LITMIR.BIZ

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bring tea?”

      The thought of being still, lying supine, did sound appealing. “Are you sure?”

      “I’m sure.”

      “Come on then, Amory,” I said, dragging at her arm, desperate to lie down and chat lazily.

      Slowly, like old women, we climbed the stairs. “You know, it hurts to wear heels these days. I suffer afterwards.”

      She gave me a bemused smile. “We sure did some miles in them. And going up and down these goddamn stairs every five minutes… We’re going to have some serious calf muscles.”

      I thought of my wardrobe, packed with couture clothing, and various heels from kitten to stiletto… and all I wanted to wear these days were my yoga pants and ballet flats. To hell with keeping up with fashion. I didn’t have to do that any more, and I didn’t much care either.

      We settled in the library, the scent of old tomes mixing with the perfume of rose posies scattered around the room. Our brides had loved the library – those with bookworm in their blood, anyhow. From my vantage point on an old, crinkled-leather Chesterfield I could see the snow-covered mountains and the frozen lake at their base.

      Flashing fairy lights brightened the room, and I turned to Amory, who had her hands clasped over her belly, her lids heavy like she’d taken a sleep draught.

      “It was great of Cruz to stay and help out. Without him I don’t know what we’d have done.” Neither Amory nor I could cook worth a damn, and Aunt Bessie had her donut table to attend to and brides to entertain. All of us had had jobs to do and, without Cruz’s culinary expertise, we’d have been in real trouble.

      Sleepily she said, “He told me last night that he quit his job. That’s why there was a delay in him arriving at Cedarwood. He had to give them notice.”

      “He quit his job? Why?” As far as I knew he thrived on the fast pace of high finance.

      “He seems to think it was our downfall, the reason we haven’t taken the next step… Because we’re always too caught up at work. He’s sort of got a point.”

      I nodded. “Big-city burnout.” It reminded me of Kai, and his feeling of being on a never-ending Ferris wheel. Was it worth it? I’d loved my job at the agency, and hated that my exit hadn’t been my choice, but after buying Cedarwood and making a life back in Evergreen I was happier every day that the decision had been made for me. New York and that frenetic pace were a million miles from here and I didn’t miss it any more. Instead, I felt a type of apathy about it. We’d all been so caught up in racing to be the best that we’d lost our way – or at least that’s how I felt now.

      “What will he do?”

      “He’s got savings, so he’ll live off that for the moment, until he decides – but I suppose he can be a chef, or at least use those skills somewhere, and you can tell by his pizzazz in the kitchen under pressure yesterday how much he loves doing it. He had fire in his belly again. It was lovely to witness that.”

      I sat bolt upright. “But what about for Cedarwood?”

      She frowned. “You’d hire him? I thought that was just a ruse to get people to sign up – say ‘yes’ and all that?”

      “Oh my God, no! I was totally serious. He is more than qualified. I mean, you saw him yesterday, he didn’t even break a sweat, just got the job done as if he’d planned the menu himself.”

      “Don’t you think that’s too neat? We have problems, he shows up, boom he’s hired. Do you think it’ll make me change my mind?”

      I leaned back into the chair and pulled a rug over me. “Do you want him to stay?”

      She waited a beat. “Yes.”

      “Then why not?”

      She sighed. “I worry I’m losing my identity, you know, and I get how uppity that sounds, but I thought I knew who I was. Thirty-something, career-driven, ambitious event planner to the stars. I had rules, so that vision stayed firmly in place. And now look at me…”

      I smiled, and gave her arm a pat. “I know exactly what you mean, Amory. When I crept out of the city totally humiliated, I thought my dreams were done for. My confidence was wrecked. But it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And you’re lucky you chose to leave. No one forced you. What do you want to be, Amory? That same girl, keeping the world at arm’s length, or pulling those she loves closer?”

      “Oh, you and your Hallmark clichés.” She grinned. “I want to stay here, and never leave, Clio. Truly. I don’t know if it’s Cedarwood’s spell, or if I’ve been living on autopilot in New York, but I love it here. I’ve never felt so at home. But how do I do that? Give up my job, my apartment…”

      “Why couldn’t you stay here, Amory? Sublet your apartment if you’re not one hundred percent sure. And as for Cruz… Why not take it one day at a time? He’d be doing us a huge favor if he did stay on.”

      “It would be fun to help you here long-term. The possibilities are endless.”

      “Then stay. I need your help, and I’m prepared to beg for it.”

      She laughed. “And Cruz?”

      “Chef Cruz, it’s got a nice ring to it.” Her eyes twinkled and I knew she was thinking about it.

       Chapter Twenty-Three

      The next day I worked for a few hours, updating social media, emailing our brides to thank them for attending the expo, and caught up on the accounts. I thought about how to get some more bodies in beds, so I created some discounted package deals and uploaded them to various travel websites.

      In the quiet of the office, I thought of Mom, and the sadness that consumed me at times that I could never share any of this with her. Why couldn’t she be who I needed her to be and vice versa? When I’d first come home, I’d imagined us sitting side by side in the office, dreaming up marketing campaigns, new events for our guests, and window-shopping for sumptuous furniture we’d buy when our funds were in surplus. Instead, the lodge was like a cuss word, and we avoided any talk of it.

      It was high time that changed. I grabbed my scarf from the coat hook, and wound it on, pulling on my coat, and donning a red knitted beanie. It took an age for the car to warm up in the freezing temperatures, but when it did, I took the drive very slowly indeed, slowing more as I drove past houses decorated to the hilt, inflatable reindeers blowing sideways in the bracing winds, and colored lights shining from windows. Wreaths decorated front doors, like a welcome home.

      Twenty minutes later, I pulled into Mom’s driveway, and shut off the engine. I rapped on the front door and got no answer. I called her cell, and she answered after the first ring. “Hello, Clio.”

      “Mom, I’m at your house, shivering in the porch. Where are you?”

      “I’m at Puft with Bessie. She needed a hand with some orders. Grab the spare key, it’s out back under the mat, and I’ll be home in about half an hour, OK?”

      “Thanks, Mom. See you soon.” I felt a real pang of surprise, and happiness. Normally Mom would have said she was out and that was that. To have her come home on my account was definitely a step in the right direction.

      After finding the key, I let myself in. The cottage was as pristine as ever, everything in its place and a place for everything, as my Aunt Bessie used to say, good-naturedly teasing Mom’s tendency to clean everything within an inch of its life.

      In the kitchen, I detected the faint smell of coffee. I rifled through the pantry to find some coffee beans. The one thing Mom always had in bulk was coffee. She might run out of food without much concern, but her coffee stash was always healthy. Finding the coffee, I pressed buttons on the machine, but it came up with an error code. I frowned, pressing more buttons, wondering

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