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      The French have an expression, l'esprit de l'escalier, or “the wit of the staircase,” which is the tendency to think of a quick comeback only after it's too late to say it. There are only so many stony silences you can take before deciding to keep your mouth shut.

      The funniest people I know are all quick. Within one second they're able to say something funny. And they do it over and over again. Ironically, most of them aren't comedy writers. They're regular people. And many of the comedy writers I know are hilarious on the page, but in real life are kind of, well, boring and anything but quick.

      The most important thing to understand is to be original. Don't make the same 10 joke or say the same line that everyone else is saying.

      Four hundred years ago, satirist Jonathan Swift said this more succinctly: “What some people invent the rest enlarge.”

      Periodically, catchphrases and expressions trickle down into the pop culture vernacular, usually from the street, television, movies, or commercials.

      Here are a few that had their time in the sun:

      

“Not that there's anything wrong with being gay.”

      

“Denial is a river in Egypt.”

      

“Thank you for sharing”

      

“Oh my God.”

      

“Make my day”

      

“Too much information.”

      

“Don't go there.”

      

“Whazzzzuupppp?”

      

“Get a life.”

      

“Hated it!”

      

“Excuuuussse me.”

      

“That doesn't make me a bad person.”

      

“Yada yada yada!” (which, believe it or not, is in the dictionary!)

      

“Duh!”

      

“No you di'nt!”

      How many times have you heard the following lines in a screenplay? “She's no rocket scientist,” or “It's not rocket science.” I've heard those lines or variations on those lines so many times it makes me cringe. They represent bad writing and lack of imagination. The only time the line ever truly worked, after the first time, was in a nifty little comedy from 1985 called Moving Violations, starring John Murray (Bill's brother) and Jennifer Tilly (Meg's sister).

      It went something like this:

      John Murray's character: “You're not a rocket scientist.”

      Jennifer Tilly's character: “Actually, I am.” 11

      Again, fill whatever you're writing with original humor and steer clear of the obvious, clichéd, and trite.

      Why are some people funnier than others? Why are some screenplays funnier than others? Why do some jokes work and others don't?

      E. B. White said it best: “Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies.”

      I mean, it's not rocket science, right?

       Freud on Funny

      I Don't Get It

      In Sigmund Freud's Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious, he writes, “…our brain has certain specifications upon which laughter can be incited; however, similar to our distinct personalities, one's sense of humor is entirely dependent on their individual being and the tendencies specific to their varied states of consciousness.”

      Practically speaking, this is why some people get a joke and others don't. Why you laughed throughout Hot Tub Time Machine and your significant other sat there stone-faced. Why some people think Carrot Top or Dane Cook is amazing and others wonder why they have successful careers. Think of all the sitcoms, film comedies, and comedians you like and your friends don't, and remember what Freud says.

       To each, his own. Not my cup of tea. I don't get it.

      It will be the same way with whatever form of comedy you write. Some people will get it and others won't. The only difference is that as you pursue a writing career, it's crucial that the right people get it.

      chapter 2

      If You're out of Touch, You Won't Get in the Door

       Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you.

      –Mel Brooks

      Smart, informed writers write funnier stuff than people who don't know what's going on in the world. If you're not a news junkie, you'd better become one.

      Keep current with what's happening in our country and around our planet. Read newspapers for national and international news; 3 watch your local TV news, too. You never know where you're going to find material. If you're too cheap to buy newspapers, go online; almost every newspaper is free for the viewing. I suggest concentrating on papers in New York, Los Angeles, and Washington.

      Because I live in New York I read The New York Times for serious news and The New York Post for pop culture and oddball human- interest stories.

      Pay even closer attention to pop culture news. Think of all the jokes that have been written about Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and Sarah Palin, as well as their dysfunctional families. If you look at People magazine or Us and you've never heard of most of the actors, singers, or entertainers on the cover, you're out of touch.

      There's always someone new on the horizon to make fun of.

      Read as many online sites about Hollywood personalities as you can, because these are the people you'll be drawing humor from.

      Here are some you should bookmark:

      

Perez Hilton

      

Nikki Fincke's Deadline Hollywood

      

Popculturemadness

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