LITMIR.BIZ

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anyone like Kai. There was something in nature that pulled at him, like he needed time each day to be alone, somewhere he could hear himself think. The city didn’t suit him at all, nature lover that he was, and his time in San Francisco had drained him and snatched the light from his eyes. I couldn’t believe he’d soon be heading back to San Fran. Cedarwood didn’t feel quite right when he was gone.

      Fairy lights blinked intermittently from window frames, brightening the somber skies. Cruz busied himself folding fresh berries into sheets of puff pastry and Amory drank gingerbread coffee like her life depended on it.

      In the silence I thought of my mom, and how she’d react when she found out that Isla had discovered the maze last night. In my heart of hearts, I knew I couldn’t bring it up today, she’d shut down and it had the potential to ruin Christmas. Mom was a sensitive soul at the best of times and the idea of telling her today made my stomach somersault. How would she react? It was hard to know how to broach it with her.

      “What are you making?” I asked as a pan sizzled, glad for the distraction. Cruz didn’t just cook for the sake of cooking, he went all out, even though it was just the four of us eating Christmas breakfast. All good practice, he claimed, because he was rusty after having worked in finance for the last ten years, and wanted to get his skills sharpened before guests started arriving at the lodge in the new year and ahead of the events we had booked.

      “It’s a berry nice Christmas tree. There’ll be a star at this end,” he said, indicating to the top of an intricately folded pastry shaped like a tree, “and I’ll serve it with lashings of Chantilly cream, and raspberry compote.”

      “I might have to walk up the mountain after eating that, to make room for lunch at Aunt Bessie’s as well. I can see today is going to be mostly about gorging, and I am totally OK with that.”

      “Me too,” Amory said, lifting her coffee mug in agreement. “After all, it’s Christmas and it would be rude not to. What time are we expected at Aunt Bessie’s?”

      “Any time before lunch. I was going to leave after breakfast and help her out…” I ignored Amory’s snigger at the idea of me attempting to help cook, “… and you guys can make your way there whenever you’re ready. Micah and Isla are spending the day with his family, but they might pop over late afternoon if they get time.”

      “And Kai?” she waggled her eyebrows.

      “Are you having another eyelash malfunction?” I asked innocently.

      She laughed. “Touché.”

      “Kai can come with me, or hitch a ride with you guys. It’s up to him.”

      With a flick of her hair, like she was considering it, she said, “Oh we’re full up, sorry. He’ll have to go with you.”

      “Is that so?” I folded my arms and stared her down, knowing she was trying to push us together, and secretly glad about it, not that I’d let her know that! “Full up with what exactly? There’s only two of you!”

      “Presents.” She waved her hand. “You know how it is.”

      Cruz deftly ignored our conversation and put the tray of berry pastry in the oven, the jammy smell of warmed fruit scented the air.

      “Well I’m sure you can squeeze him in if he doesn’t want to go so early. He might have other things to do first.”

      Like call his parents. In Australia it would be dinnertime on Christmas Day, and I wondered if Kai had called them yet.

      Were they sitting around their Christmas dinner table with long faces, trying to be jovial for guests but failing miserably, worried their son was elsewhere in the world and hadn’t made contact? I knew the whole situation was complex but Kai was too caring to let anyone suffer. Especially on such a family oriented day. Or so I hoped.

      “Darling, here he is now. Let’s ask him, shall we?” Amory gestured to the window and I caught a glimpse of Kai as he jogged past, shoulders dusted white with snow.

      A few minutes later, he walked into the kitchen. “Morning all,” he said, rubbing his hands together for warmth. His wavy blond hair was mussed from the sheeting wind and snow, his cheeks stained pink from the crisp air. If you were into rugged, super hot guys with a toned physique he’d have been right up your alley.

      Phwoar, he was certainly breathtaking to look at. Smile, act normal! The kiss from the night before replayed in my mind, and it was all I could do not to get starry-eyed and fall into a Kai daydream.

      I nodded hello, not trusting myself to speak, lest I say something inane.

      “Morning,” Amory said, flashing him a smile. “We were just discussing the logistics of Christmas lunch. Is it OK if you head to Aunt Bessie’s with Clio a little earlier than us? We’ve got some errands to run and don’t want to hold you up.”

      Errands to run on Christmas Day? She was incorrigible.

      Still, Kai swallowed the lie, “Sure, that’d be great.” When he smiled at me I pretended to be interested in a spot out the window, so I could let the blush creeping up my cheeks settle. But boy, it was hard to know how to act, or what to say, when we kept stealing kisses and then acting like nothing had happened. With Kai’s current family issues lurking in his heart, I didn’t want to be another complication and he would be leaving soon anyway. Maybe back to Australia, if they mended bridges, and did I really want to pine for someone who was that far away? It was better to protect my heart, and wait and see what happened before I plunged headfirst into anything.

      When Kai grabbed a coffee and sat next to me I tried hard to look composed. The kitchen was a cozy nook, warm from the old belching pot belly stove, and full of delicious foodie scents as Cruz cooked a feast while we chatted about every little thing. The only problem was Amory kept throwing me secret looks that any fool could see. Each time, I frowned at her, gave an almost imperceptible shake of my head. She knew Kai was leaving soon, so I don’t know what she expected me to do about it. Instead I waited patiently for the breakfast Cruz was preparing. He seemed to be whipping and baking what appeared to be enough food to feed a small country. Oh how I loved Christmas!

      “Cruz, you know there’s only four of us, right?” Amory called over as he placed another tray in the oven.

      “You can’t call it Christmas morning if there’s no monkey bread,” he said, as if we were crazy for even thinking such a thing.

      “Monkey bread?” Amory asked.

      “You haven’t had monkey bread? Please tell me you’ve at least tried Christmas tamales?”

      She gave a quick shake of her head, her candy cane earrings swinging and blinking merrily.

      “You, my lucky lady, are about to be educated on what makes a perfect Christmas breakfast.”

      I wasn’t sure what the hell monkey bread was either but it certainly looked pretty damn good. A man who could cook, and better yet was actually professionally trained in the culinary arts, was a keeper. Even undomestic goddess Amory could see it and was coming around to our small town living ways. In Evergreen, if someone cooked you food, you damn well ate it. There was no I’m on a diet here. People would frown like you were insane if you so much as uttered the words, put the dressing on the side… or hold the butter.

      Once upon a time there was zero chance Amory would have sat down and consumed so many varieties of carbs – neither would I, for that matter! In New York we’d been so accustomed to following fads. So much had changed in just a few months being back home and now she was much more lax about restrictions and would end up fighting me over the last gingerbread cookie. Another positive to living out here meant we got plenty of exercise – zooming around the grounds and inside the lodge all day every day, including trudging up the stairs a million times sure worked up an appetite, that and the abundance of fresh air, or that was my excuse anyway. Sure, it wasn’t a gym on the Upper East Side, but it was a hell of a lot prettier and a lot more fun.

      An

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