İÇİMDE İNTİHAR KORKUSU VAR - Faruk Yiğit Araz

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başladım bir zaman sonra. Müdahale edemediğim hayatımı akışına bırakıp, başka hayatlara müdahale ettim. Bir şeyler öğrettim daima. Eksik ya da fazla, yanlış ya da doğru. Ama muhakkak bir eğitici gibi öğretme çabası içindeydim. Hastalıklarına, dertlerine çareler bulanlar, fikir alanlar haftalık terapilerimin ardından uzaklaştılar benden. Bedenim, ayaklı ve canlı bir rehabilitasyon merkezi haline gelmeyi başarmıştı.

      İş dolayısı ile seyahat ettiğim Ankara’nın ardından, Konya’da bir hafta konaklama kararı almıştım. Birkaç geziden sonra akşam yemeği için dostlarımla sözleşip Kule’de görüştük. Yemek yedikten ve uzun süredir de görüşememenin hasretini bir nebze attıktan sonra kalkıp dışarıda, açık bir alanda çay içmeye karar verdik.

      Oldum olası gittiğim yerlerin ekonomisini, nüfusunu, gençliğinin ne ile meşgul olduğunu, iş potansiyeline dair klişe soruları sorar ve gerçek anlamda “sorun” olarak görülen şeylerin ne olduğunu merak ederim. Konya’da da en büyük sorunun “boşanma” olduğunu duydum. Bunu aklımın bir kenarına not ettim. Yazacak bir şeyler arama gayreti mi yoksa karşılaşacağım şeylerin ardından kafamda ürettiğim tahayyüllerin yerine tam olarak oturma planı mı bilemiyorum.

      Oturduğumuz Avm’den ayrılıp çay bahçesine gitmek için caddeye doğru ilerlediğimizde, karşımızda belli ki provasını daha önceden yapmış, gri takım elbiseli, parlak ayakkabılı, bir berber eli değdiğini yansıtacak şekilde yapmacık fön ile jölelenmiş saçlı, elinde bir buket olan, kadınla konuşmaya gayret eden bir adam gördük.

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      1

      İsmet Özel

      2

      Leyla Erbil

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1

İsmet Özel

2

Leyla Erbil

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