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at network programmers. I made my point and did so with humor.

      Now you try it.

       reading assignment

      Google the following. Look at the construction and pacing of the various essays. Wh at are the authors' points of view? Are they clear? Are they clever? Are they amusing?

      

Larry David's New York Times op-ed piece: “My War”

      

The Borowitz Report by Andy Borowitz

      

Maureen Dowd's New York Times op-ed piece: “To Tweet or Not to Tweet”

      

Will Durst (willdurst.com)

      

Carl Hiaasen's columns in The Miami Herald

      

Dave Barry (davebarry.com)

      

Woody Allen's New Yorker pieces: “Tails of Manhattan,” “Think Hard, It'll Come to You,” and “Udder Madness”

      

Madeleine Begun Kane (madekane.com)

      

Bill Shein (reasongonemad.com)

      

Tom Purcell (tompurcell.com)

       writing assignment no. 1

      Come up with 10 ideas for a short humor piece. Choose the one you like best and write an essay of 500-750 words. 12 pt. Courier. Double-spaced, which equals three pages.

       writing assignment no. 2

      Write a satiric opinion piece on something that irritates you. 500-750 words.

       writing assignment no. 3

      Write a satirical essay for The Onion. Either go online and check out their website or if you have access to the paper, study it cover to cover. Look at the length of the pieces. Most are short. Some are longer. Some work very well; some don't. Ask yourself why you laughed at some and didn't at others. Then write one.

       Something You Should Know that's Not Big Enough to Deserve Its Own Chapter

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      Why Blogs Were Meant for Fledgling Comedy Writers

      As far as I'm concerned there are two kinds of blogs: those that offer information on learning or improving on a skill, and those that are chronicles of a person's life.

      Some of the latter are entertaining as hell and are fun to read. Many of these are directed at a niche audience. New moms, new dads, retirees, cooks, tell-alls about different professions. However, most of these kinds of blogs are about the minutiae of someone's life, i.e., “I found a bug in my hamburger today,” or “Checked out the campus of Penn State today,” or “Last night's episode of Big Bang Theory was awesome.”

      Who reads these things I don't know, but I do know that the blogs I read are for entertainment and education in areas I'm interested in: movies, television, and cooking.

      People who want to begin their comedy-writing career with short humor should start a blog. They're easy to construct and free. Find your niche and start posting short pieces. Give yourself the goal of writing at least two posts a week, maybe three. Unless you're having an incredibly busy week, don't back away from this schedule.

      It's all about the discipline. You're learning to write short humor. The best way to learn is to do it. The more of them you write, the better you'll get. Some will be superb, some will suck, and the rest will be somewhere in between.

      With each blog post you write, you'll get better and more comfortable putting your thoughts and ideas on paper.

      If your blog topic is interesting, colorful, entertaining, and provides information to help readers develop or improve a skill, it'll catch on.

      The ultimate goal of a blog for anyone seriously trying to be a comedy writer should be to create a solid Internet platform of readership in order to turn your blog into a book.

      In the case of Julie Powell, her blog The Julie/Julia Project became not only a book, but also a movie: Julie & Julia.

      Steve Dublanica, a waiter, started a blog called Waiter Rant, which described the ups and downs of being a waiter. It resulted in a best-seller of the same name.

      Even if you don't achieve results like them, what you will gain is experience in writing and it will prepare you to move on to longer projects.

      Save it for the performance!

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      chapter 5

      Getting in Touch With

      Your Inner Oscar Wilde

       Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

      —Oscar Wilde

      Do you know what satire is? Parody? Are they the same, fairly close in meaning, or totally different? What's a lampoon? A spoof? What is farce?

      I'll pretend you don't know. Don't bother doing a quick Google search. I'll tell you the definitions.

      If you're going to be a humorist, you need to get the meaning of these styles down. Critic Simon Dentith defines parody as “any cultural practice which provides a relatively polemical allusive imitation of another cultural production or practice.”

      Huh? Too many big words.

      PARODY: There are a number of definitions:

      

A literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect or ridicule.

      

Mimicry of someone's individual manner in a humorous or satirical way.

      

Make a spoof of or make fun of.

      

A composition that imitates or misrepresents somebody's style, usually in a humorous way.

      My favorite definition is that parody is the most aggressive form of comedy writing.

      SATIRE: Some good definitions:

      

A literary work in which human vice or folly is attacked through irony, derision, or wit.

      

The use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

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