LITMIR.BIZ

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hands on it and prayed for it, and it woke up crying. Cancer is no big thing to God.”

      She shook her head and got up from the table. “Girl, you know I don’t believe in all that Jesus stuff. If it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go. God left this house a long time ago.”

      I knew she was referring to when my dad walked out on us twenty something years ago. She walked over to her purse and took out a pack of cigarettes and her slim gold lighter she’d had for as long as I could remember.

      My mouth fell open. “You’re still smoking?” I could barely say the words.

      She shrugged. “I got the cancer already. What difference would quitting make now? I might as well enjoy myself.”

      She clicked the lighter and put it to the end of the cigarette. She inhaled, and then blew out a puff of smoke.

      Without thinking, I rose and snatched the cigarette out of her mouth. “Are you crazy?”

      My mother’s eyes blazed, and she looked at me like I had lost my mind. “Am I crazy? You the one crazy. Girl, I don’t care nothin’ ‘bout you going to Africa. You ain’t that grown to be steppin’ to me like that. Asking me if I’m crazy.”

      I stood there, towering over her. She pulled another cigarette out of the pack. I snatched it from her before she could get it to her mouth. I snatched the pack, crumpled it and threw it in the trash. “I can’t believe you’re still smoking. I’ve been telling you about this since I was a little girl, and you still insisted on smoking. Now look what happened.”

      My mother stood there staring at me. She looked like she wanted to smack me. I had only gotten a beating once growing up. Tiffany, on the other hand, acted like she couldn’t make it a week without feeling the sting of the belt or switch.

      I stood my ground, daring her to pull out the other pack of cigarettes I knew were in her purse. Instead, her shoulders slumped and tears streamed down her face. She leaned into my chest and wept. “I’m dying, Tree. Dying. Durn cancer done spread all over my body. Doctors say I ain’t got much longer to live. The chemo can’t save me. It’s just enough to shrink it a little, but there’s too much to get rid of. The chemo can only push the time away. If it don’t kill me first.”

      I took her in my arms and held her while she shook. “You’re not gonna die, Moms. I’m not gonna let that happen.”

      It felt weird to be comforting my mother. She had always been my rock and strength. Had inspired me that there was nothing in life I couldn’t conquer. Now here she was, skin and bones. A shell of her usual strong, feisty self. I refused to look at the situation in the natural. The God I had come to know in the last two years was awesomely supernatural. There was nothing impossible for Him. Not even terminal cancer.

      I led my mother back to the table and sat her down. I smoothed my fingers across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “You’re going to be fine, Moms. Even if you don’t believe in Jesus, I have enough faith for the both of us. He’s not gonna let you die. He knows I couldn’t handle that. So if for no other reason, He’s gonna heal you just for me. And for Tiffany. Who’s gonna take care of her lazy tail if you die?”

      We both laughed. I grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them tight, then leaned over and kissed her forehead.

      “Speaking of . . .” I got up and walked over to the mail drawer where she had stuffed all the overdue bills. I pulled them out and brought them over to the table, spreading them out in front of her. “What’s going on?”

      She looked down at the table, then back up at me. “I had to leave work three months ago. You know the COBRA on my insurance is crazy high. Plus . . .” She looked down and to the right and I knew I didn’t want to hear what was coming next. Moms rarely did the eye thing because she rarely lied. She was one of those straight up people that always told the truth no matter how much it hurt. In fact, the only time she lied seemed to be when it had something to do with my father.

      “Plus what, Moms?” I gently lifted her chin so she’d have to look me in the eye.

      “Well . . . Tiffany ain’t worked steady in about three months. Since I was the one that begged you to let her stay in your house instead of renting it to somebody reliable who would pay the rent on time, I . . .”

      My heart sank. “Oh, Jesus. Moms, tell me you haven’t been—”

      She nodded and looked down at the table again. “I’ve been covering your mortgage and bills and helping Tiffany out with other stuff.”

      I let out a deep breath. “When are you going to let her grow up? The longer you take care of her, the longer she’s gonna need to be taken care of.”

      “I know, Tree. But I couldn’t let your house go under. I shouldn’t have talked you into renting to her. Just shoulda let her be on her own. Or stay here.”

      We looked at each other and cracked up.

      “Yeah, right,” I said. “Like you and Tiffy could stay in the same house for more than a week without killing each other.”

      “I know, chile. I don’t know what we gon’ do now that you’re back. I know you’re gonna be ready to put her out soon.” A worried look filled her eyes.

      “Don’t worry, Moms. We’ll work something out.” I didn’t need her concerned about Tiffany being homeless right now. I’d find a way to deal with her just to give my mother some peace.

      I fingered through the bills one by one and groaned. “Moms, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I would have come home and taken care of you and the bills and everything.”

      “And what would have happened to all those kids in Africa?” She stacked the bills and pulled them away from me. “I’m not your responsibility. I’m the mother, you’re the daughter. It’s not your job to take care of me.”

      I pulled the bills back toward me. “If I took care of you for the rest of your life, which will be years and years, I could never repay all you’ve done for me. Everything I’ve ever done, anything I’ve ever accomplished, I owe it all to you. The best mother in the world.”

      She held up her hand. “Stop with all that, girl. I ain’t done nothing but raise y’all in the ghetto and make sure you didn’t starve.”

      “Whatever, Moms. You know you’re the greatest.” I rubbed my hand over her scarved, bald head, trying to make myself get used to it. “I wished you had called me. Or at least when I called you to let you know I was staying an extra three months, you should have let me know what was going on then. Why would you let me stay longer?”

      “I figured whatever was going on was important if you decided to stay.” Her eyes twinkled. She picked up my left hand and held it. “I was hoping you were staying longer because of that man you told me about. Thought sure you’d be coming home with a ring on your finger.”

      I pulled back my hand and swatted her. “Now I know you’re sick. You encouraging me to get married? What happened to ‘men ain’t no good’ and ‘you can’t trust them for nothing but to be untrustworthy?’ ‘Give them your heart and they’ll break it for sure.’ ‘If you let a man—”

      She held up a hand to stop me. “Was I that bad?”

      My eyes bugged out. “Yeah, Moms. Worse.”

      She chuckled, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, baby. I guess that’s why neither one of y’all can keep a good man. I done filled your heads with all that poison.” She let out a slow deep breath and intertwined her fingers with mine. “I guess staring death in the face makes you think. I’ve been thinking about my life and the mistakes I made. Thinking about you girls and what I want for you. I want you to be able to get married and have a family and live a good happy life. I don’t want you to end up lonely and bitter like me. You don’t want to die alone, Tree.” Her voice cracked and her eyes teared up again. “Ain’t nothing worse than dying alone.”

      I

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