LITMIR.BIZ

      Five

      I’d thought my carsickness on the way home from the airport was because of Tiffany’s crazy driving, but once we got on 495 headed to Baltimore, it felt like Monica was zooming at a hundred miles an hour too. I gritted my teeth and clutched the door handle.

      Monica looked over at me. “You okay?”

      I nodded, then shook my head. “I think I just need to get used to being in a car again.”

      “Well, I assure you I’m a safe driver. Kevin would kill me if I let anything happen to me or his baby.” She grinned.

      It made me happy to see her so happy. When she dropped me off at the airport two years ago, I never imagined that when I got back, she and Kevin would still be married, and she’d be pregnant with his child.

      Almost as if she heard my thoughts, she said, “Remember when you were about to get on the plane to leave for Africa, and you gave me that scripture that says what Satan meant for evil, God was gonna turn it around for good and that somehow, my life would end up being better than it ever had been before?”

      I nodded.

      “Isn’t God awesome? He did just what you said. Even more than I could have imagined.”

      I decided it was a good time to broach the subject. “So, what ever happened to Bishop Walker and the guy that molested Kevin?”

      Her face clouded over a little. She gestured her head toward the backseat. “Grab that newspaper back there. You’ll see. A bunch of drama just broke. I was afraid this would happen.”

      “I read the article while I was in the airport waiting for Tiffany,” I admitted. “I was trying to see if you knew.”

      She nodded. “Yeah, I know. Kevin mailed off the letters to the Bishop’s council last July. I guess it took them this long to do their investigation and find out that what he said was true. What saddens me is that a couple of the boys that came forward have been molested in the last year. I wonder what would have happened if Kevin had come forward sooner. I wonder how many other boys there were in the last twenty years. It’s scary when you think about it. How many men’s lives were potentially destroyed like Kevin’s would have been if we hadn’t come across Exodus ministries?”

      “What if . . .” I didn’t want to mention the unthinkable.

      “What?” She glanced over at my face. “What if during the investigation Kevin’s past gets leaked out?” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I’d do. Our life has been great for the past nine months. Our marriage is better than I could have ever imagined. His first album has been off the charts since it debuted. He and our friend, David, are working on a new project with a group they’ve started down there. We just moved into our new house. And we’re gonna have a beautiful, healthy baby boy. I don’t want it to get leaked. I’m happy now, and I don’t want anything to mess that up.”

      I pried my fingers from their death grip on the seatbelt to rub Monica’s arm. “I hear you, Monnie. It’s gonna be okay. God didn’t work all this stuff out to let things go bad now. He’s gonna take good care of you guys.”

      She smiled and took my hand. I wanted to tell her to put it back on the steering wheel, but reminded myself that Monnie was the safest driver I knew, in spite of being a little heavy on the gas.

      “You’re right, God has been too faithful for me to even worry.” She put her hand back on the steering wheel. “You know the craziest part? Kevin says he wouldn’t mind. Since he finished his classes, Kevin’s worked closely with Pastor Ford, the head of the deliverance ministry who wrote the book I told you about. Kevin feels like if his story came out, he would use the platform to minister to people who have experienced sexual abuse and are struggling with their sexual identity. He says that since God sent people into his life to help him get delivered, he should reach back and do the same. He says he’d be able to represent as a successful gospel artist with a strong healthy marriage and children—that if he could overcome, so could they.”

      I considered it. “He may be right.”

      Monica gripped the steering wheel tight and squeezed her eyes shut for a second, almost causing me to have a fit. “No, I can’t handle that. I have to admit, sometimes it’s still a little embarrassing to me. And what if the gospel world rejects him and they don’t buy his albums or go to his concerts? What would he do? This might sound bad, but I’ve gotten used to being the kept wife. Other than spending a few hours a week doing personal training and step classes at me and Alaysia’s gym, I like not having to work. And when the baby comes, I definitely don’t want to work.”

      “Girl, you know that’s where me and you differ. I wouldn’t ever depend on a man to support me. I would never trust a man that much.”

      “Yeah, girl, we’re still praying for your deliverance in that area.”

      “I don’t need deliverance. I’m happy being just how I am.”

      “What, untrusting and lonely?”

      “No, independent and self-sufficient. And I’m not lonely.”

      “Girl, I don’t see how you do it. I thought I would die in the eighteen months without Kevin. I like having a man in my life.”

      I shook my head. “Naw, girl. I ain’t like that.”

      Monica snuck a peek at me. “Come on. You don’t ever get lonely?”

      I shrugged. “I always got something to do. I ain’t got time to be worried about no man. I don’t need anybody slowing me down or distracting me from my purpose.”

      Monica sucked her teeth. “I ain’t got that anointing. Maybe you’re one of those women who’s called to be single. I never realized you were like that. I just thought you were taking a break because of your battle with the fornication demon. I didn’t know you planned to stay alone forever.”

      I had to laugh. I didn’t grow up in church and before I got saved, I had my share of sexual encounters with more than a few men. Even after I gave my life to Christ, it was awhile before I could give it up. It took many days of crying out at the altar, immersing myself deep in the Word, and being mentored by an awesome women’s ministry at my new church to get free. I wasn’t ever trying to get entangled like that again.

      In spite of the number of men I had slept with in the past, I had never been in a committed relationship. On my introspective days, I had to admit that I was afraid to give my heart to a man. I never wanted to experience the heartbreak and devastation I had seen my mom go through when my father left and in the few relationships she’d had after. I don’t think she ever recovered, and I wasn’t trying to let any man mess me up for life.

      “So what about the guy in Africa then?” Monica brought me out of my thoughts.

      “Huh?”

      “Yeah, what’s his name anyway? How old is he? What does he look like? Give me some details. You know a girl needs details.”

      “There’s really nothing to tell. We got close while I was over there and ministered a lot together. But now he’s there and I’m back here and that’s all there is to it.”

      I wished that was all there was to it. Because as much as I had tried to prevent it, Gabriel Woods had maneuvered his way into a place in my heart where no man had ever been allowed before.

      “Dang, Trina. Humor me. Just give me a few details.”

      I exhaled to let her know I was annoyed by this conversation. She grinned to let me know she didn’t care nothing about me being aggravated with her relentless questions.

      “His name is Gabriel Woods. He’s thirty-nine years old. He grew up poor in Detroit, and that made him want to become an urban community developer. He transformed some neighborhoods in the inner city there

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