LITMIR.BIZ

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made you plunge down fifteen flights of stairs?” His voice was incredulous.

      “Well, I wasn’t seeing straight, obviously, and I just needed to get home and apply eyedrops. And then…”

      “And then…? That’s the bit I don’t understand,” he said, in a voice that shattered my heart. It was full of such longing, such concern, but unmistakably full of love. Whatever had been about to transpire that night back in Manhattan, it was obvious it had come from a place of love. And Cruz had given Amory ample time to think things over in the relative calm of Cedarwood.

      Even if it meant losing my best friend back to the big city, I hoped they’d work things out.

      “And then I got spooked, Cruz. You’ve changed so much in the last few months and I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that you suddenly want different things than you wanted a year ago.”

      He pursed his lips, nodding like she was right. “I guess it struck me that my life was great to anyone looking from the outside in, but I needed more. I don’t feel that same thrill about making big money – what am I, a glorified bean counter? It just doesn’t make me feel alive any more. That whole corporate world depresses me, working all hours, sacrificing living so I can have a fat bank balance I don’t have time to spend.”

      “So you want a different job?”

      “I want a different life, but more than that, I want you.”

      “But you want the whole package, right? A house in the ‘burbs with a big garden that needs constant attention, a traipse down the aisle, babies?”

      He didn’t answer for the longest time, and I held my breath, wondering what he’d say.

      “I won’t lie to you, Amory. I do want all of that. I want you to meet my family, for my mom to chatter away as I herd you into the kitchen and show you how to make llapingachos, which we’ll eat together huddled around the bench. I want to show you where I grew up, and how much my life changed when I moved away.”

      “That’s really sweet and all, but I’m not the type moms usually chatter away to, Cruz. I’m always too opinionated, too ambitious, too much for people, and I don’t want to pretend I’m the perfect Stepford type… I don’t want to pretend at all. I’m hopeless at being domesticated, and I think you’re ready for the cute bungalow, the soccer mom SUV, and top-of-the-range dental plan for your yet-to-be-conceived dark-haired beauties.”

      Cruz shook his head.

      “So, is your hesitation because you don’t think you’re enough, or because you don’t want that same kind of life? Because I’m telling you right now, domesticated or not, you are enough, you are more than enough, and my family will recognize that in a heartbeat.”

      And that, I thought, is how you make a woman feel loved.

      She mumbled something I couldn’t hear so I crept closer, stepping on a groove in the wood which sighed like an old man. Two sets of eyes turned sharply toward me. Damn it! I squinted and put my hands out, groping for a wall that wasn’t there.

      “Don’t try the old ‘I’m sleepwalking’ trick again. Get down here, you eavesdropper.” Amory clucked her tongue but I kept up with the charade for Cruz’s sake.

      “How much did you hear?” she asked.

      My hands fell to my sides and I slowly opened my eyes, making a show of squinting in the bright light, and adding a yawn or two for good measure.

      “Ahhh… how did I get out here?” I gave Amory a go-with-it stare. “Oh… Cruz! Welcome to Cedarwood. What a nice surprise.” I walked downstairs to greet him.

      With his jet-black hair and exotic green eyes he was every woman’s dream, and coupled with the spiel he’d just given he really was the whole package. I couldn’t see Amory’s issue – he said he wanted her, and would do whatever it was she needed to keep their relationship going. Maybe she thought him sacrificing his desires was unfair.

      “Thank God you didn’t tumble down the stairs! You might need to put another lock on your bedroom door to stop any accidents if you’re given to wandering around in your sleep.” He winked, my sleepwalking routine transparent as rice paper, and gave me a hug.

      I gave him a toothy smile. “Yes, yes, an industrial-sized lock would be good. Can I make some tea?”

      “If I’m not keeping you up?”

      “Not at all! How about you go to the front parlor and we’ll bring it in? Amory, give me a hand, will you?”

      He sauntered off and once he was out of sight I grabbed her arm and dragged her into the kitchen.

      “What?” she hissed.

      I folded my arms. “He’s driven all the way here to talk so you’re going to talk to him!”

      “We were talking until some creepy stalker interrupted!”

      I gasped. “I am not creepy!”

      She gave me a hard stare. “It was a little creepy. You may as well have donned a set of binoculars.”

      I whacked her arm playfully. “You would have done the same thing!”

      She nodded. “But I would have been a lot more subtle!”

      “OK, OK, you’re getting off track on purpose. Go talk to him and find out what he was going to say that night when you almost plummeted to your death.”

      Leaning against the counter, she folded her arms, while I brewed chamomile tea and took the last of Georges’s Christmas cookies from the tin.

      “I must admit, seeing him drive up to the house earlier was a jolt to the system. I didn’t expect him to follow me here. I could get lost staring into his eyes, and I need to keep my wits about me.”

      I sighed. “So, why keep him at arm’s length?”

      Her lip wobbled ever so slightly. “Self-preservation. I thought it might be better to make a clean break of it. There’s no getting around the baby thing. I can’t stop him wanting a family, it would be wrong to even try. Shouldn’t I let him go so he can find someone who does want the whole American dream?”

      “Amory, the least you can do is let him talk without running away this time.”

      “Yeah, I guess.” She took in a shaky breath and turned her glistening eyes to mine. “I just don’t want him to see the moment when my heart literally breaks, that’s all.”

      “Why would he?”

      “Because if he says that’s what he wants – a family – not now, not tomorrow, but in the future, I will have to say goodbye. And I love him, Clio. But I can’t change who I am. And it just isn’t right to stand in his way if he wants kids.”

      “Oh, Amory, who knew you were really such a softie on the inside? Tell him that, show him how you feel. True love always finds a way. It does!” I said to her skeptical face before reaching out to hug her.

      “OK,” she finally said. “Let me talk to him.”

      I handed her a tray with tea things and watched her walk forlornly down the hallway.

      If he wanted to start a family and Amory was adamant she didn’t want to be a mother, how on earth could they reach a compromise? Worry gnawed at me for my friend. I only hoped she’d be truthful with Cruz, and lay her soul bare. Only then could they move forward…

       Chapter Twenty-Two

      It was the day of the expo and I was jittery with nerves. Kai hadn’t been able to get back here in time to clear the chapel; clearly at such late notice it was impossible for him, so that cast a pall of angst over the day. Ned had said the brides could

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