LITMIR.BIZ

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very crucial was taking place. The car is speeding, situation is getting dangerous… Tossing and turning, he was exhausted from his debility. He made an effort to perceive the essence of the problem again, but failed. «Probably, it is too early», – he thought and at the very next moment he could clearly see how cars crashed. All covered with sweat, forgetting about broken foot, Max sat on the bed abruptly causing himself severe pain. For a couple of minutes, he kept on sitting on the bed, relaxing a foot and waiting for the pain to calm down.

      – Hey! Did you get rest? – Maxim heard Roman’s voice but instead of turning to him he just asked:

      – Do you have an idea why I keep seeing an empty baby crib near the house porch?

      – I have absolutely no idea how to explain that!

      «More then likely those dreams are connected, the key is to understand them completely», – Maxim thought.

      – Roma, have you been to school yesterday?

      – Yes, Svetlana Victorovna took a sick leave.

      – Recently? – Maxim felt tingling in his body.

      – She hasn’t been at school for two weeks so far and all of her classes are cancelled.

      Roman kept on talking but Maxim thought of Svetlana Victorovna. He has loved her for many years, but that love has not given her any benefits. Hmm, what kind of benefits can it offer to the married woman? How is the baby crib connected with it? Could it be the answer? Maxim had a feeling that love is growing stronger and stronger and realized that only Svetlana Victorovna has the ability to love like that. He tried to imagine where she was at the moment and what she was thinking about. Should he be thinking about it now?

      Do you listen to me? I have a feeling that I am talking to myself and you belong to your world.

      Max didn’t hear his friend again. He apprehended that at that specific moment, weak and sick, not ready for anything, he had to accept that overwhelming responsibility. Max suddenly acknowledged that he ought to help his beloved woman to have a child. He was experiencing extreme headache and heart burn and felt so bad, that every part of his body was in pain and the scenery in front of eyes drifted. To lessen his suffering at least a little, he closed his eyes but could still see the car accident. Seeing the intensity of Svetlana’s mysery, Max understood the reason which led to car crash. At the moment of the crash Svetlana realized her powerlessness, and it took advance of her openness and weakness, causing her a massive psychological trauma… With the rest of the energies left he thought: «What can I do? I am only a little boy to her»! – he fell on the pillow, not being able to sit any more. He felt better when Roma took his hand. Maxim asked him:

      – How are your studies going?

      – You know the answer already, Max. Why are you asking?

      – Don’t worry, not because I have nothing else to do. You know everything yourself.

      – See, they don’t want me to leave school.

      – So stop fighting with them. Just go and study. They will understand with time. No need to procrastinate.

      – But how? I don’t even know what they want: to finish eleventh grade or go to college. They impede me to take a decision, confusing me which path to take. I start doubting the rightness of the taken decision and don’t know weather it is mine or theirs. We can’t stop the time, Max, everything happens by itself – and not for good. Everyone understands it and get scared. Uncertainty is taking control over me, and I am being made to do things that don’t depend on me. Maxim, do something! I know you can!

      – Roman, what can I do? I can predict that you will drop out of school and will start college; but you will drop it as well and won’t even have a hight school diploma! Do you understand me?! What do you want me to do and with whom? With you or with your parents? Explain me please; what do you want me to do? Turn the time around? You know that I have had many conversations with your mom but they led to nowhere. She asked me to talk to you about staying in school. I told her exactly the same things as I told you. But she hasn’t gathered herself together, and you can’t get strengths back for the concrete actions.

      – So what do you want to advise me, my friend?

      – Either do a good job at school or then to college or finish the tenth grade and then go to college. Figure out a relationship with parents yourself, you are an adult so stop being a baby. What do you think?

      – I have already tried that but it did not seem to work.

      – Then just stay in school! What else is there to discuss?! You see everything yourself. What are you thinking about?! Don’t make me get cynical.

      – I just can’t study at school anymore, I can’t even go there, why is that so hard to understand!

      – Romka, with this attitude you will drop out of college as well! You want to know why? For the whole year they have the high school program but you don’t want to study it! The problem is in you, and only you can organize yourself and improve the situation. Neither me, nor your parents can help you. We will only bother you and make you feel confused. I don’t want to do it; can you understand? I am talking to you now, and everything you think of is where to go tomorrow to skip classes!

      – How do you know what is on my mind?

      – I just know, Roma.

      Max felt strong weakness which did not let him finish his speech and thought: «There is no need to explain Roman how I know things. Absolutely not necessary».

      – I want to go to sleep, I am so tired. Wake me up at six pm, ok?

      Maxim hasn’t heard Roman’s reply; energies left him and he drowned in sleep. He saw a dream about some girl who was walking fast to the house porch where he was standing. With the abrupt movement she unzipped his jacket. Not having time to understand what was happening, Max saw her pushing a bouquet of peonies, presented by him, into his bosom. Then she left without saying a single word after closing a jacket zipper…

      VII

      Svetlana Vladimirovna became very thirsty, when she heard on the phone that Shtuforuk Maxim – her precious love – is staying at home with the foot broken and can’t even go to school. Teachers attend him for home education according to the schedule made by the principle, and she is included in that schedule. She suffered from the thought that she could not visit him because she herself recently got discharged from the hospital and would have to stay home in bed for a while. However, he has no clue what she went through and will run into conclusion that she simply does not want to visit him.

      – How long is he absent?

      – Over two weeks, – school secretary Nina Ivanovna replied.

      – How many times per week am I supposed to visit him?

      – Just twice.

      When she heard it, Svetlana became upset: there was a chance to see him twice but she won’t be able to make it…

      – Svetlana Victorovna, please don’t worry. He is a smart boy and would be able to catch up by himself. What do you think? You can call him up and give him homework to check later. There is no reason to stress.

      – Of course, I shall do as you advise, thank you. Good-bye. I shall call you again.

      Sveta tried to hang up the phone a couple of times, but ended up leaving it on the table. She went to the kitchen, but instead of having water started a tea pot. Against doctor’s advice, she lighted up a cigarette. Nervously letting the steam out, she remembered the night before the car accident – every single moment of it, opening eyes sometimes only to flip the cigarette ash. She received pleasure from experiencing a feeling which was torturing her for so long that night. Svetlana perceived, not seemed but exactly perceived that she looks at situation and experiencing it totally differently. She enjoys it now. Lighting another cigarette, she clearly noticed a border in her changed feelings. She used to be under the influence of her emotions and could not control them, getting confused in words and actions. At this moment, however, she could easily be in charge and apparently understand

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