Disconnected - Sherry Ashworth

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gin was finished now so I thought I’d have some more. The novelty of what I was doing was cheering me up.

      How much to pour in the glass? Might as well be generous. Emptied the tonic into it. Took a gulp right there by the drinks table. I really didn’t know what I had been worrying about. Anything was possible. My whole life was ahead of me. I waltzed over to the CD player in time to the music, and turned up the volume. This was cool. I went back to the essay, only I didn’t feel like getting on with it at that moment. I knew I could finish it now. Tomorrow. I would finish it tomorrow. I would wake up early in the morning and write and write.

      The only thing that was wrong now was that I was on my own. I felt good, better than I had for ages. I wanted to be somewhere, at a party, in a club, messing with my mates. This was a waste of good feelings, sitting here alone. I wondered about ringing Lucy, but the thought of her wittering on about Brad didn’t turn me on. Then all of a sudden the opera struck me as being stupid, so I ran upstairs and got Green Day and put that on instead. You can’t stand still to Green Day. So I started to dance – it made me thirsty – I drank some more. Out of my head, I thought, I’m out of my head. That was exactly where I wanted to be. Instead I was the music, at last I was connecting.

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