The Book Of Values - Yael Eylat-Tanaka

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sake. There is no heroism here, no seeking adulation. It is a silent act whose only reward is inwardly felt.

      “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” ~Nelson Mandela

      The brave are not braver than you or I. They do not sport a mantle brighter or stronger. Their spines are not made of steel. They have simply learned to face their enemies, confront their demons, accept that fear is a force that protects rather than destroys. The brave are simply those who have befriended their fear.

      “The best fighter is never angry.” ~Laozi

      The concept of bushido is foreign to the West. Its purest meaning is honor, or upstanding moral values. However, in the Japanese tradition of the days of the samurai, the code of bushido was deep indeed. It encompassed all of life.

      The samurai were agents selected for their bravery to protect their master. Their master could have been anyone in a position of authority, from emperor to lower-ranked officials. The importance of the samurai tradition was their complete and total allegiance to their master, in all matters, including unto death.

      The violent life of the samurai was mitigated by a philosophy of wisdom and serenity. It was their duty to defend their master to the death, but honor required that their killing be moderated by wisdom, never by anger. The tenets of bushido had to be practiced daily with study and meditation. In the words of William Scott Wilson, Ideals of the Samurai: Writings of Japanese Warriors (Kodansha, 1982), "If a man does not investigate into the matter of Bushido daily, it will be difficult for him to die a brave and manly death. Thus, it is essential to engrave this business of the warrior into one's mind well."

      Similar sentiments were expressed by Kato, a ferocious warrior, who stated: "One should put forth great effort in matters of learning. One should read books concerning military matters, and direct his attention exclusively to the virtues of loyalty and filial piety....Having been born into the house of a warrior, one's intentions should be to grasp the long and the short swords and to die."

      The code of the samurai was distinguished by eight tenets, or virtues: Rectitude, Courage, Benevolence, Respect, Honesty, Honor, Loyalty, Filial Piety, Wisdom, and Care for the Aged. Those virtues are well described in the Bible, and hold sway even to the present day.

      “The master of the garden is the one who waters it, trims the branches, plants the seeds, and pulls the weeds. If you merely stroll through the garden, you are but an acolyte.” ~Vera Nazarian

      Caring does not imply liking what you are doing. It does mean paying attention to someone or something, and mindfully helping. Caring might involve doing favors, consideration, and empathy. It is the sensitive sharing of your time and self. As the quote above implies, it is tending the roses, even if occasionally their thorns prick you, still you watch over them.

       “Don't ever take a fence down until you know why it was put up.” ~ Robert Frost

      We teach our children to look both ways before crossing the street. That is caution. However, what about when we meet a potential mate, do we proceed with caution? Do we remain alert to red flags, or do we plunge ahead carelessly? Do we examine our motives when embarking on a new venture, analyzing the potential benefits and risks of that situation? We cannot guard against every imponderable. We would not be able to get out of bed if we did. But sober investigation and attention are necessary to avoid potential catastrophes.

      “Seven Deadly Sins:

      Wealth without work,

      Pleasure without conscience

      Science without humanity

      Knowledge without character

      Politics without principle

      Commerce without morality

      Worship without sacrifice.”

      ~Mahatma Gandhi

      Gandhi was a wise man. He encapsulated the meaning of character in a few short words. Wealth without work, in and of itself, might not negate character, but what one does with that wealth is quite telling about his or her character. If that wealth leads to a life of waste and pleasure without conscience, then character is absent. Sadly, such a person does not value character as a worthy state to be cultivated. This is where caution is useful. If one were to meet a potential life mate, would his or her wealth be a selling point? Look deeper.

      “To be carnally minded is to be spiritually dead” ~David O. McKay

      Sex is all around us. Indeed, it is part of life. However, the media exalts sex as if the act were a sensation, an unusual activity. We are bombarded with images and scenes of orgiastic activity as if the directors in Hollywood invented it. Are they trying to convince us of something? That sex is fun, desirable, indispensable, or inevitable? Sexuality is natural, and the pleasure associated with it is natural. Chastity is selective, discerning sexual activity. Consider that all the creatures engage in sex, without caring or consideration for their partners. It is merely a reproductive imperative. However, for humans, to jump into bed with someone for the momentary pleasure is a base and ignoble act. Emotions are aroused during sex; lives are changed by sex; kingdoms have fallen because of sex. This is not an endorsement for celibacy; it is an invitation to a sober regard for oneself, for one’s partner, and by extension, all of society.

      “I love those who can smile in trouble...” ~Leonardo da Vinci

      Is an unpleasant experience in the morning likely to dampen your entire day? You rush to get ready for work, but the toddler has just flushed the car keys down the toilet; or the boiler developed a leak just as you prepare to leave to make your most important presentation to a new client; or you are stuck in killer traffic on a rainy day. Whatever it may be, too many among us will use such situations to be in a foul mood all day. The scenario goes something like: You have an unexpected event, get to the office and glare at the receptionist, then are curt with your secretary and slam the door to your office. You are not able to concentrate well on your work, all the time replaying the unpleasant event, which makes you even angrier as you remember the details. As luck would have it, the general manager is visiting the office, and wants to have a "word" with you. Oh, no, what did I do now? You leave your office, anxiously holding the report you submitted yesterday, and meet the general manager with a long face. Nothing untoward happens, but you are still upset. When you get home, you growl at your wife, tell your children to leave you alone because you had a bad day, and when the cat tries to slink against your legs, you kick it. You had an unpleasant morning and ended the day by kicking the cat.

      How about another choice? Is it possible to deal with these events individually and as they occur? Surely, some of them cannot be dealt with on the spot: If the boiler springs a leak, you have to call the plumber and have it repaired. However, this is merely an inconvenience. Snarled traffic? Rainy day? Make sure you leave in plenty of time given the weather conditions. Listen to the traffic report. Be proactive. In addition, if you are still late, having done your best, explain and be done with it. If your toddler has flushed your keys down the toilet on a day when you are rushing to get to work, call the plumber to retrieve them, then resolve not to leave them again within reach of the baby. Whatever it is, deal with the events themselves as they occur, learn to compartmentalize them; learn to put them in perspective. Learn to recognize inconveniences for what they are. You do not have to respond with a bad mood. No, you are not having

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