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Saudade. Traci Brimhall
Читать онлайн.Название Saudade
Год выпуска 0
isbn 9781619321823
Автор произведения Traci Brimhall
Жанр Зарубежные стихи
Издательство Ingram
MARIA DE LOURDES
One said he’d pack us in a sack when he shipped his manioc.
MARIA APARECIDA
One promised to write us a poem whose music would transport us over the Andes, even if our bodies remained here.
MARIA THEREZA
My brides, said the first, offering a hook.
MARIA MADALENA
Beloveds, said the second, holding a rose.
MARIA DE LOURDES
Muses, wrote the third, slipping notes in each of our pockets.
MARIA HELENA
We chose.
After the Plantation Fire
We buried the bodies and danced — we had to.
Beneath the sagging porch, generators roared,
mosquitoes sated themselves on wild dogs, boats
approaching on the river loaded with soldiers
killed their engines. We told them the fire had nothing
to do with the revolution. I’ve made the choice
between brushing flies from a child’s eyes or digging
a grave deeper. It’s easier than you’d think. So what
if I knew who he was when he sidled close —
hat tilted back, caipirinha in his hand — and matched
his hips with mine? I toyed with his buttons, felt scars
through his shirt. I didn’t tell him where our daughter
had gone or what my husband had done. He kissed
the blood blisters on my fingertips and never asked
how I got them. That’s not why he’d come.
When soldiers broke the lights and the musicians’ arms,
I brought him to the burned plantation, hid his face beneath
my skirt and leaned against a rubber tree — still alive
and leaking sap. Somewhere in the new dark, a man
in a uniform cut off another man’s tongue and ordered him
to sing. Wind pushed the flames closer to heaven.
How I Lost Seven Faiths
I was given my first god as a child, a side-speared redeemer
who rose and walked after death but whose broken body
hung over his transubstantiated blood. When my daughter
vanished, I adopted a book of spells in a foreign tongue.
When my homophonic translations of curses didn’t give me
my daughter back or even a sign, I tried the rabbi who lived
in his tomb twenty-three hours a day and came out at noon
to eat hummingbird tongues served in mango compote
and honey. After my rabbinical miracle wore off I tried
divination by umbrellas and solar devotion but gave them up
for the euphoric theology of handling snakes. I lost faith in that,
too, when I woke to a constrictor choking on my big toe.
My undisciplined doubt didn’t sharpen my questions or make
the harem of angels stop haunting my godless mind. Better,
people said. It would get better. But I didn’t want better.
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