LITMIR.BIZ

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read or hear when blood at highest flows;

           Nor more expense of blushes thence arise,

           Than while the lect'ring matron does advise

           To guard her virtue, and her honour prize.

           Satire and panegyric, distant be,

           Yet jointly here they both in one agree.

           The whole's a sacrifice of salt and fire;

           So does the humour of the age require,

           To chafe the touch, and so foment desire.

           As doctrine-dangling preachers lull asleep

           Their unattentive pent-up fold of sheep;

           The opiated milk glues up the brain,

           And th' babes of grace are in their cradles lain;

           While mounted Andrews, bawdy, bold, and loud,

           Like cocks, alarm all the drowsy crowd,

           Whose glittering ears are prick'd as bolt-upright,

           As sailing hairs are hoisted in a fright.

           So does it fare with croaking spawns o' th' press,

           The mould o' th' subject alters the success;

           What's serious, like sleep, grants writs of ease,

           Satire and ridicule can only please;

           As if no other animals could gape,

           But the biting badger, or the snick'ring ape.

           Folly by irony's commended here,

           Sooth'd, that her weakness may the more appear.

           Thus fools, who trick'd, in red and yellow shine,

           Are made believe that they are wondrous fine,

           When all's a plot t' expose them by design.

           The largesses of Folly here are strown.

           Like pebbles, not to pick, but trample on.

           Thus Spartans laid their soaking slaves before

           The boys, to justle, kick, and tumble o'er:

           Not that the dry-lipp'd youngsters might combine

           To taste and know the mystery of wine,

           But wonder thus at men transform'd to swine;

           And th' power of such enchantment to escape,

           Timely renounce the devil of the grape.

           So here,

           Though Folly speaker be, and argument,

           Wit guides the tongue, wisdom's the lecture meant.

           So here, Though Folly speaker be, and argument,

           Wit guides the tongue, wisdom's the lecture meant.

      ERASMUS's Praise of FOLLY

An oration, of feigned matter, spoken by Folly in her own person

      HOW slightly soever I am esteemed in the common vogue of the world, (for I well know how disingenuously Folly is decried, even by those who are themselves the greatest fools,) yet it is from my influence alone that the whole universe receives her ferment of mirth and jollity: of which this may be urged as a convincing argument, in that as soon as I appeared to speak before this numerous assembly all their countenances were gilded oyer with a lively sparkling pleasantness: you soon welcomed me with so encouraging a look, you spurred me on with so cheerful a hum, that truly in all appearance, you seem now flushed with a good dose of reviving nectar, when as just before you sate drowsy and melancholy, as if you were lately come out of some hermit's cell. But as it is usual, that as soon as the sun peeps from her eastern bed, and draws back the curtains of the darksome night; or as when, after a hard winter, the restorative spring breathes a more enlivening air, nature forthwith changes her apparel, and all things seem to renew their age; so at the first sight of me you all unmask, and appear in more lively colours. That therefore which expert orators can scarce effect by all their little artifice of eloquence, to wit, a raising the attentions of their auditors to a composedness of thought, this a bare look from me has commanded. The reason why I appear in this odd kind of garb, you shall soon be informed of, if for so short a while you will have but the patience to lend me an ear; yet not such a one as you are wont to hearken with to your reverend preachers, but as you listen withal to mountebanks, buffoons, and merry-andrews; in short, such as formerly were fastened to Midas, as a punishment for his affront to the god Pan. For I am now in a humour to act awhile the sophist, yet not of that sort who undertake the drudgery of tyrannizing over school boys, and teach a more than womanish knack of brawling; but in imitation of those ancient ones, who to avoid the scandalous epithet of wise, preferred this title of sophists; the task of these was to celebrate the worth of gods and heroes. Prepare therefore to be entertained with a panegyrick, yet not upon Hercules, Solon, or any other grandee, but on myself, that is, upon Folly.

      And here I value not their censure that pretend it is foppish and affected for any person to praise himself: yet let it be as silly as they please, if they will but allow it needful: and indeed what is more befitting than that Folly should be the trumpet of her own praise, and dance after her own pipe? for who can set me forth better than myself? or who can pretend to be so well acquainted with my condition?

      And yet farther, I may safely urge, that all this is no more than the same with what is done by several seemingly great and wise men, who with a new-fashioned modesty employ some paltry orator or scribbling poet, whom they bribe to flatter them with some high-flown character, that shall consist of mere lies and shams; and yet the persons thus extolled shall bristle up, and, peacock-like, bespread their plumes, while the impudent parasite magnifies the poor wretch to the skies, and proposes him as a complete pattern of all virtues, from each of which he is yet as far distant as heaven itself from hell: what is all this in the mean while, but the tricking up a daw in stolen feathers; a labouring to change the black-a-moor's hue, and the drawing on a pigmy's frock over the shoulders of a giant.

      Lastly, I verify the old observation, that allows him a right of praising himself, who has nobody else to do it for him: for really, I cannot but admire at that ingratitude, shall I term it, or blockishness of mankind, who when they all willingly pay to me their utmost devoir, and freely acknowledge their respective obligations; that notwithstanding this, there should have been none so grateful or complaisant as to have bestowed on me a commendatory oration, especially when there have not been wanting such as at a great expense of sweat, and loss of sleep, have in elaborate speeches, given high encomiums to tyrants, agues, flies, baldness, and such like trumperies.

      I shall entertain you with a hasty and unpremeditated, but so much the more natural discourse. My venting it ex tempore, I would not have you think proceeds from any principles of vain glory by which ordinary orators square their attempts, who (as it is easy to observe) when they are delivered of a speech that has been thirty years a conceiving, nay, perhaps at last, none of their own, yet they will swear they wrote it in a great hurry, and upon very short warning: whereas the reason of my not being provided beforehand is only because it was always my humour constantly to speak that which lies uppermost. Next, let no one be so fond as to imagine, that I should so far stint my invention to the method of other pleaders, as first to define, and then divide my subject, i.e., myself. For it is equally hazardous to attempt the crowding her within the narrow limits of a definition, whose nature is of so diffusive an extent, or to mangle and disjoin that, to the adoration whereof all nations unitedly concur. Beside, to what purpose is it to lay down a definition for a faint resemblance, and mere shadow of me, while appearing here personally, you may view me at a more certain light? And if your eye-sight fail not, you may at first blush discern me to be her whom the Greeks term Mwpia, the Latins stultitia.

      But

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