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href="#ulink_08252922-2c1f-5891-84ad-8fca2e261f30">Deer Rub

      Deep in the forest, where no one has gone,

      where rain bloats the black moss and mud,

      a deer is rubbing its forelock and antlers

      against a tree. The velvet that covers the antlers

      unwinds into strips, like bandages.

      The rain scratches at the deer’s coat

      as if trying to get inside, washes the antlers

      of blood, like a curator cleaning the bones

      of a saint in the crypt beneath a church

      at the end of a century, when the people

      have begun to think of the bodies

      as truly dead and unraiseable,

      when children have begun to carry knives

      in their pockets. Once the last shred

      of velvet falls to the ground, the deer

      bends to eat it, nearly finished with ritual

      and altar, the tree’s side stripped of bark

      while someplace in the world

      a bomb strips away someone’s skin.

      The deer’s mouth is stained with berries

      of its own blood. Then, the deer is gone

      and the tree left opened, the rain darkening

      red against the hole in the sapwood.

      The storm grows louder and louder

      like a fear. The deer will shed

      its velvet four more times before dying

      of disease; the tree will grow its bark

      again. Each atom in each cell will remember

      the body it had made in this place, this time,

      long after the rain flushes the river

      to flood, long after this morning

      when the country wakes to another war,

      when two people wake in a house

      and do not touch each other.

      It begins on the brightest

      afternoon, my body

      held in a corona

      I can taste the sugar

      and the heat of.

      At the edge of the valley

      wild hyacinths,

      violet ones, scythe

      through the shadows,

      through my eye.

      When I reach the hive

      the bees cluster

      on my veil like molecules

      magnified, a code

      to the core of things.

      When I lift a comb

      one bee stings my wrist,

      then another,

      the venom a note,

      a pulse of light

      that rises into a song:

      a tower of spikes

      or a swaying stalk

      of purpling

      blossoms. This must be

      what love is:

      a pain so radiant

      it cuts through all others.

      a sickness grows inside the moonlight,

      turns under the mud in the corral

      the horse churns to fever.

      A boy stands at the fence

      and whistles to the horse, clicks

      his tongue, stamps his foot.

      The horse will not come.

      And when it does,

       when the boy offers it hay,

      it bites the center of his palm

      which purples with blood.

      In twenty years, the boy

      will place a shotgun in his mouth

       while his child sleeps.

      Though they cannot be deciphered,

      cannot become lighter,

      all moments will shine

      if you cut them open,

      glisten like entrails in the sun.

       The fever grows deeper

      into itself, tender-rooted flowers

      inside the belly of the horse,

      inside the eye of the boy

      who again tries to feed it the hay,

      gently cups its mouth.

      Lost in the forest one night, we find the body

      of a wolf, its throat torn open,

      the wound a cupful of rippling

      black milk, where maggots curl star-white

      in their glistening darkness.

      The eyes hum with flies, which drone a joy

      in the bones, the brain, wander

      into the labyrinth through the tongue,

      still hanging out in half-howl.

      We keep walking, holding out our hands

      to feel our way through the dark

      as if we could touch as it touches,

      know it as it knows the stars

      that float in the vacuum of its voice,

      that grow brighter and louder

      until it unsays them, takes them

      back. I know first there was light

      to give the void a shape. I know

      what has no beginning cannot end.

      I can hardly see your face out here

      but I can hear you breathing.

      Your voice opens and says

      I think the path is this way,

      floats out, crosses to me

      in a little cloud-boat and is gone—

      Keep talking. How did the story go?

       How dark it was inside the wolf,

      which had begun as a clump

      of darkness inside another wolf.

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