LITMIR.BIZ

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the crowd with the precision and balance of your body.

      Before walking through any door – the door to your office, a party, a meeting, even your kitchen – picture a leather bit hanging by a cable from the frame. It is swinging just an inch higher than your head. As you pass through the door, throw your head back and chomp on the imaginary dental grip which first pulls your cheeks back into a smile, and then lifts you up. As you ascend high above the gasping crowd, your body is stretched into perfect alignment – head high, shoulders back, torso out of hips, feet weightless. At the zenith of the tent, you spin like a graceful top to the amazement and admiration of the crowd craning their necks to watch you. Now you look like a Somebody.

      One day, to test Hang by Your Teeth, I decided to count how many times I walked through a doorway. Sixty times, even at home. You calculate: twice out your front door, twice in, six times to the bathroom, eight times to the kitchen, and through countless doors at your office. It adds up. Visualize anything sixty times a day and it becomes a habit! Habitual good posture is the first mark of a Big Winner.

      Technique 4:

      Hang by your teeth

      Visualize a circus iron-jaw bit hanging from the frame of every door you walk through. Take a bite and, with it firmly between your teeth, let it swoop you to the peak of the big top. When you Hang by Your Teeth, every muscle is stretched into perfect posture position.

      You are now ready to float into the room to captivate the crowd or close the sale (or maybe just settle for looking like the most important Somebody in the room).

      You now have all the basics Bob the artist needs to portray you as a Big Winner. Like he said, ‘great posture, a heads-up look, a confident smile, and a direct gaze.’ The ideal image for somebody who’s a Somebody.

      Now let’s put the whole act into motion. It’s time to turn your attention outward to your Conversation Partner. Use the next two techniques to make him or her feel like a million.

      ‘Well, how do you like me so far?’

      Remember the old joke? The comic comes onstage and the first words out of his mouth are, ‘Well, how do you like me so far?’ The audience always cracks up. Why? Because we all silently ask that question. Whenever we meet someone, we know, consciously or subconsciously, how they’re reacting to us.

      Do they look at us? Do they smile? Do they lean toward us? Do they somehow recognize how wonderful and special we are? We like those people. They have good taste. Or do they turn away, obviously unimpressed by our magnificence. The cretins!

      Two people getting to know each other are like little puppies sniffing each other out. We don’t have tails that wag or hair that bristles. But we do have eyes that narrow or widen. And hands that flash knuckles or subconsciously soften in the palms-up ‘I submit’ position. We have dozens of other involuntary reactions that take place in the first few moments of togetherness.

      Attorneys conducting voir dire are exquisitely aware of this. They pay close attention to your instinctive body reactions. They watch to see how fully you are facing them and just how far forward or back you’re leaning while answering their questions. They check out your hands. Are they softly open, palms up, signifying acceptance of the ideas they’re expressing? Or are you making a slight fist, knuckles out, signalling rejection? They scrutinize your face for the split seconds you break eye contact when discussing relevant subjects like your feelings on big awards for damages, or the death penalty. Sometimes attorneys bring along a legal assistant whose sole job is to sit on the sidelines and take precise note of your every fidget.

      An interesting aside: trial lawyers often choose women to do this twitch-and-turn spying job because, traditionally, females are sharper observers of subtle body cues than males. Women, more sensitive to emotions than men, often ask their husbands, ‘Is something bothering you, Honey?’ (These supersensitive women accuse their husbands of being so insensitive to emotions that they wouldn’t notice anything is wrong until their neckties are drenched in her tears.)

      The attorney and the assistant then review your ‘score’ on the dozens of subconscious signals you flashed. Depending on their tally, you could find yourself on jury duty or twiddling your thumbs back in the juror’s waiting room.

      Trial lawyers are so conscious of body language that, in the 1960s during the famous trial of the Chicago Seven, defence attorney William Kuntsler actually made a legal objection to Judge Julius Hoffman’s posture. During the summation by the prosecution, Judge Hoffman leaned forward which, accused Kuntsler, sent a message to the jury of attention and interest. During his defence summation, complained Kuntsler, Judge Hoffman leaned back, sending the jury a subliminal message of disinterest.

      You’re on trial – and you only have ten seconds!

      Like lawyers deciding whether they want you on their case, everybody you meet makes a subconscious judgment on whether they want you in their lives. They base their verdict greatly on the same signals, your body-language answer to their unspoken question, ‘Well, how do you like me so far?’

      The first few moments of your reactions set the stage upon which the entire relationship will be played out. If you ever want anything from the new acquaintance, your unspoken answer to their unspoken question, ‘How do you like me so far?’ must be, ‘Wow! I really like you.’

      When a little four-year-old feels bashful, he slumps, puts his arms up in front of his chest, steps back, and hides behind mummy’s skirt. However, when little Johnny sees daddy come home, he runs up to him, he smiles, his eyes get wide, and he opens his arms for a hug. A loving child’s body is like a tiny flower bud unfolding to the sunshine.

      Twenty, thirty, forty, fifty years of life on earth make little difference. When forty-year-old Johnny is feeling timid, he slumps and folds his arms in front of his chest. When he wants to reject a salesman or business colleague, he turns away and closes him off with a myriad of body signals. However, when welcoming his loved one home after an absence, big Johnny opens his body to her like a giant daffodil spreading its petals to the sun after a rainstorm.

      Respond to the hidden infant

      Once I was at a corporate star-studded party with an attractive recently divorced friend of mine. Carla had been a copywriter with one of the leading advertising agencies which, like so many companies then, had downsized. My girlfriend was both out of work and out of a relationship.

      At this particular party, the pickings for Carla were good, both personally and professionally. Several times as Carla and I stood talking, one good-looking corporate male beast or another would find himself within a few feet of us. More often than not, one of these desirable males would flash his teeth at Carla. She sometimes graced the tentatively courting male with a quick smile over her shoulder. But then she’d turn back to our mundane conversation as though she were hanging on my every word. I knew she was trying not to look anxious, but inside Carla was crying out, ‘Why doesn’t he come and speak to us?’

      Right after one prize corporate Big Cat smiled but, due to Carla’s minimal reaction, wandered back into the social jungle, I had to say, ‘Carla, do you know who that was? He’s the head of the Young & Rubicam in Paris. They’re looking for copywriters willing to relocate. And he’s single!’ Carla moaned.

      Just then we heard a little voice down by Carla’s left knee. ‘Hello!’ We looked down simultaneously. Little five-year-old Willie, the hostess’s adorable young son, was tugging on Carla’s skirt, obviously craving attention.

      ‘Well, well, well,’ Carla cried out, a big smile erupting all over her face. Carla turned toward him. Carla kneeled down. Carla touched little Willie’s elbow. And Carla

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