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       Dedication

      For Roberto

      Thank you for being right by my side every step of

      this journey and so many others.

      For Nix

      With much love —

      You left us too early!

      I have no doubt wherever you are,

      you are sure to be flying high …

      Contents

       Cover

      Dedication

      Preface

      Part One

      Part Two

      Part Three

      Part Four

      Part Five

      Part Six

      Part Seven

      Part Eight

       Epilogue

       Destined to Play

       Destined to Feel

       Join the Conversation

       Acknowledgements

       About the Author

       Copyright

      The limbic system is a complex set of nerves and networks in the brain supporting a variety of functions including emotion, behaviour, motivation, and memory formation. Its purpose continues to unfold, though it appears to be primarily responsible for our emotional life, with feelings such as fear and pleasure. It operates by influencing the endocrine and nervous systems and is highly interconnected with the brain’s pleasure centre, which plays a role in sexual arousal.

       Preface

      Do you ever feel like the hands of the universe have picked you up and hurled you into a sphere that challenges the very core of your being? Somehow, my journey has taken me to a place I never expected to find myself in, let alone knew existed.

      It all began with one weekend that awakened my sexuality and ultimately sparked something in the depths of my soul, and I still feel as if I’m tumbling out of control in the midst of a psychological and sexual tornado I have no defence against. I don’t know how the kaleidoscopic events of recent times will end and can only hope my loved ones will endure the journey with me.

      If I had known then what I know now, I can only wonder whether I would have chosen this path? Perhaps I never had a choice and the path chose me …

      Either way, what has happened in the past has happened, the present is what it is and the future will be what it will be. I can only hope and pray that somehow, I am destined to fly.

       Part One

      Speak or act with an impure mind,

      And trouble will follow you.

      Buddha

      Lake Bled

      Madame Jurilique slaps Josef’s cheek in blind fury.

      ‘How dare you deceive me? After all I have done for you and your family over the years. This is how you repay me?’

      Josef’s arms are secured firmly at his sides by two hefty security guards, Frederic and Louis, and although he quickly turns his head to the side, attempting to deflect her vicious slap, the corner of her ostentatious diamond ring has slipped to the inside of her finger and slices his cheek. Her lips curl into an undeniably satisfied smile at the vision of his blood, forming droplets on his skin.

      ‘All I wanted from you was her blood. Was that honestly too much to ask?’

      Dr Josef Votrubec remains resolutely silent, refusing to meet her cold eyes.

      ‘Answer me, Josef!’ Her anger is displayed in her fists, bunched into white-knuckled balls, at odds with her otherwise elegant style.

      Madeleine considers her options as her previously valued and loyal employee stands defiantly before her. She hadn’t wished him any harm until he betrayed her so deceitfully; now she concedes she may be left with no choice but to deal with him once and for all. She cannot allow a single loose cannon on her tightly-run ship.

      Madeleine remembered when her close friend, Lauren Bertrand, had called to say that she, Lauren, had been invited to be a member of the elite Global Research Forum. Madeleine and Lauren attended the same Swiss finishing school in their youth before turning a shared passion for chemistry into successful careers. Lauren had since become a leading French chemist who often did consulting work for Xsade. Madeleine had already been keeping a very close watch on the developing Global Forum — the closer she could get to whatever the esteemed Harvard man, Dr Jeremy Quinn, was involved in, the better — and her interest was sparked further when Lauren revealed that Jeremy Quinn was keeping classified research files, including medical records, on the Australian-based psychologist, Dr Alexandra Blake.

      Then she learned that Dr Blake’s work on visual perception was sponsored by another forum member, Professor Samuel Webster, who was venturing into the field of sexuality and neuroscience. She was hooked. So she organised for her discreet information technologists (strictly off the record, of course) to hack into the two men’s computers to find out what exactly what was going on.

      Just as a buzzard can sense roadkill, every fibre in her body could sense that Quinn was onto yet another ground-breaking discovery. Her instincts were confirmed sooner than anticipated when her researchers discovered that Quinn’s major benefactor, the enigmatic and always-discreet philanthropist, Leroy Edward Orwell, — or Leo, as he was known — was flying into Sydney the same weekend as Quinn was meeting up with Dr Blake. As Xsade was on the verge of finalising a patent on their ‘purple pill’, developed to combat female sexual arousal disorder, she knew she would hit the jackpot if she could continue to access information on what Quinn and Leo were up to.

      Madeleine and Lauren were on a one-day conference together when Lauren informed her that the forum’s planned experimentation might not go ahead after all. Madeleine was left with no choice but to anonymously blackmail Quinn into continuing what he had been planning so meticulously for months. Much to her relief it seemed to work, as the testing went ahead as scheduled and the results she obtained from both Quinn’s and Webster’s computer systems were far beyond anything she had ever imagined.

      Lauren’s casual phone call to Madeleine from Singapore, mentioning she had just bumped into Alexandra Blake, before she boarded a plane to London was the icing on the cake. Having been thwarted by strengthened security on Quinn’s and Webster’s computer systems, Madeleine felt as if the universe was delivering Dr Blake to her doorstep and compelling her to act; accordingly, she arranged for the Blake woman to be forcibly escorted to a chateau in Slovenia and then to Xsade’s off-the-grid facility under Lake Bled.

      Madeleine was sure she was on the cusp of discovering the source of the anomalies in Alexandra’s blood, unlocking potentially limitless profits for Xsade and earning herself the level of personal and professional power she had dreamed of for years. The best part would be finally outwitting the great Dr Quinn. There was no aphrodisiac more meaningful to her than social status and positional power. Quinn had, in fact, achieved her own ideal version of a networking nirvana in the pharmaceutical and medical worlds. In her mind, he rather arbitrarily and haphazardly stumbled upon the miracle cures that the world adored him for. It bewildered her that, apparently, money was never

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