LITMIR.BIZ

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on mountains, Mommy? I want to know all about ’em before we get there.”

      Erin was still talking about mountains when Kristin herded the girls up to bed. Matt dropped his head back against the chair and stared at the ceiling, keeping his mind a careful blank until Kristin returned.

      “Did they go to sleep?”

      She sighed and dropped onto the couch. “Jenny did. Erin’s still reading. She found that book about North Carolina Indian tribes that Luke gave her and is learning all about the Cherokee Nation.”

      “Oh.” In the silence that fell between them, he argued with himself about mentioning—again—the possibility of telling Erin the truth. Nothing major had changed in their lives to warrant a new request. Kris would never agree to break the news just before the girls left for a vacation with Luke. Why say anything at all?

      Because…because the awkwardness and the dishonesty of the situation were tearing him up, dammit. He couldn’t keep quiet. “You know, I’ve been wondering if this summer would be a good time to explain…things…to Erin.”

      Kristin stared at him. “Now? Before they go away?” She shook her head. “I don’t think—”

      He held up a hand. “No, not right now. But afterward, we could go somewhere, like I said—a theme park, or maybe Stone Mountain—and talk about it while we’re there. Neutral territory, and all that.”

      “But—” Kristin didn’t know what to say. The suggestion made sense…and it terrified her. “I’m not sure Erin is…is ready.”

      Just how will you know when she’s ready?” Matt’s voice was dangerously even.

      She gripped her hands together in her lap. “Well, when she’s more accepting. When she counts less on Luke.”

      “And how’s that going to happen when she spends two weeks with him in the mountains?”

      “You liked the idea!” The words exploded before she thought them through. “ You said yes before I could even decide.”

      He shrugged and looked away. “I figured you’d agree.”

      “I’m not sure whether I would have or not. But you didn’t give me a choice.”

      “However it happened, there’s no going back. So let’s plan what to do about the rest.”

      Kristin pressed her fingertips to her pounding temples. “I don’t think I can do that right now. Why don’t we just get through the next couple of weeks, get them back home, and then figure it out?”

      “That’s what we’ve been doing for the last two years—postponing the inevitable, waiting for the ‘right’ moment. Or…” He looked over, his eyes suddenly those of someone Kristin wasn’t sure she knew. “Maybe you’ve changed your mind about ever telling her.”

      The last thing she wanted was for Matt to know that she’d considered that option seriously. “N…no. I think it’s the right thing to do. I just want to be sure that the timing is…right.”

      Gathering all her courage, Kristin met her husband’s stare. Right away, she saw that he recognized her hesitation, interpreted it correctly. His face held disappointment and anger and a deep, deep hurt.

      But he was a grown man—a soldier, in fact—who was used to dealing with difficult situations. Erin was still a little girl who needed care, understanding…protection. Whose view of the world would be forever changed when she finally knew the truth.

      “Well.” Hands pushing against his knees, Matt got to his feet. “I won’t argue with a mother’s instinct. You know Erin better than I do, so I guess you’re right.” The tone wasn’t sarcastic, but the words stung. “I think I’ll head on up to bed. Are you ready?”

      She was exhausted, yet too keyed up to sleep. “I think I’ll watch TV for a little while. You go ahead.”

      Matt lifted his chin, as if to take a punch. An instant longer he stood still, gazing at a horizon beyond the walls of the room.

      Then with his quick, long stride, he crossed to the couch. Bending, he kissed her on the forehead and briefly, on the lips. “Okay. I’ll see you later, then.”

      “G’night.” She wanted to add, “I love you.”

      But somehow she didn’t think she’d be believed.

      “IS IT REALLY wise to let Erin and Jenny go so far away?”

      Kristin looked up from folding little-girl underwear. “They’ll love the mountains.”

      Her mother picked up a pair of socks and rolled them together. “But—”

      “Just tell me what’s on your mind, Mom. Where do you see a problem?”

      “It seems strange to take a vacation apart from your children. Especially when they’re so young.”

      “That’s what happens in divorce.” She set a neat pile of laundry in the basket, then shrugged. “Strange arrangements have to be made.”

      “I wish—”

      Kristin simply waited.

      “I wish this had all turned out differently for you.”

      Didn’t they all? “How?”

      “If Matt had never gone away—”

      “He’s in the Army, Mom. That was his job, and still is.”

      “Well, maybe he needs another job. At least he could stay out of the Special Forces.” Her mother folded the last nightgown. “A man owes his wife and family consideration in matters like this. I imagine if you spoke to him—”

      “But I’m not going to, Mom.” She held her temper with an effort. “I married Matt knowing he was Army, knowing he was Special Forces. That’s a commitment I made. It wouldn’t be fair to ask him to change now.”

      A worry line deepened between her mother’s eyebrows. “But if something happens…how will you manage?”

      Kristin put her arms around the other woman’s shoulders and squeezed. So much had already happened. “I survived five years thinking Matt was dead, and I survived him coming back. I survived ending a marriage. I know the risks of Matt’s job, but I’m not going to ask him to give up the career he loves. We’ll deal with whatever comes up.”

      Irene Jennings sniffed, and returned the hug. “I just want you to be happy.” She stepped back and smiled. “Shall I make some coffee?”

      “That sounds good. I’ll take these upstairs. Be right back.”

      But in Erin’s room, Kristin sat down on the bed and put her face in her hands. Her brave words aside, she wasn’t at all sure what would happen next in her marriage, or how to face it.

      And the one person who could help—her husband—was the last person she could ask.

      ELENA BRENNAN TRACED the edge of the photograph with her finger. Matthew and Luke grinned at her from the paper, posed on the very rim of Arizona’s Grand Canyon. At twelve, Matthew had been tall for his age, gangly in the way adolescent boys are, passionately interested in the canyon and its history. He’d always been a serious, responsible child. With his father gone so much of the time on Army assignments, she’d depended on Matt as more than just a little boy. He had never let her down.

      A hand came to rest on her shoulder. Elena jumped slightly, and looked up to find her husband standing behind her. “Didn’t mean to startle you, m’dear. What have you got there?” He sat down at the table.

      She turned the album toward him. “I was dusting inside the cabinet in the family room and came across these pictures of our different vacations. We took this one at the Grand Canyon.”

      William nodded. “I remember. We lost Luke our second day there and were lucky to

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