LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

then, a device struck me, which I thought might extricate the poor fellow; so, having received permission, I went across, and whispered it to him.

      'The heavens smile on you,' cried he, and then addressed his accuser: 'If I can prove to you that I have not broken our agreement about the money, will you promise not to prosecute me for this assault?'

      'With all my heart,' answered he; 'for if you have not broken our agreement, you must have the money still, which is all I want.'

      'And will your worship,' said Sullivan, 'permit this compromise, and stand umpire between us?'

      'I have not the least objection,' answered the magistrate; 'for I would rather be the means of your fulfilling an agreement, than of your suffering a punishment; and would rather recompense your accuser with money than with revenge.'

      'Well then,' said Jerry to his accuser; 'was not our agreement, that I should return the money to yourself and your partner, whenever you came together to me, and asked for it?'

      'Certainly,' said the man.

      'And did you both ever come together to me, and ask for it?'

      'Never,' said the man.

      'Then I have not broken our agreement,' cried Sullivan.

      'But you cannot keep it,' said the other; 'for you have given away the money.'

      'No matter for that,' cried Sullivan, 'provided I have it when both of you come to demand it. But I believe that will be never, for the fellow who ran off will not much like to shew his face again. So now will your worship please to decide.'

      The magistrate, after complimenting me upon my ingenuity, confessed, he said, with much unwillingness, that Sullivan had made out his case clearly. The poor accuser was therefore obliged to abide by his promise, and Sullivan was dismissed, snapping his fingers, and offering to treat the whole world with a tankard.

      My cause came after, and the treacherous Maria was ordered to state her evidence.

      But what think you, Biddy, of my keeping you in suspense, till my next letter? The practice of keeping in suspense is quite common among novelists. Nay, there is a lady in the Romance of the Highlands, who terminates, not her letter, but her life, much in the same style. For when dying, she was about to disclose the circumstances of a horrid murder, and would have done so too, had she not unfortunately expended her last breath in a beautiful description of the verdant hills, rising sun, all nature smiling, and a few streaks of purple in the east.

Adieu.

      LETTER VIII

      Maria being ordered to state her evidence, 'That I will,' said she, 'only I am so ashamed of having been out late at night – but I must tell your worship how that happened.'

      'You need not,' said the magistrate.

      'Well then,' she continued, 'I was walking innocently home, with my poor eyes fixed upon the ground, for fear of the fellors, when what should I see, but this girl, talking on some steps, with a pickpocket, I fancy, for he looked pretty decent. So I ran past them, for I was so ashamed you can't think; and this girl runs after me, and says, says she, "The fellor wouldn't give me a little shilling," says she, "so by Jingo, you must," says she.'

      'By Jingo! I say by Jingo?' cried I. 'St. Catherine guard me! Indeed, your Excellenza, my only oath is Santa Maria.'

      'She swore at me like a trooper,' continued the little imp, 'so I pulled out my purse in a fright, and she snatched it from me, and ran away, and I after her, calling stop thief; and this is the whole truth 'pon my honour and word, and as I hope to be married.'

      The watchman declared that he had caught me running away, that he had found the purse in my hand, and that Maria had described it, and the money contained in it, accurately.

      'And will your worship,' said Maria, 'ask the girl to describe the sixpence that is in it?'

      The magistrate turned to me.

      'Really,' said I, 'as I never even saw it, I cannot possibly pretend to describe it.'

      'Then I can,' cried she. ''Tis bent in two places, and stamped on one of its sides with a D and an H.'

      The sixpence was examined, and answered her description of it.

      'The case is clear enough,' said the magistrate, 'and now, Miss, try whether you can advocate your own cause as well as Jerry Sullivan's.'

      Jerry, who still remained in the room, came behind me, and whispered, 'Troth, Miss, I have no brains, but I have a bit of an oath, if that is of any use to you. I would sell my soul out of gratitude, at any time.'

      'Alas! your Excellenza,' said I to the magistrate, 'frail is the tenure of that character, which has Innocence for its friend, and Infamy for its foe. Life is a chequered scene of light and shade; life is a jest, a stage – '

      'Talking of life is not the way to save it,' said the magistrate. 'Less sentiment and more point, if you please.'

      I was silent, but looked anxiously towards the door.

      'Are you meditating an escape?' asked he.

      'No,' said I, 'but just wait a little, and you shall see what an interesting turn affairs will take.'

      'Come,' cried he, 'proceed at once, or say you will not.'

      'Ah, now,' said I, 'can't you stop one moment, and not spoil everything by your impatience. I am only watching for the tall, elegant young stranger, with an oval face, who is to enter just at this crisis, and snatch me from perdition.'

      'Did he promise to come?' said the magistrate.

      'Not at all,' answered I, 'for I have never seen the man in my life. But whoever rescues me now, you know, is destined to marry me hereafter. That is the rule.'

      'You are an impudent minx,' said the magistrate, 'and shall pay dear for your jocularity. Have you parents?'

      'I cannot tell.'

      'Friends?'

      'None.'

      'Where do you live?'

      'No where.'

      'At least 'tis plain where you will die. What is your name?'

      'Cherubina.'

      'Cherubina what?'

      'I know not.'

      'Not know? I protest this is the most hardened profligate I have ever met. Commit her instantly.'

      I now saw that something must be done; so summoning all my most assuasive airs, I related the whole adventure, just as it had occurred.

      Not a syllable obtained belief. The fatal sixpence carried all before it. I recollected the fate of Angelica Angela Angelina, and shuddered. What should I do? One desperate experiment remained.

      'There were four guineas and half a guinea in the purse,' said I to the girl.

      'To be sure there were,' cried she. 'How cunning you are to tell me my own news.'

      'Now,' said I, 'answer me at once, and without hesitation, whether it is the half guinea or one of the guineas that is notched in three places, like the teeth of a saw?'

      She paused a little, and then said; 'I have a long story to tell about those same notches. I wanted a silk handkerchief yesterday, so I went into a shop to buy one, and an impudent ugly young fellor was behind the counter. Well, he began ogling me so, I was quite ashamed; and says he to me, there is the change of your two pound note, says he, a guinea and a half in gold, says he, and you are vastly handsome, says he. And there are three notches in one of the coins, says he; guess which, says he, but it will pass all the same, says he, and you are prodigious pretty, says he. So indeed, I was so ashamed, that though I looked at the money, and saw the three notches, I have quite forgotten which they were in – guinea or half guinea; for my sight spread so, with shame at his compliments, that the half guinea looked as big as the guinea. Well, out I ran, blushing like a poor, terrified little thing, and sure enough, a horrid accident was near happening me in my hurry. For I was just running under the wheel of a carriage, when a gentleman catches me in his arms, and says he, you are prodigious pretty, says

Скачать книгу