Love Skills - Linda Carroll

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______ 2.My partner and I can talk for hours and never get bored. ______ 3.I tell my partner things about myself that I rarely, if ever, tell anyone else. When I do, my partner doesn’t pull away. ______ 4.My partner seems to accept me with all of my flaws, and I accept my partner’s. ______ 5.I don’t get as much sleep now that we’re dating — just thinking about my partner fills me with energy! ______ 6.I think my partner may be my perfect match, even though we haven’t been together very long. ______ 7.I always take longer to get ready before meeting up with my partner. I need to look my best! ______ 8.Our sex life is fantastic — we make love more frequently and enjoyably than I have with any previous partner. ______ 9.My partner is so attractive that I could stare at him or her for hours. ______ 10.We have fun no matter what we are doing — even normally boring things like grocery shopping or cleaning. ______ 11.My partner brings out my generosity; I’m happy to spend money on him or her. ______ 12.With my partner, I’m willing to try things in the bedroom that I’ve never done before. ______ 13.Anytime we are relaxing, I can’t help but cuddle. ______ 14.My partner likes a lot of activities I’ve never tried, but I’m really interested in getting into them too. ______ 15.We like to “sext” and send sexually suggestive messages to each other…even during the workday. ______ 16.I’m seeing my friends less often because I want to prioritize love right now. ______ 17.I almost feel guilty when I think about flirting with other people (which happens rarely). If I had dating apps and/or files, I’ve deleted them. ______ 18.I want to know everything about my partner. ______ 19.After a date, I replay every moment in my head. ______ 20.I love to talk about my new partner with supportive friends and family members. Sometimes, even my partner has to remind me to talk about things other than our relationship. ______ TOTAL SCORE ______

      Stage Two: Doubt and Denial

Score
1.I’m more critical of my partner than I used to be. Even if I don’t actually say I’m annoyed, I’m sure my tone and facial expressions communicate my disapproval. ______
2.More and more, my partner is criticizing me for just being me. ______
3.I need my own time sometimes; being around my partner can get on my nerves. ______
4.I don’t tell my friends or family about my concerns with my partner, because I’m sure we’ll move past them soon. No need to alarm my loved ones. ______
5.It’s time for me to reconnect with some of the friends I put on hold earlier in our relationship. ______
6.Sometimes I really want to argue with my partner, but then I remember how happy we are, so I decide that whatever’s bugging me really isn’t that big of a deal. ______
7.When my partner complains about something small, like a mess I’ve made or something I’ve forgotten to do, I tend to take it as a personal insult. I feel defensiveness creeping in. ______
8.Some of the things my partner does are just silly. Why isn’t my partner more rational about things — like I am? ______
9.I sometimes worry we disagree too much, but when I see other couples arguing, I feel a lot better. After all, we aren’t nearly as miserable as they are! ______
10.Our sex life is decent, but I keep waiting to feel the kind of passion I once did. ______
11.We aren’t “sexting” each other nearly as much as we used to. In fact, our texts aren’t even flirtatious. ______
12.There are times I wonder if I chose the wrong partner. But I know that’s just me being overdramatic. ______
13.Our communication isn’t working the way it used to. I feel like we need to “spell things out” to each other now rather than understand them intuitively. ______
14.I think about being single more often — and sometimes even wish I were. ______
15.I feel like our libidos are out of sync — either my partner wants more sex than I do or vice versa. ______
16.I’m less likely to spend a lot of money on my partner just for fun; now I only do so on special occasions. ______
17.I’m more likely to flirt with someone else now, just for fun and to see what else is out there. ______
18.I find it hard to comfort my partner when they are upset over something I personally think is no big deal. ______
19.I still think my partner is attractive, but no longer irresistible. ______
20.I pretend to like things my partner is interested in, and I’m a bit worried I’ll never actually enjoy them, even if we do them together. ______
TOTAL SCORE ______

      Stage Three: Disillusionment

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Score
1.Premeditated romance is rare between us — date nights, random gifts, and other gestures of love aren’t things we do for each other anymore. ______
2.I seldom feel as though I’m the number-one priority for my partner. ______
3.Right now I just need to make sure that I’m emotionally safe and happy, with or without my partner. ______
4.Nothing new is happening in our relationship, and it’s driving me crazy! We’re tediously predictable in our interactions and routines. ______