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they believe. I think if we came across more to the people, because I’ve spoken to people before, and they’ve been like, “Well, what is the BNP?” and they couldn’t even say what BNP stood for. A lot of people don’t really know much about it unless you’re quite racist or quite nationalist. So if they could explain themselves to people more clearly, a lot more people would listen.

       Do you think Nick Griffin has concentrated his manifesto enough on the problem of falling house prices?

      Not really, but I don’t think anyone is. I don’t think there’s anything that can really be done about it.

       In terms of the BNP’s repatriation policy on immigration, if you had to choose, who would you repatriate first, Dizzee Rascal or Tinchy Stryder?

      Dizzee Rascal. I know this is gonna sound horrible, because he’s the one who’s the most, like… because my problem is that when immigrants come over to this country, they try and bring in their own churches and languages. And I think he expresses himself more as like an African or whatever he is, whereas Tinchy Stryder is more American. That’s the difference.

       Which do you dislike more, Muslims or Hindus?

      Muslims. They’re the ones who’ve got the most attention, they’re the ones who are kicking off about things the most. They’re more in the public eye as troublemakers.

       If, as a hypothetical solution to the problem of immigration, we turned over one city to immigrants and made them all live there in a sort of ghetto, what city would you choose?

      Birmingham, because it’s full of them anyway.

       What if immigrants could prove their usefulness—should they then be allowed to stay? For instance, by selecting only immigrants who were extremely good-looking?

      No. I just don’t think there should be any. You see, just because they’re black, I haven’t got a problem with that. If they’ve lived in the country for a long time and they’re working, and say they’re a doctor or they’re actually doing something. It’s when they’re getting benefits that I have a problem, ’cos there’s plenty of people in our country who need our money and plenty of people who are British who are homeless, and they are just being given our money.

       Is the problem one of culture, not ethnicity? For instance, would you be prepared to accept Muslims in your community if they all converted to Christianity, took part in maypole ceremonies on St George’s day, took elocution lessons and dressed solely in Harris Tweed?

      You mean if they weren’t trying to imply their own religion [sic] and if they acted like us? Well, I wouldn’t have as much of a problem. There’s a school in our town, and everyone jokes about it, like it’s spot-the-white-kid school. In the town now, they’ve got a religious school, and they’ve got lots of prayers in Arabic on the wall, and I think that’s just totally wrong. Yeah, they should learn our language. I find it really insulting. Like, in the call centre, people would ring up, and you’d ask to speak to the account holder and they’d go, “The account holder doesn’t speak English.” It used to really, really annoy us.

       Peter Andre—hero or villain?

      Aw, hero.

       Jeremy Clarkson—hero or villain?

      Hero.

       Enoch Powell—hero or villain?

      Hero.

       Nelson Mandela—hero or villain?

      Villain.

       Finally, has anything amusing ever happened to you in connection with spoons?

      Spoons? As in, like, a spoon? I don’t think so.

      HELEN RIDDELL, NEWCASTLE

       Vice: How old are you?

      Helen: 19. Wait, no, 18. 19 next month.

       What do you do for a living?

      I’m a kitchen assistant at the minute.

       What first attracted you to the BNP?

      I don’t know. I couldn’t really actually tell you. There were a couple of the sentences I agreed with. Basically about how immigrants are coming and taking people’s jobs and that.

       Are most of your friends BNP?

      Some of them are.

       And your parents?

      No. What are they? I think Liberal Democrat. I dunno.

       Are there any BNP policies you disagree with?

      Not so far, no, ’cos I’m still in the middle of looking up all that about it at the moment.

       When people say the BNP is a fascist party, what do you think?

      Yes, in some ways it is. But there we are. It’s a hard decision. There’s some things I think are good and some things I think are bad, so it’s a hard decision to make, but it was the one party I felt closer to than any of the other parties.

       Is there a big anti-BNP movement up in Newcastle? Do you get a lot of stick?

      Not really.

       Do you have arguments about it with people?

      Sometimes, yeah. But not like heated arguments.

       Fish or chips?

      Fish.

       Alan Carr or Jimmy Carr?

      Alan.

       Princess Di or Jade Goody?

      Di.

       Blair or Brown?

      Brown.

       Michael Jackson or Tim Westwood?

      Michael Jackson.

       Peter Andre or Stephen Hawking?

      Peter Andre.

       What do you think the BNP could do to improve its appeal to gay voters?

      Erm, ooh, I don’t know. I haven’t a clue.

       In terms of the BNP’s repatriation policy on immigration, if you had to choose, who would you repatriate first, Dizzee Rascal or Tinchy Stryder?

      Tinchy Stryder, ’cos he’s not very well known. Dizzee Rascal’s more of a worldwide-known icon.

       What should we do with Lenny Henry?

      I don’t even know who that is, sorry.

       Which do you dislike more, Muslims or black people?

      Muslims. I’ve never seen any advertisements about blacks who come here and don’t work. It’s more the Muslims, ’cos basically that’s what I object to. My mum split up with my dad a couple of years ago, and she was going to get a flat off the council, and the first question they asked her on the form was “Are you an immigrant?” I don’t agree with that, you see, so that’s where it started from.

       So you agree with the BNP’s send-’em-back

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