LITMIR.BIZ

Скачать книгу

alone with the thoughts. Nobody felt awkward as if their acquaintance lasted not one decade.

      – As whom do you work? – suddenly for some reason the guy asked.

      – Not important. – She waved away. – My work is not pleasant to me at all. If I on it did not self-study, did not read books, was not engaged though I something useful, probably, would go crazy from understanding of hopelessness, uselessness of the spent time.

      – Replace it.

      – Хм, – the girl of its naivety grinned, – everything is not so simple. At first it is necessary to gain the diploma. Tried to study, there was only not enough money. From relatives one grandmother remained with me, – on her face warm, a little sad smile appeared, – pension also falls short of a living wage. The government promised to raise, and all one kopeks will leave, the prices much quicker up creep. It needs to be helped.

      Naturally it was necessary to explain what is a living wage, pension and still a set of passing questions.

      Having listened and having deeply thought, Konstantin decided to specify some moments:

      – It turns out, these are the settlement means necessary for the person for a month for elementary survival, so to speak, that with hunger not to die?

      Ania, silently, nodded and became covered by a small shiver, having a presentiment of a new wave of indignation.

      – Now she receives less money. So far everything is correct? – having received the affirmative answer, continued. – The state itself appoints this minimum, gives to the person even less, so obviously dooms him to death?

      She had nothing to tell.

      – I for the 100-th time speak to you, I very small, nothing not meaning person, ask…

      – So does not happen. There are no little people. There are low beings, and are those who press on you, forcing to consider themselves nobody, to feel a pettiness. They take away from you the most important – awareness of the importance, so, kill will to live, aspiration to great fulfillments. Force to live not as you want and as it is necessary for them… And as whom you studied? – it changed a topic of conversation. From his statements Ania absolutely became dejected and all stooped.

      – On the chemist, – she quickened. – To me it very to liking. I can talk for hours about this science. – Therefore as her eyes shone, it was possible to draw a conclusion that it could become valid business of all her life.

      – Give I you to everything I will teach, work as whom you want?

      – My knowledge in this area more than is enough. The diploma is necessary, money., – the girl was upset again.

      – If you know everything and are able, and you only have no piece of paper, you also cannot work?

      – Not pieces of paper, and plasticity, – it was necessary only to laugh from such absurd, so they are easier had. How to explain to the purest baby that such treachery, a lie, benefit? – What do you try to obtain?

      – I try to understand you.

      – Well and how progress? – The ironical smile slightly touched her lips.

      Konstantin only negatively shook the head and a little later added:

      – You and do not understand yourself, I see, and seek to understand nothing. Everyone invents close worlds where only to it it is good, do not try to make cozy the general house at all, what occurs behind your window you does not concern any more. Life consists in several square meters of your apartments and comes to an end behind their doors. Everything that in not it, hostilely, unichtozhayushche badly. While we with you walked, found time to read several thoughts by the walking people. One of them thought of the forthcoming checkup of the vehicle. I quote: “as all complicated: month if it is necessary to stay in turns no more until everything ends. Better than ladies of money and documents, in ten minutes everything will be ready”. – Here also explain to me, please, why this service is necessary? That to take bribes? The car will go anyway, even without check. It is possible just to abolish it. From it more accidents will not be. The thinking people on the faulty car will not go, and fools and so will pay and will have either an accident, or another nasty story. Another counted the benefit from deception of workers, something with a salary there, the majority did not know, than to feed a family. “Where still to earn additionally? As it is at two works,… and there is not enough money all the same”. It is a high time to raise a question: whether you are reasonable? Whether people you in general? What you on invented stuff does not do you by the highest beings as you consider. What does the person to that? Kindness, compassion, help to the neighbor? Where your young civilization managed to lose all this, without having managed to get plainly? Even animals feel the guilt more sharply you. Are ready to accept obediently deserved punishment, let and from weaker. People, knowing the fault, will use the best efforts not to be punished, will even convince themselves of own innocence. Though your society not bad is conceived. Only everything that is offered is not valid. If everything was carried out as has to, would be tolerable for the majority. Only it is not clear if: the mechanism does not work, it needs to be cancelled, thrown out or repaired, and people are content with the destroyed system which end is not visible.

      – Probably, you are right. I am afraid of this world too. I am afraid to seem in total silly, ridiculous, to express the thoughts in public. Suddenly someone will condemn them, will deride. To me not to endure it. I dream., you will not even believe what I dream of, – she made a helpless gesture, – about an old age. I want to retire and hide quicker from the whole world. I understand that I wish myself death, but I can do nothing with myself. It is awful, I know. It is ready to offer the best years of life. But also my acquaintances drag the same miserable existence if not to tell, sickly vegetation. Also think also, just aloud it is not accepted to speak about it. They should fill days stuff if only somewhere to put time and to give intelligence to the life. For them life a burden, an invisible yoke. One are engaged in a collecting, others in card play, the third still some nonsense, the absorbing value having everything for their life. Many find a consolation in children. You do not think, against children I have nothing – it is fine. Badly the fact that the majority bring them for simplification of the life. To some extent is a weakness or egoism, I do not know. Could achieve nothing in due time, lowered hands, made a family. There was an excess excuse, a justification: not to great fulfillments, peanuts it is necessary to feed. Here I will bring up them, and they let make miracles. Simplest it is thoughtless, rested as a ram, to mechanically carry out some duties, to be exhausted physically before consciousness loss. It is much more difficult to try to change itself and society. What beyond our powers, and in most cases just laziness, we perelazhivat on shoulders of the descendants, they in turn on the… I even am not afraid of death. If necessary I will easily go to it without delaying, seconds. But to panic, to wild horror I tremble before authorities in any their manifestation: officials, militia, the administration at work is simple. All of them have on me improbable, hypnotic influence. When they shout, threaten, I not in forces something to object, I lose a speech power. But then I burn with anger. I build huge offers, phrases which need to be told in reply and I know that I will never be able to say them aloud. The next quarrel if it is so possible to call it, will end as always with acquiescence.

      – You are not fair to yourself. You wish silent, quietly bright life. And all this is inaccessible to you now. For some reason, you think in old age everything conceived will come. Maybe so. Watching what to want. Your uninteresting, monkey business irritates you, exhausts as penal servitude. Such as you millions and you spend the best years, huge forces on absolute nothing. Beginning from arms, finishing any small institutions which build the existence on a lot of papers. There is a lot of them that there is no uniform control system anywhere. Everything so far came that already nobody knows as has to be as it is correct. You spend precious time, standing idle in lines to officials for the sake of some piece

Скачать книгу