LITMIR.BIZ

      For M. My very own happy ending.

Chapter One

       May 2016

      ‘Mummy.’ The whispered voice next to her ear woke Kiki. She swam up through the layers of drowsiness, noting the darkness in the room, and wondered what time it was. ‘Mummy.’ A little shake of her shoulder added this time.

      ‘Matty? Is everything all right, darling?’ She matched his whisper, but it wasn’t enough to avoid disturbing Neil.

      He rolled over with a grumble. ‘Whatever it is, take it somewhere else. I’ve got to be up in a couple of hours.’

      Kiki slipped from beneath the quilt and used her toes to locate her slippers. After tucking her feet in the thin mules, she ushered her son towards the sliver of light shining from the landing. She pulled the bedroom door closed behind her, then crouched down to look at her beloved boy. Sweaty strands of dark-brown hair clung to his forehead and his cheeks shone with a feverish glow. He nibbled his bottom lip. ‘I didn’t mean to wake Daddy.’

      The gleam of worry in his eyes stabbed her in the heart. Neil was perfectly capable of making everyone’s life a misery at the slightest provocation. She forced a smile as she smoothed the damp hair from his brow. ‘Don’t worry about that, he’ll be fast asleep again by now. Did you have a bad dream?’

      Matty shook his head. ‘I don’t feel very—’ He cut himself off with a hand over his mouth and his whole body convulsed in a shuddering heave, sending a stream of vomit through his splayed fingers and down the front of them both. Tears of shock and upset glinted in his eyes and she scooped him up in her arms, swallowing down the echoing hitch in her own stomach.

      She carried him quickly into the bathroom and just managed to settle him on his knees in front of the toilet before another gush of bitter-smelling liquid spewed forth. ‘Poor poppet. Poor darling,’ she murmured, rubbing circles on his back as he shivered and shook. The front of her nightdress clung damply to her body, but she pushed the unpleasant sensation to the back of her mind to focus on Matty. He gasped like a little fish out of water, swallowing and panting. She knew the pattern well. This was just a brief respite in the process.

      ‘Uh-oh,’ he muttered and lurched forward again. This would be the last of it now. Kiki stroked his hair until he subsided into breathy sobs, sinking down until his head rested on the cold rim of the toilet.

      ‘Better out than in, that’s what they say.’ She rose from her cramped position by his side to rinse her hands under the tap. Grabbing a dark-green flannel from the edge of the sink, she soaked it in cold water then bent down to turn Matty towards her. ‘Look up, darling.’

      He lifted his pale little face and she held his chin in a light grip as she wiped the tears, sweat and other less pleasant things from his skin. A quick rinse of the cloth and she folded it into a square. ‘Hold this against your head a minute, can you?’ He nodded weakly and clutched the flannel with a shaky hand.

      Confident he would be okay for a couple of minutes, she left him to go and check his bedroom and fetch some clean pyjamas. His bedding and carpet were mercifully clean and she sent up a silent prayer of thanks that at least she wasn’t faced with changing the sheets at… she glanced at the LEGO Batman clock on the dressing table and winced… three a.m. Pausing at the airing cupboard on the landing, she dug out a T-shirt and a pair of leggings for herself and returned to the bathroom. A quick change and a teeth-clean and they were both soon tucked into Matty’s single bed.

      ‘How’s your tummy now, still sore?’ She feathered her fingers through his silky-soft hair. The deep-brown strands matched her own, but his soulful blue eyes were all his father’s. She’d fallen for a bigger version of those baby-blues before she’d known the truth—a twinkling look and a sweet smile could mask a monster. Neil had smiled, flirted and flattered his way into her life and she had lapped up the attention like a parched flower, blooming into a blushing, eighteen-year-old bride.

      His earnest focus on her, his need to know her every movement, had seemed exciting. He needed her with him, couldn’t stop thinking about her, worried someone else might snatch the prize of her from under his nose. Oh, the lies he’d told her had been music to her innocent ears. Like Helen of Troy and Paris, theirs was a love that would burn through space and time. Like Heathcliff and Cathy, like Jane and Rochester, nothing could keep them apart. Only she’d glossed over the ugly, hard truths of those childhood love stories in her burning need to feel special to someone.

      And how exciting for a naïve girl to capture the heart of an older, wiser man. Neil had been in his first year as a postgraduate student when they met, and at twenty-two he’d seemed a fount of knowledge and experience from the moment they bumped into each other in the Ancient Greece section of the university library. Taking a classical studies course had been Kiki’s transparent attempt to please her father, and when Neil found out she was the daughter of one of his intellectual heroes, he’d been hooked. He painted a fascinating picture of a man nothing like the withdrawn, preoccupied one who ruled her home with more neglect than care.

      A soft snore drew her attention and she eased her arm out from under Matty’s head to settle him more comfortably on his pillow. Content he was asleep, she slipped out of his bed to clean up the mess left behind on the landing carpet. Once that was done, she might as well tackle the ironing pile. She cast a quick glance at her closed bedroom door as she passed it. There was no way she wanted to risk waking Neil again, and she could always have a catch-up nap once the kids were sorted in the morning.

      ‘Mummy?’ Déjà vu. Only this time the voice was Charlie’s sweet, piping tone, still carrying a babyish lisp. And the hard, wooden table beneath her cheek was no substitute for her pillow.

      Forcing open her grit-filled eyes, Kiki tried to ignore the sick, groggy pain in her head and sat up. ‘What’s the time, darling?’ A rhetorical question to a three-year-old, but her brain was still too full of cotton wool to think straight.

      ‘It’s gone eight o’clock and I’m going to be late, thanks to you,’ Neil snapped as he stormed into the room.

      She blinked, noting his suit and tie, rather than the casual-jacket-and-jeans look he favoured when lecturing. ‘Oh, your meeting. I’m sorry, I must have dozed off.’ Jumping up, she hurried over to switch the kettle on and stuff a couple of slices of bread into the toaster. ‘Give me a minute, just one minute, and I’ll bring your breakfast to your study.’

      Neil glared at her, not an ounce of warmth in his blue eyes. ‘I already told you, I don’t have time. Which part of late don’t you understand?’ He dodged back to avoid their daughter’s attempts to clutch his legs for a hug. ‘No, Charlotte! You’ll crease Daddy’s suit.’ He left the kitchen, muttering to himself.

      Kiki leaned back against the board, wondering how she’d managed to screw up the day before it had even started. Charlie, lower lip quivering, her dark hair sleep-tangled and knotted, painted a picture of abject heartbreak. Kiki swooped on her, gathering her little girl into her arms for a tight hug. ‘Daddy doesn’t mean to be cross, Charlie. He’s just got a busy day and Mummy didn’t help by falling asleep.’ Even as the words left her mouth, she wondered why she was making excuses for him. Neil was an adult and perfectly capable of getting himself up and ready for work on time, but the default blame in the Jackson household for any problem fell squarely on her shoulders.

      She could just imagine what her big sister would have to say if she could hear her. Mia had never warmed to Neil. Kiki suppressed a bitter laugh. There she went again, painting the situation in a rosier light than it deserved. Mia couldn’t stand him. Had even tried to persuade Kiki to leave and bring the children with her to Mia’s

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