LITMIR.BIZ

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      TWO HOURS AND FIFTY-FIVE minutes later, Jesse pulled into the parking lot of the McDonald’s and sent warm, fuzzy mental vibrations to whomever had decided that a big play area in the fast-food place was a good idea. Mothers around the country, maybe around the world, had benefited from the chance to let their kids out of the house in a safe play environment that supplied caffeine and French fries. What could be better?

      Gabe practically threw himself out of his car seat. “Is he here? Is he here?”

      “I don’t know,” Jesse said, nearly as excited as Gabe, but for very different reasons. Matt had been the only man she’d ever loved. Their most recent meeting had been awkward and difficult. She was hoping this one would go better.

      To that end, she’d resisted the need to change clothes four hundred times. Not that she had anything fabulous to wear. Her world was one of jeans and T-shirts or sweatshirts, depending on the season. There wasn’t any money left over from say, buying milk, to fill her closet with designer anything. She made do with what was on sale or in decent shape at the local thrift store. Besides, this meeting wasn’t about her. It was about Gabe meeting his father for the first time.

      They walked into the McDonald’s. She saw Matt right away. He was the only guy in a suit. He rose and faced them.

      God, he was good-looking, she thought taking in the chiseled features and dark eyes. He had an air of confidence and power that she imagined most women would find irresistible. Yet she knew a side of the man the rest of the world didn’t see. She knew what made him laugh, what pissed him off, how he liked to be kissed and touched and how she could literally bring him to his knees if she …

      Or she had, she reminded himself, fighting the need to touch him, to step into his embrace and have him hold her. He’d been the only person on the planet who could make her feel safe. Five years was a long time to miss that feeling, but it was something she was going to have to get over. This Matt was a stranger to her. She didn’t know him anymore and she was going to have to remember that.

      He barely looked at her, instead focusing his considerable attention on his son. Gabe walked up to him and smiled.

      “Are you my daddy?”

      “Yes,” Matt told him.

      But he spoke without emotion and didn’t smile or bend down to get on Gabe’s level. Her son stepped back and frowned.

      “Are you sure?”

      “Yes.” Matt turned to her. “We’ll be doing a DNA test.”

      “Sure.” She’d offered it before. Why would she mind now? But what about Gabe? Why was Matt acting like this? Didn’t he plan to get to know his …

      Then she remembered the disgruntled Electra and knew that Matt’s actions had nothing to do with him being a jerk and everything to do with his lack of experience with children. He didn’t know how to talk to a four-year-old boy.

      She relaxed and put her hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” she told her son. “It’s like the first day of school, when you don’t know anyone. It feels funny inside, but you know you’re going to be friends, right?”

      Gabe shot her a look that spoke of disappointment. She remembered how Paula had welcomed him, literally with open arms.

      She dropped into a crouch. “He’s nervous,” she whispered, although she wasn’t sure if she cared if Matt heard or not. “You’re his first little boy. So maybe we can give it time. He’ll get used to you.”

      Gabe sighed. “Can I go on the slide?”

      “Sure.”

      She watched him go and wondered if Matt cared that he’d disappointed his son. She knew Gabe had been hoping for something more than a semi-formal introduction.

      She moved to a table where she could keep an eye on the play area. Matt hesitated, then followed. He’d seen his kid—did he consider the meeting over?

      “He’s doing really well,” she said, deciding to just start talking. “He’s been in preschool for a year now and it’s been great. He’s highly verbal and outgoing. He makes friends easily. The teachers like him.”

      Matt looked at her rather than Gabe. “He must get that from you.”

      “Maybe. He’s good at math, which is probably your doing.” She hesitated. “This has got to be strange for you. Seeing him like this. He’s probably not even real.”

      “He’s real enough.”

      So Matt wasn’t going to make it easy. “What do you want?” she asked. “Have you figured that out?”

      He stared at her. “An interesting question.”

      “We should probably set up some time for you two to get to know each other. You don’t have a lot of experience with children, but that’s okay. The two of you can work it out as you go.”

      “You sound very sure of yourself.”

      “He’s an easy kid to be with.” She smiled. “I want this to go well, Matt. You’re his father. That means so much to him.”

      Jesse sounded earnest and sincere, Matt thought grimly. There was a time when he would have been young enough and stupid enough to believe her. Not anymore. She was playing him, which was fine. He was going to play her right back. He just had to decide how.

      He followed her gaze and saw her watching the kid. Gabe had stopped to talk to a girl about his size. They were laughing, then the two of them went to the slide together. Jesse smiled, as if pleased by the exchange.

      She didn’t look all that different, he thought. Still blond, blue-eyed and pretty. She looked like she belonged on a surfboard, or modeling as a milkmaid. When she turned and caught him watching her, she smiled again. An easy, shared smiled. As if they had something in common. As if she’d never betrayed him.

      “Gabe has a way with the ladies,” she said. “I’m worried about how that will play out when he gets older, but one problem at a time, right?”

      Matt nodded, not interested in Gabe, except as a means to an end.

      “Why now?” he asked.

      She didn’t pretend to misunderstand him. “Gabe’s been asking about you for a while now. I wasn’t going to lie and tell him you were dead, so I told him the truth. That you didn’t know about him.”

      “But I did know. You told me.”

      “You didn’t believe me.” She dropped her gaze to the floor. “I understand why. I mean, sure, it hurt, but given my past, I shouldn’t have been surprised, right? Telling you I loved you wouldn’t have changed anything, would it?”

      She looked at him, all wide-eyed and hurt, as if remembering distressed her. Did she really think he would buy that?

      “I hoped you’d think about it later and maybe wonder, but you didn’t,” she continued. “So we’re back and we’ll figure this out.” She rose. “Could you watch him while I get him a snack?”

      She was gone before he could say anything, leaving him responsible for a four-year-old kid.

      Matt sat in his seat, not sure what he was supposed to do. What did he know about children? He turned his attention to Gabe, but the boy hadn’t noticed his mother was gone. Instead he continued talking to the little girl. They were playing with a big truck and laughing.

      A few minutes later, Jesse returned with milk, two coffees and a yogurt parfait. She handed one of the coffees to Matt. Gabe ran up and pointed at the parfait. “Is that for me?” he asked with a grin.

      She ruffled his hair. “I’ll share. Oh, look. Your shoe’s untied.”

      Gabe looked at Matt, then bent down and slowly, carefully, tied his shoe. Jesse watched anxiously, as if this was a big deal. Matt realized he didn’t know when kids

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