LITMIR.BIZ

       CHAPTER ONE

      FAKE IT TILL you make it.

      Yes, sure. So easy. She did it all the time.

      Try harder. Remember yesterday’s courier delivery.

      The final lock had been undone. She was free. Single again. Two years of waiting for the legal process to finally be over. Today was the first day of the rest of her life, and it was going to be a doozy.

      That was once she worked out how to proceed with a newer, wiser, not so damned cautious version of herself that yesterday’s delivery must shut the door on. Those baby steps she’d been making were fine, but the time had come to stride out, head high, wearing a ‘don’t mess with me’ attitude. Starting now.

      Molly O’Keefe pasted on a facsimile of a smile and turned to glare into Mr Nathan Lupton’s eyes. And gasped. Those burnt-coffee eyes were spitting tacks. At her?

      ‘What’s wrong?’

       That’s your idea of don’t mess with me? Try again.

      ‘That phone call. Something I need to know?’

      ‘I’ve just spent valuable time ringing round to put specialists on alert at five-thirty in the morning for a patient who’s now been taken to another ED.’ His hands gripped his hips.

      ‘The man found lying by the train tracks?’ Surely not even he was blaming her? They weren’t friends, but this was ridiculous. The thumping starting up in her chest was deafening. No, he wouldn’t be, but he was angry.

       Not at me. I can handle this.

      Really?

      Absolutely. Fake it till—

      Yeah, yeah, she knew that line back to front. Still needed some practice, that was all. Beginning right now.

      ‘I wonder why the ambulance was redirected to another hospital when we’re closest.’

      Nathan was staring at her, though she wasn’t certain he was actually seeing her. ‘That’s something I intend finding out. It’s not happening again.’ He was still angry. Who could blame him when they’d been flat out busy when the initial call had come through? So much for the patients tapering off in the early hours. ‘Shouldn’t you be keeping an eye on Archie Banks?’ he barked.

      Odd how on her first day in Sydney General’s emergency department when he’d growled at her to get the defib, which she’d already been in the process of wheeling towards the Resus unit, she hadn’t been afraid of him. Mightn’t like him much, though to be fair she didn’t know him except as a doctor, but she was never on guard around him or ever felt threatened by his grumpiness. Which said a lot. She’d think about that later. Right now an answer was required to placate him, because placating kept everyone happy—except maybe her—but it was an old habit she’d still not managed to dump. Game face, girl. Duh. Two seconds and her promise to herself had flown the coop.

      ‘I was coming to see if you’d take another look at him. His pain level is increasing, not decreasing.’ Nathan had administered a strong dose of painkiller forty minutes ago.

      The anger softened. Of course it did. From what she’d seen around here Nathan adored children. ‘Anything from the lab yet?’

      ‘No, and I’ve only just checked,’ she added hastily, raising one of her grandmother’s glares in case he found fault with her. Another sign she might be getting her act together.

      Dark eyebrows rose in that annoying manner of his that inexplicably riled her beyond reason. Then he swallowed and pulled up a smile. ‘Sorry. It wasn’t your fault the man was taken elsewhere after I’ve been chasing my tail preparing for his arrival.’

      It wasn’t the greatest of apologies, but he had tried, and that was unexpected. ‘No problem.’ None he need know about. She had a list of them, but nothing to do with work. This was her safe place. ‘Archie?’

      ‘On my way.’ He strode off, his back ramrod straight, his jaw jutting out, yet she’d swear some of his tension had eased.

      ‘Good girl, not letting him rile you.’ Vicki nudged her, and brought her back to focusing on anything other than Mr Lupton.

      ‘You think?’ she asked around a tight laugh, her eyes still taking in the sight of Nathan despite trying to concentrate on what Vicki had to say.

      ‘I do.’ Her fellow nurse was also watching Nathan, now heading into a cubicle, and there was a thoughtful tone to her next question that unsettled Molly. ‘Still coming to breakfast?’

      ‘Wouldn’t miss it for anything.’ She meant every word, even after struggling with a strong reluctance to socialise and get too comfortable when she half expected to be nudged out of the way by people who wanted more from her than she was prepared to share. She had initially hesitated about accepting the invitation, then decided to give it a go. After all, Vicki had been friendly and helpful since she’d begun working in here two months ago.

      A flicker of excitement warmed her. Look where faking it got her. Right into the middle of her colleagues, whose good intentions had brought her close to tears on occasion, even when she didn’t trust them enough to give back anything of herself. Getting out and about with this crowd might go some way to fixing the loneliness that filled her days and nights. Not being a team player had come at a price, one that needed to be dealt with if she was to be happy again.

      ‘Molly? Can you come here, please?’ Nathan had reappeared in the cubicle doorway, back to being calm and efficient.

      Molly looked at the man and, hiding the uncertainty he created in her belly, nodded. ‘Need the phlebotomy kit?’ Her voice had returned to non-confrontational, Gran’s glare long gone. Situation normal. Previous normal. Lifting her shoulders, she reached for the bag of needles and tubes.

      Nathan’s smile might be reluctant, but it actually seemed genuine. Meaning it was further unsettling. ‘Yes. I want liver functions done while we wait for the orderly to collect him.’

      The boy, recovering from an appendicectomy last week, was back with pains in his gut and chest. Nathan suspected septicaemia and had started him on an array of intravenous antibiotics. They were now waiting for the children’s ward to collect him.

      In the cubicle, she said, ‘Hey, Archie, I’m going to find you some dry pyjamas after I’ve cleaned you up.’ With the fever drenching him continually, the boy needed regular wiping down.

      Archie was eyeing the kit with trepidation. No hiding what was coming from this kid. ‘I don’t want another needle.’

      ‘It’s annoying, isn’t it?’ Nathan said as he slid the tourniquet up the boy’s thin arm. ‘You’ll be able to tell all your friends how brave you are.’

      Molly sponged Archie’s legs, in an attempt to distract him. ‘I hope you’re not ticklish.’ Not that she intended tickling him when Nathan was about to slide a needle into a vein. That would be taking distraction to the next level.

      ‘Mum tickles me.’ Archie’s eyes were on Nathan, apprehension blinking out of his big eyes.

      ‘There, all done.’ Moments later Nathan handed her the tube of blood to name and date. ‘Mark it urgent.’

      ‘Right.’ She headed for the hub to call for an orderly to take the blood sample to

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