LITMIR.BIZ

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“Remember, we used to come up with all sorts of masterpieces in your dad’s kitchen.”

      “Oh, yeah.” Rennie laughed out loud. “It’s all coming back to me, and, as I recall, they were anything but masterpieces.”

      After opening a few cabinets and carefully inspecting the refrigerator, Gray nodded to Rennie with confidence. “Looks like we have enough scraps here for a delicious Everything Stew.”

      Rennie nodded. “That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Just point me in the right direction.”

      Gray was very at home in the kitchen. Rennie showed him where things were, and he was off and running.

      Fifteen minutes later, Gray inhaled the zesty vapor rising off their Everything Stew. Pleased, he glanced at Rennie chopping carrots. “This is going to be a good one.”

      She peeked over the edge of the pot. “It’s getting there,” she said, dropping a handful of carrot chunks into the mixture.

      He stirred the pot, watching the colors swirl together until a jumble of vivid memories began to bubble out of the stew along with the steam. “Remember the tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches we used to make?”

      “Ugh.” Rennie crinkled her nose. “That sounds so gross now. I can’t believe we used to eat those.”

      “We ate ’em and loved ’em. They weren’t so bad. Not much different than a BLT…without the B and the L.”

      Rennie laughed, placing a lid on the pot so the stew could simmer. “That’s true. I guess tomato sandwiches weren’t the worst concoctions we came up with.”

      Gray leaned against the counter, admiring the pristine condition of her kitchen. Clearly, she didn’t like cooking any more now than she had when she was sixteen. The only well-used item in the room was her microwave.

      “I think our worst culinary experiment was our homemade macaroni and cheese.”

      “I get sick just thinking about it,” Rennie said, clutching her stomach. “You know, I don’t think I’ve eaten macaroni and cheese since that day.”

      “That makes two of us. The macaroni and cheese disaster also put an end to our little kitchen experiments. After that we confined our after-school snacks to grilled cheese sandwiches or cereal.”

      “I think you are responsible for my fear of cooking,” she said, removing the lid on the pot to stir their stew. “Thanks to you, I must exist on all things microwavable.”

      “Don’t blame me for that. In fact, you should be thanking me. Neither of us had a microwave back then. If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t know how to work any kitchen appliances.”

      The nights Gray had kept her company after school, it had been at his insistence that they attempt to make dinner for themselves. Otherwise, he was certain Rennie would have wasted away on pretzels and Froot Loops.

      When the stew was ready, they set everything on the coffee table. Settling down on the floor before the table, Rennie sampled the first bite. “This isn’t bad. Not bad at all.”

      Gray nodded his agreement after tasting his stew. The air in the kitchen had been filled with spiced cooking and memories, leaving no room for the tension that had been present since they’d seen each other again. But now that they had moved into the living room to eat their dinner, they fell into an awkward silence.

      The tension drifted back, building a wall between them with bricks of uncertainty and fear. Gray watched Rennie’s profile as she blew on her spoon before sipping gently from it. How could someone so familiar be a complete stranger?

      He paused, staring into his bowl as he realized that statement could just as easily be applied to him. He was nothing like the Gray she once knew. It was obvious what she saw when she looked at him. She must have so many questions. Questions he had no easy or truthful answers for.

      Gray looked up to find that Rennie had put down her spoon and was watching him intently. “What’s the matter?”

      “I was just about to ask you the same thing. Why the brooding look? Is something wrong with your stew?”

      “No, my stew is fine.”

      “Then what’s on your mind?”

      “I was just thinking how, in some ways, being here with you feels perfectly natural. Like the years in between never existed. But, in other ways, I look at you and I can’t help wondering about the hundreds of tiny things that I’ve missed.”

      She looked at her bowl. “I feel the same way.”

      “There’s something I want to ask you?”

      “What is it?”

      He reached out and touched her chin with his index finger. His thumb brushed over her lips. “Why didn’t you say goodbye before you left me?”

      Chapter 4

      Suddenly nine years of guilt came rushing back to Rennie. When she’d left for the University of Texas, it had been early morning. She hadn’t awakened Gray to say goodbye. He deserved an explanation for that, but when she opened her mouth to speak, no words came out.

      Stalling for time, she picked up their empty stew bowls and carried them into the kitchen.

      Gray followed her. “We’d made plans, Rennie. We were supposed to wake up early together, then I was going to make you breakfast and take you to the airport. Instead, when I woke up, you were already gone.”

      Rennie turned to face him, seeing raw emotion. It was as though she’d left him only minutes ago instead of years. Despite his words, she knew he wasn’t asking, “Why did you leave me that morning?” He wanted to know why she’d left him at all.

      She could only handle one thing at a time. The answer to the first question was easy.

      “The night before I left, things had been so emotional and…intense. I’m not sure I would have been able to go if we’d gone through another scene like that.” Rennie had nearly changed her mind about leaving California a thousand times. “Getting on that plane was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”

      He locked eyes with her, and she backed up into the dishwasher. “Then why did you? I told you that I would take care of you. Didn’t you believe me?”

      Finally, the question she’d been dreading. Rennie skirted around him and headed into the living room. Curling up on the couch, her bare feet tucked beneath her, she took a deep breath.

      Gray sat on the floor, looking at her patiently. That was the problem with him. He’d always had an infinite amount of patience.

      “This is one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. The best that I can do is try to explain what was going on in my mind at the time.”

      He nodded. “I’m listening.”

      “I’d lost my mom when I was only a baby and my father was always working, so my brother had been my whole world. I was only fourteen when Jacob died. You immediately stepped in to look out for me—walking me home from school, driving me to the grocery store, helping me with my homework. Whenever I needed you, you were there. And I began to count on that.”

      “Are you trying to say that I—”

      “Let me finish, Gray. It wasn’t just me. When Jacob needed someone to watch his back, even though you’d turned down those thugs countless times, you joined the gang for his sake.”

      “Not that it made any difference,” he muttered, leaning against the couch so she could only see the back of his head.

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