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looked shocked.

      Hallie was speechless.

      But she already knew what Nate had to be thinking. Of course it was possible for both of them to put their careers on hold until Ahn was readopted. Janet and David had made it possible.

      But money wasn’t the issue here.

      The issue for Hallie was becoming a full-time parent. Hallie couldn’t even fathom it. A claustrophobic sensation rose in her. Every day spent locked in a house with her only focus a child with limited communication skills? And she couldn’t fathom someone as restless as Nate being stuck at Wedge Pond and helping her take care of a baby.

      “I appreciate the advice, but we will be hiring a nanny,” Hallie told her firmly. She reached into her purse and handed over the form Greg had given them. “Greg said you would help us fill this out for the adoption agency.”

      Dr. Langston took the paper but the look she gave Hallie said she wasn’t through. “I’ll be happy to help you. And maybe as we go over the parental requirements Ahn will need, you’ll reconsider your decision about the nanny.”

      Don’t count on it.

      If Janet and David had thought Hallie and Nate were capable of raising their daughter, they wouldn’t have assigned their siblings the role of guardian with the task of finding new parents. But Janet and David hadn’t and that, to Hallie’s way of thinking, was proof enough that she couldn’t provide the care Ahn required. So Dr. Langston was not going to lay some guilt trip on her sufficient enough to make Hallie embrace a role she knew absolutely zero about. She’d never even been a babysitter as a teenager. Kids had always been Janet’s thing, not hers.

      Dr. Langston reached for a pen from the holder on her desk. “I don’t know how much David and Janet shared with you about how Ahn spent the first eighteen months of her life in the orphanage. There were too many children and not enough staff, so only Ahn’s basic needs were met. Human contact was limited to when Ahn was fed or when she was changed. And since babies are immobile, they always get the least attention. Ahn’s days were spent alone in a crib, left to entertain herself.”

      She paused. “That was the bad news. The good news is that there is nothing physically wrong with her. David and Janet have had her to the best pediatric specialists available and she’s perfectly healthy. She has a lot of catching up to do developmentally, but she’s a very bright child. With the right parental support she’ll thrive and she’ll be on par with her peers by the time she starts school.”

      She checked a box on the form. “I’m recommending a stay-at-home parent on this form. Ahn’s best chance for overcoming her problems is a parent who can give Ahn the attention she needs. And by attention, I mean the daily verbal, cognitive and physical exercises Ahn has been receiving these past six months.”

      She opened a desk drawer and pulled out a thick bound notebook that she handed directly to Hallie. “This notebook gives you a concise description of the exercises Janet has been following. Take this copy in case Janet’s has been misplaced.”

      Reluctantly, Hallie took it. The size of the book represented a level of responsibility and dedication she had never given another human being. This was where Janet had excelled. She’d been so compassionate and caring, so willing and able to pull people under her wing and foster them until they were strong enough to stand on their own. With her as a mommy, Hallie had no doubt Ahn would have been a match for any kid in her classes.

      But that was Janet’s forte, not Hallie’s. Hallie organized action and information. She could pull together all the unruly and disparate pieces that her show required and execute it flawlessly. She dealt in the realm of theory and ideas. People? Not so much.

      This book seemed to shout all of her inadequacies loud enough for all to hear. She set it on the floor by her purse, thinking she’d read it later when she wasn’t feeling so overwhelmed.

      “Ahn’s daily activities are also why I feel so strongly that one or both of you should fill in as a stay-at-home parent. Since Janet stayed with Ahn, she might connect better with you, Hallie. And while I appreciate that you could hire a female nanny, I fear if Ahn’s care is turned over to someone who has no personal interest in her, she will receive little more than what she received at the orphanage. Only her basic needs will be met. That could result in Ahn regressing instead of moving forward. She needs the support of someone who is fully committed to her improvement. What she doesn’t need is someone who takes care of her only in order to earn a paycheck.”

      “Greg mentioned it was possible that Ahn’s delayed speech development could make it more difficult to find parents for her,” Nate said. “Do you agree?”

      “Unfortunately, yes,” she said. “But as I mentioned before, Ahn is a very bright child. If you take this opportunity to work closely with her, the speech problem may take care of itself.”

      She checked another box. “Again, because of Ahn’s special needs, there should be no other siblings. The parents need to be able to devote their full attention to Ahn without any other distractions. As she gets older, siblings would actually be a benefit to her.”

      Deb paused and considered Hallie and Nate. “I’ve been referring to parents in general so far. It’s quite likely you’ll want Ahn’s prospective parents to mirror what she had—a mother who stays at home and a father who works out of the house. If that’s the case, here are some things to look for. The best father for Ahn won’t travel, and will be at home at night. All children need a strong male presence, but Ahn needs consistency. A father she sees only on weekends can’t provide that. Nor can a workaholic father. Ahn needs a father who is willing to be one hundred percent involved in her overall care. And she needs a father who wants a child because he’s ready to be a father, and not because his wife wants to be a mother.”

      She paused again. “To put it bluntly, more than half of the adoptive fathers I work with go through the adoption process only to please their wives.” She looked at Nate. “I can assure you, your brother wasn’t one of them. David was one of the most committed fathers I’ve ever worked with. Ahn was shy and withdrawn around him at first, but she quickly became attached. In order to lessen the void Ahn feels in her life right now, it would help if you filled in so she still has that strong male presence and will be better able to bond with her new father.”

      “I’m confused,” Hallie said. “How do you expect us to determine whether a man is ready to be a father for the right reasons? It isn’t likely he’s going to admit that to us even if we asked.”

      “True,” Deb said. “Hopefully you’ll pick up on any red flags when you meet the applicants face-to-face.”

      Hallie had no reply—she was too overwhelmed.

      Dammit, where had her mind been? Why hadn’t she realized before now how hard choosing parents for Ahn was going be? How much was at stake?

      Of course, Hallie already knew the answer.

      Until now she’d seen her role as a supervisory one, directing other people the way she did on the job. But she’d never envisioned herself doing all the tasks Janet had on a daily basis.

      “That takes care of most of the form,” Dr. Langston said, checking a few more boxes. “These last four questions are ones the two of you need to answer based on your personal preferences. They have nothing to do with my professional opinion.”

      She poised her pen over the paper. “Are you open to older parents? Or do you prefer younger parents?”

      “Mid- to late-thirties, I guess,” Nate said, looking over at Hallie. “The same age as David and Janet?”

      “I agree,” Hallie said.

      “Number of years you feel the couple should be married?”

      “At least five years?” Hallie suggested.

      Nate nodded.

      “The lowest income level you’d consider?”

      “No

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