LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

moral centre, but processes, and the work of the natural chemicals on their thoughtless, secretive course through the bloodstream. So I will dispense with self-pity, and seek no sympathy either, but merely expect from you a dim comprehension of the indifferent facts to follow. How else can one acknowledge death except to prepare for it by translating the details? And yes, my vanity will strive to appall the perverts with these proceeds, but as is often the case one succeeds only in titillating the puritans for the effort. We hadn’t made love in months, she and I. Though that is neither

       A Modest Sum

1

      Several Takes

      Being negatively capable,

      can I rightly consider myself

      a perishable non-food item or novel

      element in this repetitive

      environment? While exploring northern

      forests, or vacationing along

      the Atlantic seaboard? Then, I am

      also a featherless biped, prone

      to realizing I’ll never play the Dane,

      nor ever again sing ‘By the Rivers

      of Babylon’ in my boyhood kitchen. Also,

      when I say ‘I’, I could be referring

      to someone else entirely, having mistaken

      him for me, as seen from a deceptive angle

      or too great a distance. His past is

      a composite of anecdotes rigged

      with discarded set dec. Crossing

      a room’s threshold, he’ll forget his purpose

      and cling to an ideal version. He wears

      a louche smirk as if he’s watching

      a film in which he plays no role. You know,

      of course, when I say ‘he’ who I mean.

      His shadow precedes him, describing

      the directions he may take in a voice

      quieter than the wind not blowing

      and no one stepping across fresh snow.

      Even

      Stefan springs forth without remainder. After work

       he hits the Classy Chassis. Everyone looks vaguely familiar.

      And the food’s better than, which is the enemy of antecedent

       good. He slots a quarter and the automated fortune teller

      relates intrinsic truths:

      Ha ha ha, it talks! Ha ha ha. Drowning

      the gallantry of well-spoken women who prognosticate

       near the unplayable jukebox. Across the frozen pond

      in Brown’s yard the bronze-cast goat brandishes a bolt

       for an asshole, licence plates dangle from the blow-torched tree.

      Plus a moose silhouette. Each sculptural detail furnishes

       a surreal idea of nature for this quarry town. Or for Brown.

      From the tailings sluiced off the valuable leach,

       from the wonderfully obvious main drag scene,

      from frequent maladies, not Stef’s, except for chronic gout,

       from the unknown emergencies of his neglected teens,

      he assembles his philosophy, his will. The notion actions

       make a man doesn’t apply, he’s cancelled them out.

      The remainder springs forth obliviously without Stefan.

      Ha ha ha, it talks! Ha ha ha. Sure, it’s not that funny, but still.

      Odd

      Then unbuoyant dread at the all-night

       hot-dog stand. On the woozy cab ride home

       the street turns trampoline, Olympic updates

      play on ethnic radio. Cars lurch to the stops

       like relics waiting for an archivist with foresight.

       Sewer smells, primary, combine then cancel out.

      Faces of the passersby broadly range

       the zone of cranky and dissatisfied. What

       happens badly comes in threes but never

      does triangulate, while they waver, gather

       patternless at crosswalks, not as sums

       of chance but slim chances held against.

      Probably, we’re told, it’s not success

       or doing our job well that counts, but

       to recuperate from unexpected failures.

      The business district’s scrapers look like saints

       about to levitate, every ad’s in love with us;

       condo cranes are angels poised again to strike.

      Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.

      Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».

      Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.

      Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.

/9j/4AAQSkZJRgABAgEASABIAAD/4Ro1RXhpZgAATU0AKgAAAAgABwESAAMAAAABAAEAAAEaAAUA AAABAAAAYgEbAAUAAAABAAAAagEoAAMAAAABAAIAAAExAAIAAAAeAAAAcgEyAAIAAAAUAAAAkIdp AAQAAAABAAAApAAAANAACvyAAAAnEAAK/IAAACcQQWRvYmUgUGhvdG9zaG9wIENTMyBNYWNpbnRv c2gAMjAxMzowMjoyMSAxNjo1MzowNgAAA6ABAAMAAAABAAEAAKACAAQAAAABAAAB9KADAAQAAAAB AAAC2wAAAAAAAAAGAQMAAwAAAAEABgAAARoABQAAAAEAAAEeARsABQAAAAEAAAEmASgAAwAAAAEA AgAAAgEABAAAAAEAAAEuAgIABAAAAAEAABj/AAAAAAAAAEg

Скачать книгу