shayne who had always been there to pick up the slack, the pieces, to fix whatever it was that needed fixing for him.

      He hadn’t seen Shayne for seven years now.

      Hadn’t seen Shayne or heard from him. Not since he had left town with Lila when she’d unexpectedly told him that she’d marry him, but only if they left Hades. That was seven years ago.

      So he left with her. He’d run off, leaving Shayne to cope not just with the myriad of patients at the clinic, but with the two children that his ex-wife’s recent death had deposited on his doorstep—two children he hadn’t been allowed to see since almost infancy.

      Then there was the woman that Ben had asked to come up to Hades. To marry him. That had evolved almost without his realizing it, at a time when his relationship with Lila had seemed impossible. The woman had written to him, commenting on an article he’d written in a travel magazine. He wrote back. One thing led to another and it turned into a love affair rooted in words. Photographs had been exchanged, but they had never laid eyes on each other before he’d proposed and she had accepted.

      Looking back, he knew he’d been impetuous, but that was the way he’d always conducted himself. That word, more than any other, best described him. Impetuous. He’d tried to work on this in recent years. Especially this past one, after Lila walked out on him again.

      The back of his neck prickled and he rubbed his hand over it, shifting uncomfortably, but remaining where he was. In front of the door. Knowing he had to knock, yet not being able to quite get himself to do it.

      Having Lila walk out on him had taught him that being impetuous sometimes carried with it undesirable consequences. Waking up alone in their house had accomplished what years of Shayne’s lectures hadn’t. It had brought home the fact that he needed to become a little more responsible.

      Hell, a lot more responsible. And he had, as time went on. Remaining in Seattle, he’d managed to attach himself to a very lucrative medical practice.

      Working there with four other partners soon gave him everything he’d ever wanted.

      Everything except a feeling of satisfaction.

      Satisfaction continued to elude him, and this bothered him no matter how much he told himself it didn’t.

      As each month passed, his feeling of emptiness became stronger.

      And the women who passed through his life didn’t seem to matter. Sadly, they became interchangeable, their faces never leaving an impression on his mind. On his soul. Something else gnawed away at him. Something that went beyond primal appetites. He realized that there had to be more to life than this.

      Ben began to think of himself in terms of the main character in Coleridge’s epic poem, “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner.” Though his outward demeanor never changed, inside was a different story. Inside he needed to atone for what he had done. He needed to find peace.

      And then one evening,

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