LITMIR.BIZ

      Nevertheless, they proclaim that if the discrimination does not stop at once and they are not accepted as fully-fledged members of the Club, they will establish a ‘Knighthood of the Secret Peers’. As such they will go underground and join with an alternative wing of the Blockhead movement, whose members have already managed to found a church ‘The Secret Path to Blockhead’. Many images of Blockhead adorn their walls, and the edges of the images all depict various episodes of the hero’s life. There is a two metre-tall statue, but it isn’t easy to find since the interior of the church is a labyrinth. So only the most determined can reach and finally attend to their most natural needs without any reservations!

      Some of the congregation made tattoos of the characteristic Blockhead pose, and some even embellished it with his initials. But this issue was nor free of controversy. What if some people take their PB as an abbreviation for ‘Partial Believers’? Of course a partial believer does not have absolute faith in Blockhead.

      And that would justly anger the orthodox – if you don’t have absolute faith, how dare you use Blockhead tattoos on your chests?!

      And for the Russians it won’t be easy either. What if somebody in a sauna or on the beach associates the letters PB next to the image of the ‘Peeing Briton’ as ‘Safety Police’ or, God forbid, as ‘Fear God’.[19] That would be seen as total blasphemy! All in all, sectarianism is harmful any way you look at it and such examples clearly support this position. All I want to say to these sectarians is: ‘PB! – Pursue Blockhead!’

      Ethnic Arguments on Authorship and Genetics[20]

      And here is some information about the events that could have actually been foreseen. In Great Britain they debate the national identity of this particular subject of Her Royal Majesty. The English blame the Irish, and the Irish think that only the English could have been involved in this scandal in Riga. You’d think that they would never settle their epic debate but a happy occurrence helped to change the historical bickering to a more positive tendency.

      A Pacifying Russian Word

      Yet another fight was about to break out in one London pub when the atmosphere became volatile and grave insults hit many a sore spot.

      – You are a stupid Irish bitch! I’ll show you!

      – Oh, yeah?! What can you show me, you dirty British bastard?!

      – See this?! (What was next shown was only somewhat reminiscent of the memorable pose).

      At that time a calm gentleman in glasses and a fur hat said something in clear and simple Russian language that immediately relaxed the threatening situation. Namely he spat out: ‘What animals!’

      Everyone heard the brilliant insight and that settled the arguing sides at once. And how else should they have read his words? The only nation in Great Britain that can be referred to as ‘animals’ is Scottish.[21] It is obvious that only those can behave this way, who believe that men have a right to prance around in chequered skirts. Thus the debate was settled and everybody was pleased.

      By the way, a group of British, Dutch, and Belgian scientists are now thoroughly examining archive documents of the 17th century in hopes of supporting an emerging hypothesis that claims genealogical connection between ‘Manneken Pis’ and his contemporary counterpart from Britain. The genealogists are also interested in this study because a particular gene can explain such an unusual desire.

      Cinema[22]

      The Club’s activists plan to hire Roger Waters, Dave Gilmour, and Nick Mason, the members of the famous British rock band Pink Floyd, with an offer to write a ‘Peeing Briton’ rock opera. They have the same offer for Alan Parker, the film director about making a film about unbelievable adventures of the Peeing Briton, which would highlight various episodes of his life, his childhood fantasies and desires, the author’s account of how he could have found himself in Latvia, and what power inspired him to conduct this Earth-shattering act on the holiday of the Lāčplēsis Day.

      Just like in the Parker’s video for Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’ the movie about the Briton will have to include game and animation elements, recreate the past and the present of the hero’s life, show wonderful images of his inner world and the environment that bred him.

      No doubt that the new film will be the main nominee for the American Academy Award. The filmmakers predict that the Oscar, a tiny gilded sculpture that shows a knight with a sword (that incidentally has no

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