In For Keeps - Taryn Belle Mills & Boon Dare

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but that was before her ex-husband had crushed her dream of marital bliss and made building a new life her number one priority. She could see returning to the real world one day and starting over, but making the switch as Dev’s assistant? With him night and day, in hotel rooms with him, in his dressing room, on his tour bus, seeing him perform in all his hot glory?

      “No way,” Kiki said firmly. “And that other thing you mentioned? That’s not going to happen, either. You’re leaving in two days, and I’m going to make it my mission to stay away from you until then. Just so you know.”

      Dev gave her a slightly amused look, as if he knew something she didn’t, and then he slapped a hand down on the bar. “The offer is open until Tuesday morning.”

      As Kiki watched him walk away and disappear into the crowd, she finally began to breathe normally again. His face remained etched into her brain, as did the words she knew she’d turn over in her head over and over again in bed tonight: I want to be inside you again. Dev Stone, the man who had ruined her for all others.

      So much for getting laid tonight, Kiki thought.

       CHAPTER TWO

      ONLY SIX COOKIES LEFT? How the hell had that happened?

      Kiki stared guiltily at the Chips Ahoy! package beside the open, crumb-riddled jar of Fluff on her coffee table. She didn’t even have the decency to binge on quality junk food—not that she had much choice. Her monthly shopping trip to neighboring Barbados was due next week, and in the meantime she was forced to make do with the paltry selection at the island’s tiny, overpriced grocery store.

      A key rattled in the front door of her cottage and Kiki’s roommate, Nicola, walked in, trailed by Alex.

      Kiki reached for another chocolate chip cookie.

      Nicola gave Kiki a teasing smile as she tossed her work satchel onto the kitchen counter. “I thought you said you were cutting back?”

      “This is me cutting back,” Kiki said grumpily, sinking her teeth into the dry, crumbly sweetness. She hoped to hell that enough time had passed since her recent crying jag to allow her face to return to normal. Nicola was the best friend she’d ever had; the women had known each other for a decade, meeting in LA long before Nicola had followed her to Moretta six months ago. And Kiki was genuinely thrilled that her friend had found true love with Alex, but she really didn’t feel like explaining herself to him or anyone else right now. She must have still looked a mess, though, because Alex cleared his throat as he stood at the door. “Nicola, didn’t you say you were out of coffee? I’ll just run out and grab some. Need anything else?”

      “Nothing that comes from the store,” Nicola said, giving him a lingering kiss before he slipped out the door.

      To her horror, Kiki felt tears pricking at her eyes again. What was it about her friend falling madly in love that made Kiki feel like a total loser? Just a month ago she’d been proud of her attachment-free sex life. And then Dev had come along. Now she knew for sure that she could feel the kind of mind-blowing passion she thought only existed for others, like Nicola.

      And Kiki couldn’t have him.

      “Okay,” Nicola said, kicking her flip-flops off and dropping down on the sofa beside Kiki. “Talk to me.”

      “It won’t help,” Kiki said stubbornly, stuffing the last of the cookie into her mouth.

      “Neither will eating your way into oblivion,” Nicola pointed out, using her toe to push the package away from Kiki. “Or keeping everything bottled up inside.”

      Kiki snorted. “It’s kind of what I do—you should know that by now. Talking might help some people, but it doesn’t help me.”

      “I guess that explains why we’ve been living together for nearly seven months and you still haven’t told me why your marriage ended,” Nicola said archly.

      “I told you exactly what happened. Jack was a world-class prick,” Kiki responded, turning her face away. No—that was not a conversation Kiki was willing to have right now, if ever. “Anyway, it’s not true that I don’t tell you anything. I told you all about my sad-luck childhood that night we drank way too much tequila. And it didn’t make me feel any better, FYI. Just saying.”

      “That’s because you had a hangover the size of planet Earth the next day. Just saying,” Nicola retorted. “Now tell me what’s going on with you. You’ve been acting weird ever since that night at Dev’s—which is understandable,” she added quickly. “I mean, I was traumatized, too. But it does make me wonder, is it those slimeballs that’ve still got you down, or is it Dev?”

      “Dev? I’m a little smarter than that, but thanks. Even if I was looking for a boyfriend—which I’m definitely not—he’s pretty much the last person on earth I’d get involved with.”

      “Oh, yeah? And why is that?”

      “Why? Are you even—”

      “Dev is a good guy, Kiki—he’s Alex’s brother! And you like him.” She shook her head. “I mean, have you ever noticed that the term rock star is not synonymous with single? Have you ever noticed that they get married and have kids just like everyone—”

      Kiki felt herself flush. “Oh, my God! Will you please shut the fuck up?” She took a deep breath. Dev was only one of her problems, and Nicola clearly wasn’t going to let up until she spilled something to her. “Okay, fine. It’s...it’s my mother.”

      Nicola looked at her in shock. “Your mother?”

      Kiki nodded rapidly to stop the threatening tears. There were only three people she’d ever shared the story of her mother with—her ex-husband, her high school best friend Laina, and, during a late-night drinkfest years ago in LA, Nicola. “Yes. I... I think I might have found her.”

      Nicola jumped up excitedly. “Oh, my God! Are you serious? That’s amazing! How? Where is she? Have you gotten in touch—”

      “No, no, no.” Kiki waved an impatient hand. “This just came up. I found a website for a real estate agency, and one of the agents is named Victoria O’Hare. That’s her maiden name, and it’s possible she stopped going by Vicky. And—I don’t know, but there’s a photo of her. The last picture I have of her is from twenty-four years ago, but...this woman has red hair.” Kiki shook her head and then dropped it into her hands. “I’m terrified, Nic,” she said through her fingers. “Freaking terrified. I wish I never looked. I didn’t—for two years I didn’t, and then I had to go and start again.”

      “That’s because she’s half of you,” Nicola said gently, placing a hand on Kiki’s arm. “You moved here to heal, but this place also allowed you to bury the things in your life you didn’t want to look at. But they come back—they always come back. You need closure with her.”

      “But what if she wants nothing to do with me? I’m too scared to email her. What if she doesn’t write back? Or what if I scare her off and she goes into hiding again? What—what if she just doesn’t want to hear from me? I mean, she knows my name—she named me! If she wanted anything to do with me, she could have reached out anytime. It’s been twenty-four years, and nothing.”

      “Oh, honey...” Nicola reached for her hand. “You for a daughter? She doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

      Tears flooded Kiki’s eyes. “But that’s the whole point—she does! She’s the one who left me, remember? I was six years old. She knew exactly what she was doing.”

      “But she didn’t leave you alone,” Nicola reminded her. “She knew you had your father, and he’s an amazing dad. Listen...” She tightened her grip on Kiki’s hand. “You need to meet with her in person—just show up at her work and force her to see

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