LITMIR.BIZ

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You ask a direct question, and you are bound in fairness to hear my answer. The life here is still very new to Evelyn, and she has not quite found her footing yet; – that is all. I have had it from her own lips that the place matters very little to her so long as she is – with you; and you go too far in saying that she is not happy here."

      But her words did not carry conviction. He was still under the influence of his wife's curious aloofness since the night of the fire.

      "You're trying to let me down gently, Honor," he said, with a rather cheerless smile. "And you may as well save yourself the trouble. Only – this is where you must not misunderstand me, please, – no shadow of blame attaches to Ladybird if she isn't happy. I had no right to bring her up to this part of the world, knowing it as I did; and I've no right to keep her here. That's the position, in a nutshell."

      "Do you mean you ought to – send her away?"

      "No —take her away."

      Honor started visibly.

      "But – surely – that's impossible?"

      "I think not," he said, in a matter-of-fact tone that distressed her more keenly than any display of emotion. "It's merely a question of facing facts. If I had money enough, I could throw up the Army and take her home. But, as matters stand, I can only do the next best thing, and give up – the Frontier, by exchanging into a down-country regiment."

      "The Frontier…! Theo! Do you realise what you are saying?"

      "Perfectly."

      "Oh, but it's folly – worse than folly! To give up what you have worked for all these years – the men who worship you – your friends, the regiment – "

      "They would survive the loss. I don't flatter myself I'm indispensable. Besides, this isn't a question of me or my friends. I am thinking of Ladybird."

      The coolness of his tone, and the set determination of his mouth, chilled her fervour like a draught of cold air.

      "Oh, if only Major Wyndham were here!" she murmured desperately.

      "Thank God he is not! And if he were, it would make no difference. I shouldn't dream of discussing such a matter with him or – any of them. When my mind is made up, I shall tell him; that is all."

      He rose as though the matter were ended; but Honor had no mind to let him shut the door upon it – yet.

      "It is strange that you can speak so," she said, "when you must know, better than any one, what your leaving the regiment would mean – to Major Wyndham."

      "Yes – I know," he answered quietly, and the pain in his eyes made her half regret her own daring. "The only two big difficulties in the way are my father – and Paul."

      "I see a whole army of others almost as big."

      "That is only because you are always in sympathy with the man's point of view."

      "A matter like this ought to be looked at first and foremost from the man's point of view. The truth is, Theo, that you have simply appealed to me in the hope of having your own Quixotic notion confirmed. You want me to say, 'Yes, go; you will be doing quite right.' And – think what you will of me – I flatly refuse to say it!"

      He regarded her for a few seconds in an admiring silence, the smile deepening in his eyes. Then:

      "Don't you think you are a little hard on me?" he said at length. "It is not altogether easy to do – this sort of thing."

      Honor made no immediate reply, though the strongest chords of her being vibrated in response to his words. Then she rose also, and stood before him; her head tilted a little upwards; her candid eyes resting deliberately upon his own. Standing thus, at her full height, she appeared commandingly beautiful, but in the stress of the moment the fact counted for nothing with either of them. All the hidden forces of her nature were set to remove the dogged line from his mouth; and he himself, looking on the fair outward show of her, saw only a mind clear as crystal, lit up by the white light of truth.

      For an instant they fronted one another – spirits of equal strength. Then Honor spoke.

      "If I do seem hard on you, it is only because I want, above all things, to convince you that your idea is wrong from every point of view. You have paid me a very high compliment to-day. I want you to pay me a still higher one: to believe that I am speaking the simple truth, as I see it, from a woman's standpoint, not merely trying to save you from unhappiness. May I speak out straight?"

      "As plainly as you please, Honor. Your opinion will not be despised, I promise you."

      "Well, then – is it fair on Evelyn to make her upbringing responsible for such a serious turn of the wheel? Would you give her no voice in the matter – treat her as if she were a mere child?"

      "She is very little more than a child."

      "Indeed, Theo, she is a great deal more. She is a woman, … and a wife. The woman's soul isn't fully awake in her yet; but it may come awake any day. And then – how would she feel if she ever found out – "

      "She never would – "

      "How can you tell? Women find out most things about the men they – care for. It's a risk not worth running. Would she even acquiesce if you put the matter before her now, child as she is?"

      "Frankly, I don't know. Possibly not. She isn't able to see ahead much, or look all round a subject."

      "Shall you be very angry if I say that you haven't yet looked thoroughly round this one? The idea probably came to you as an impulse – a very fine impulse, I admit; and, instead of fairly weighing pros and cons, you have simply been hunting up excuses that will justify you in carrying it out; because, for the moment, Evelyn seems a little discontented with things in general."

      The hard lines about his mouth relaxed.

      "You are speaking straight with a vengeance, Honor!"

      "I know I am. It's necessary sometimes, when people are – obstinate!" And she smiled frankly into his troubled face. "Oh, believe me, it's fatal for the man to throw all his life out of gear on account of the woman. It's putting things the wrong way about altogether. In accepting her husband, a woman must be prepared to accept his life and work also."

      "But, suppose she can't realise either till – too late?"

      "That's a drawback. But if she really cares, it can still be done. I am jealous for Evelyn. I want her to have the chance of showing that she has good stuff in her. Give her the chance, Theo; and if she doesn't quite rise to it, don't feel that you are in any way to blame."

      "I'd be bound to feel that."

      "Then I can only say it would be very wrong-headed of you." Her eyes softened to a passing tenderness nevertheless. "Let the blame, if there is any, rest on my shoulders; and we'll hope that the need may never arise. Now, have I said enough? Will you —will you leave things as they are, and put aside your impossible notion for good?"

      The urgency of her request so touched him that he answered with a readiness which surprised himself.

      "No question but you're a friend worth having! I promise you this much, Honor. I will think very thoroughly over it all, since you accuse me of not having done so yet! And we'll let the matter rest for the present, anyway. I'd like to get you both to the Hills as soon as possible. These Kresneys are becoming something of a nuisance. It's past my comprehension how she can find any pleasure in their company. But she has little enough amusement here, and I'm loth to spoil any of it. She'll enjoy going up to Murree, though, sooner than she expected; and as Mackay insists on my taking fifteen days before getting back to work, I can go with you, and settle you up there in about a week's time. You'll see after her, for me, won't you, Honor? She's a little heedless and inexperienced still; and you'll keep an eye on household matters more or less?"

      "Of course I will, and make her see to them herself, too; though it seems rather like expecting a flower to learn the multiplication table! She is so obviously just made to be loved and protected."

      "And kept happy," he insisted, with an abrupt reversion to his original argument.

      "Yes

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