Shades of Islam - Rafey Habib

Скачать книгу

      In depths of understanding is

      What creates me again, anew,

      Moulds me from within, as Spirit

      Shapes Form. Let me be Your

      Slave, not in letter only but in soul,

      In knowing. Let its flame

      Burn deep within to quench all other flames,

      Let its tip of brilliance be my word

      Flickering at the edge of Your Word,

      Blazing at the core of my heart.

      For years, the darkness has draped me,

      Enshrouded in the high mantle of night.

      Darkness of idols, worship of Mammon,

      Abuse of orphans, widows, women.

      Here, from the mountain, I see a darkness

      Enfolding the world. Yet now

      Another darkness descends on me,

      A beating of wings, shuddering,

      Beating in my own breath, heart, soul:

      Shadows everywhere, all shadow.

      What moment is this, opening into

      The very soul of time, what mode of time

      Unfolding breath of

      Eternity. God. Worlds above, worlds

      Upon worlds. What weight of universe

      Descends, spreading through me,

      Breathing through my lips

      A voice from so high yet so deep within

      Shuddering in Angel breath: O vision

      At the edge of vision, wherever I turn

      My dark horizon is lit with form of Angel,

      Forcing me, wherever I turn, he stands,

      Blinding, colossal, power of light:

      Archangel.

      All the forces of mountain and desert

      Cry into my heart; the black sky

      Thunders in my throat:

      All the sources of life, all sense, all

      Reason, beauty, the sublime,

      Freeze in this moment, in this cave,

      All resources of language, lips, eyes, hands

      Flow and freeze in this one command:

      Read! Echoing inside me, pounding,

      Read! My own voice. I hear

      Myself, from deep within:

      I cannot, I cannot read.

      Again the echo, pressing louder, harder:

      Read! The word, the world, bites

      In my head, my frame shivering yet

      Numb: I cannot read. Read!

      Read in the Name of Thy Lord...

      Read.

      Prophet of God, I am

      Steeped in the things

      Of sin, and wrong:

      Unworthy to stand

      Beside you,

      Or even to sing in

      Your praise.

      Prophet of my heart, my

      Verse is beneath you, my

      Only skill, bequeathed by

      Birth, perturbed dreams

      Of your nights and days.

      How can I come near

      The cloak that wraps you,

      When fear dries my throat,

      When I know Who spoke

      In your hearing.

      How can I read, or

      Understand, when I live

      At the edge of His commands,

      When my sins need

      To feel Him forgive?

      Where will I find help;

      Where will I know the

      Good in Self; where

      Will I not be alone, if not

      In the places you

      Have known?

      If I stand, arrayed,

      Against my own desire,

      For fame, prestige, wealth,

      Will your shield defend

      My faith, against the fire,

      Against my own, lower, self?

      If I come stumbling,

      Across desert and

      Grey seas; if I humbly call

      Across the sands, will you

      Reach for my hand?

      Prophet of God,

      Do not turn away from me;

      Stay… say a prayer for me:

      Unworthy to sing

      In His praise.

      Prophet of my heart,

      My lonely art, companion

      Of my unworthy

      Nights and days.

      Poor, my prophet, are my words:

      The sole adorners of this soul.

      Unsure, I thought I saw you, once

      When Night had clothed me

      In her holiness:

      This darkness is not for me alone

      But glints along the desert’s edge.

      In the far corners I sought you,

      Of worlds which sing in our nearing;

      Inside my own heart I fought you,

      In sin that smiles, overbearing.

      Let me see the blindness that comes

      From light, the life that comes from death;

      Let me know the sorrow that numbs

      My body, to feel my soul’s breath.

      Let me hear your voice in silence;

      Let your shadow blind our pale sun;

      Bring me to the End of ends, whence

      Our souls can show what they have done.

      Let the far corners know Your Name,

      Lost amid shrines, feet searching through Night;

      Let your brilliance nearing blind my shame,

      Let my blindness live in your Sight.

      When I am weary of this life’s striving,

Скачать книгу