A Burlesque Translation of Homer - Francis Grose

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hardly fit to hold his candle.

      With rage and grief Tydides stung,

      Scratch'd his rump raw, yet held his tongue;

      Provok'd by this abusive knight

      To scratch the place that did not bite.

      Not so the son of Capaneus;

      He soon began to play the deuce:

      Good Mr. Chief, if you would try

      To speak the truth, you would not lye;

      Like other mortals though we rest,

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      1

      Every body knows Ulysses could lie with a very grave face.

      2

      Homer makes the gods go home at sun-set; I wish he could make all country justices and parsons do the same.

      3

      They made thunder formerl

1

Every body knows Ulysses could lie with a very grave face.

2

Homer makes the gods go home at sun-set; I wish he could make all country justices and parsons do the same.

3

They made thunder formerly in the play-houses by rolling a ball in an empty mustard bowl.

4

Whoring. You see Juno keeps continually harping on that word: we may judge from thence, she came in for small share of the labours of these whoring Trojans; but Venus did. There was one Anchises, a twice five-fingered Trojan, that (as old stories say) used to thrum her jacket. Æneas was the produce of their leisure hours.

5

The same. Here Juno overlooks a very severe rub of Jupiter's, because he directly gives her leave to satiate her revenge: had it not been for that, it is thought he would hardly have escaped without a scratched face at least, or perhaps the loss of an eye.

6

Destroy 'em, &c. See the fury of an enraged woman! Rather than Troy should escape, how easily she gives up three dearly-beloved towns! But it is to be hoped, there are few such women alive now-a-days.

7

Saturn.

8

Borton, an honest chymist in Piccadilly.

9

I imagine the author has placed the troops as he thinks they should be, not as they were. The author knows the Grecians had no horses but what they used to their chariots: but, as he talks like an apothecary, he gives himself what liberty he pleases.

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