LITMIR.BIZ

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then I’ll see exactly what’s what.”

      “Perfect,” Sarita said. “We’ll follow up next week.”

      “No, next week I want to hear from every one of you. I let you off the hook this time, but next session we’re getting back to business.”

      That afternoon, Gray got into his car and started driving. Before he realized where he was going, he found himself in front of the old building where Rennie worked.

      Should he go inside? Her counseling sessions were for women only. No doubt he’d look conspicuous if he walked in. On the other hand, he probably didn’t look any less conspicuous hovering around outside.

      Before Gray could make a decision one way or the other, the matter was taken out of his hands. Rennie walked out of the front door. When she saw him standing there, she paused on the steps as if she’d seen a ghost.

      Then she was moving again, her pace faster as she strode purposefully toward him. “Hi.” Her voice was breathy when she finally stopped before him.

      “Hi, Rennie. Before you ask me what I’m doing here, let me start off by telling you right up front that I don’t know. I got in my car and the next thing I knew I was here.”

      She nodded, staring at her feet before finally lifting her gaze to meet his. “This is so strange. Lately, it seems all I have to do is think about you, and you appear.”

      He released the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Gray didn’t know what he’d been expecting, but their reunion last night had seemed…well, bittersweet. In the bright light of day, or rather the dimming light of evening, she could have easily turned him away.

      This was the last place he should be. Looking up an old flame had nothing to do with the job he’d come back to do. In fact, it could only get in the way.

      “You’ve been on my mind, too. I didn’t like the way we left things.”

      She bit her lip. “Um, is there somewhere we can go to talk? To catch up? I think I gave you the wrong impression last night…about your past. I’m not judging you—”

      “Where do you want to go?” What was he doing? It wasn’t too late to walk away.

      But he stayed rooted to the spot, watching her face. He could stare at her face for hours. Periodically over the years, he’d wondered what kind of woman she’d become, and his imagination hadn’t done her justice.

      Her cheekbones, which had been round and full in youth, now arched high with the grace and beauty of maturity. Her skin was still as clear and perfect as it had always been, showcasing her pretty brown eyes and full berry-colored lips. Watching those lips, Gray couldn’t help thinking about kissing them.

      Rennie shifted her weight from foot to foot as if she were waging an internal debate. She still had the telltale habit of tapping her fingers on her thigh when she was conflicted.

      “Rennie, we can do this another time,” Gray said, trying to give her an out. It probably wasn’t a good idea, anyway.

      His voice seemed to bring her to a decision. “No, um, I really want to talk. Otherwise, I’ll keep thinking about you—” She stopped abruptly and shook her head. “Not that there’s anything wrong with thinking about you. That’s not what I meant…”

      Gray laughed. “I know what you meant.” Last night, he’d mistaken her fluster for fear. It was a relief to know that she didn’t think he was some kind of monster.

      “Would you like to come back to my apartment? This isn’t a come-on or anything. It’s just that restaurants are noisy, and there isn’t a lot of privacy with the waiters coming back and forth. My refrigerator isn’t exactly fully stocked, but I’m sure we could scrape something up. I just don’t want you to think—”

      He reached out to touch the hand rapidly drumming on her leg, to halt both her fidgeting and her anxious ramble. “I’m not going to get any ideas. I promise. We’ll just talk, okay?”

      She nodded, clearly relieved. “Do you want to follow me? My apartment isn’t far.”

      As Gray followed Rennie’s lime green 1999 Volkswagen Beetle, he tried not to dwell on this reckless decision. He needed to see her. Once they talked about old times over a bite to eat, he’d go back to work at the club and put Rennie in a neat little package labeled the past. Maybe he’d be able to reopen that package one day, but for now, this one evening was all he could allow himself.

      Twenty minutes later they pulled into a sophisticated apartment complex. She may work six blocks from the old neighborhood, but Rennie Williams had chosen to live in the suburbs. He couldn’t fault her for that.

      She parked her car and waited for him in front of the building.

      “How long have you been living here?” he asked as they rode up on the elevator.

      “A year next month.”

      “What made you come back? I thought when you left for Texas, you would end up settling down there.”

      Rennie sighed, as though thinking carefully about his question. “Well, after I got my Ph.D., I was teaching undergrad classes. One of my colleagues knew I had an interest in women’s issues, so he told me there was a slot opening up at the L.A. Help Center. A literacy group had just relocated, and the Help Center board wanted to start a program targeted specifically to women,” she said, unlocking her apartment door. “This is it.” Rennie stepped back so he could precede her inside.

      “This is a nice place. It’s definitely you.”

      Though the room didn’t look anything like Rennie’s old bedroom, being inside her apartment gave him the same feeling. There weren’t any beefcake posters or stuffed animals, but he could see hints of his old Rennie in this more mature and stylish room.

      She still loved flowers. Instead of dotting her wallpaper, they were displayed in silk arrangements throughout the apartment. And she hadn’t lost her appreciation for LL Cool J. Instead of hanging on her closet doors, he dominated the CD collection in the rack beside the stereo.

      And there were new sides of her Gray hadn’t experienced. Like the fact that she liked Japanese artwork. The room had elaborately painted silk screens and ornate fans hanging on the walls.

      He moved to the bookshelf. “When did you start reading romance novels?”

      “I use them at the Center to show battered women what a healthy relationship can be like. Since then, I’ve become a fan myself.”

      Gray continued to move around the room, asking Rennie about the knickknacks or gadgets he came across. Each item was like a puzzle piece, completing his picture of the woman Rennie had become.

      Finally he picked up a tiny frame, featuring an abstract collage of music notes with a French quote in the center. “Every soul is a melody which needs renewing,” he read aloud.

      Rennie turned. “Is that what it says? My friend Alise gave that to me because she liked the design. Since we’d both taken Spanish in high school, neither one of us could read the quote.”

      Gray realized immediately that he’d made a mistake.

      “When did you learn to speak French?”

      He couldn’t tell her that since he’d joined SPEAR he’d become fluent in five languages, including French. Normally, sticking to his cover wasn’t a problem, but because Rennie was tied to his past, things were complicated.

      “No, I don’t speak French. I’ve seen that frame before. The translation was written on a sticker on the back. I guess I just have a really good memory.”

      She studied him for a long moment. “I see. Well, make yourself comfortable while I see what kind of leftovers I have in the kitchen.”

      A few minutes later, Rennie entered the room. “I hope you aren’t too hungry because all I have in the fridge are a pitiful

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